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My Next Career Move: Millionaire’s Club

To tell you the truth, slots is not my strongest game. But, hey, how could anyone not play slots when there’s a record breaking jackpot sitting there waiting for a taker?! I just had to give the Millionaire’s Club a shot. I mean, the $3 million would pay at least half of my parking tickets.

So off I went to play some slots. As you probably know, Millionaire’s Club is not your regular one-line three cherries everyday sleazy diner slot. Oh no, this game is more like the applied advanced rocket science of slot machines! With nine lines that cross each other in a completely undecipherable pattern over five reels of golf bags, airplanes, princess cut diamonds and whatnot, hell you’ve got your work cut out for you. Sayonara Sudoku.

But wtf, there’s something wrong with the software. Clearly I have four golf bags along the red line, so I should win 50 bets but I only got 10. Hey, no wonder the house has an edge when they plant that kind of bugs in the program. Obviously they did not expect anyone with above average IQ to play the game. So why did they develop it for nuclear physicists? Never mind, it’s an opportunity for me. I wonder how they will reward me when I point out the flaw in my e-mail.

Oh, a swift response from the help desk, I’ll give them that. Let’s see. What? The golf bags are supposed to be in consecutive order from left to right? So why didn’t they say that. They’ve run the game several hundred thousands of times without finding any errors? The independent auditors haven’t found any errors either?

Well, never mind. I’m going for the jackpot. Shouldn’t be that hard now once I’ve got the hang of it. Wow, now there’s five airplanes in a row. What, no payout? Surely there must be a line combining them? Hey, let’s send an e-mail to the help desk. I wonder how they will reward me…

Well, you get the point. So take my word for it: Just spin the wheel and go with the flow. If you see patterns where there aren’t any, it just goes to show that your IQ is above average. Suck it up at keep your big mouth shut.

Yours truly,
Spinner

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This entry was posted on Thursday, June 8th, 2006 at 3:11 am and is filed under Casino, Slots. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.