ONLINE GAMBLING AND CASINO GUIDE

Imagine the following scenario:

You are on a flight from Los Angeles to Las Vegas, and the flight attendant comes rushing out of the cockpit in a panic yelling “Oh my god, both of our pilots have had simultaneous heart attacks, can anyone fly a plane?!!!”

As the cabin erupts in screams and prayers, some long-haired dirtbag emerges from the rear lavatory clutching a Penthouse with his zipper still visibly down.  He looks like he has been vigorously exercising, and you think to yourself “How in the hell is it possible to exercise on a Boeing 737?”.

The scummy guy hands you the Penthouse and says “Hold this for me while I land this damn thing, but do not lose my place.  So help me if I pleasure myself to the same picture twice there will be hell to pay!”.

The weirdo strides into the cockpit, and within 15 minutes, the plane is safely on the ground at McCarran.

Believe it or not, this could actually happen.

As people who have read any of my garbage for any length of time know, I have a mild obsession with airplanes.  When I am walking along The Strip, and an airplane flies overhead, I always stop and watch it. Sometimes I will point and exclaim “I think he’s using quiet climb” to nobody in particular.  I used to hang out at a place called Gravelly Point in DC, and I have had similar “plane-spotting” areas in the other cities in which I have lived, including here in Las Vegas.

I’ve always greatly enjoyed flying (at least before the TSA nonsense).  One of my relatives was an airline pilot and a certified flight instructor, and I not only logged many hours flying in the jump seat of large  commercial airplanes, but yours truly even learned how to fly both single and multi engine aircrafts.

I actually thought about becoming a commercial pilot at one point, but sometimes life puts you on a different path.  It happens.

Last night I got a call from a friend of mine who had been requested to take care of an unusual task.  His partner was doing a commercial flight to Tucson on Friday, the tank of his SR22 was completely full, and he wanted us to burn off some fuel.

Not a problem.  I was busy in the afternoon, so I met up with my buddy at North Las Vegas Air Terminal at 7am, and after a quick pre-flight check, we hit the sky.   This was one of the most violent days I have flown in quite awhile.  This was Seattle weather.  Uncharacteristic for June in Vegas, it was quite overcast, there was sporadic drizzle, and the winds aloft were strong for a smaller aircraft.  We had steady 26knot winds gusting higher out of the south and west, and our route took us through a couple of mountain ranges which increased the roughness of the flight.  We were being shaken like a couple of marbles in a tin can crossing Lake Mead, but a smooth flight is slightly overrated.  Having your life flash in front of you two or three times is good for the soul.  It also made me realize that I spend way too much time in lavatories with a Penthouse.

One of the major differences between flying single-engine in the East Coast and West Coast is the proximity to mountains.  When you take off in the East, you see trees and water.  That’s more or less it.  You may see a hill here or there, but it’s fairly flat.  Flying out of the high desert means that you may be 5,000 feet in the air, but in some areas you may only be 500 feet above ground level … or worse, below ground level.  You can fly at five thousand feet for the entire length of the East Coast, but here you must pay close attention or you could literally noseplant the aircraft into the side of a mountain.

The Cirrus SR22 which we flew today is a beautiful plane with a completely glass cockpit with avionics that are very similar to a 777 and other large commercial aircraft.  It has an auto pilot system that will fly itself while literally allowing you to sit back and enjoy the scenery while web-surfing (wireless connectivity is quite good below about 6,000 feet), while alerting you to topographical events ahead, as well as all nearby aircrafts.

When all was said and done, we had passed over the Valley of Fire/Overton, Lake Mead, Hoover Dam, Primm/Jean, and we flew the I-15 corridor back into the Vegas Valley passing directly over the M  Hotel and crossing The Strip a few times.

We accomplished our goal of burning the requisite amount of fuel and returned to the North Las Vegas Air Terminal with an absolutely stellar landing.  Any landing you walk away from is stellar, but given the winds, it was really pretty good.

Buzzing 2,000-4,000 feet above the valley floor is a fine way to spend a morning in Las Vegas.

I also had the wherewithal to get some photos along the way.

Enjoy.

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