ONLINE GAMBLING AND CASINO GUIDE

As the summer breathed its last gasp of air before slipping away, I decided to go ahead and play in the sun one final time before breaking out my wool cap and throwing the jacket in for a wash.

A friend of mine is staying at the Luxor the entire week, and I went over yesterday to watch women lay around the edges of large containers of water in their underwear.

While often a lumber yard, there was a  reasonable amount of females on the north side of the Luxor pool, and this made the trip more than worthwhile.

Given my status as the most famous and renowned blogger in the northern hemisphere, and given that I have won the Review-Journal’s coveted “Best Dressed Male in Las Vegas” award for 8 years running, I walked around the pool looking for 20-something aged women in thongs with whom to impress with my credentials.

Unbeknownst to me, the south end of the pool adjacent to the cabanas is now the “gay area”, and when I accidentally stumbled into this banana forest, I was slightly bummed.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against “gay areas”, I just wish that 99% of all visibly gay people weren’t males.  I don’t understand why the GLBTA community can’t display their attractive female members a little more openly.  And by “openly”, I mean … well, you probably know what I mean.

Every now and then I get a complaint along the lines of “Rex, lesbians don’t exist to fulfill your juvenile male fantasies.”

My response to these people is always the same.

“Yes they do.”

It is my official position that women turn to lesbianism out of frustration because they can’t have me, and thus seek comfort in each other’s arms.  From there on out, their lives revolve around trying to arouse me enough to see the light and accept their sexual advances.  Sure, they will all deny that this is the case, or even laugh and ridicule the suggestion … but that’s just a part of their coping mechanism.

Anyway, to be forewarned is to be, well, warned ahead of time.

Let it be known:  There is a clear line of demarcation at the Luxor pool when it comes to sexual orientation, so be sure you know what you’re getting into.  North Pool=Pink Eye, South Pool=Brown Eye.  You won’t find this concise and useful information anywhere else.  You’re welcome.

After the pool and a bit of Luxor gaming yesterday, I headed Downtown.  Sunday night was the final night for the “Summer of ’69” theme, and the turnout for the farewell was extremely large.  I did grow a bit exhausted of the theme last month, but it is obvious that, as a whole, this theme was an overwhelming hit.

While waiting for the final concert (Three Dog Night) I spoke with one lady who was in tears.  She was a resident of  Las Vegas since the 1970′s, and she told me that this was the “best summer ever” on Fremont Street, and she was genuinely sad to see it come to an end.  She was passing a spliff back and forth to her gentleman friend as we were talking, and she generously offered me a hit (which I of course declined).

Some people become emotional after imbibing certain things.  While talking to her further, I felt that if I pointed to my socks she would have said they were the “best socks ever”, so I didn’t to not ruin the moment.

Once again, I have to give much respect to all of the casinos on Fremont Street for their efforts this summer.  They pulled crowds, they entertained, they gave a large amount of fun and recreation to tourists and locals alike … and there really were no strings attached.

I took my kids on some nights just to see the music and the light shows without spending a penny on anything other than junk food.  On other nights I went alone or with friends, and I gambled and dined.  I had no problems either way.

This summer, Downtown really was an environment in which young, old, local, tourist, upper-class, working-class, and pretty much every demographic came together under the same canopy to have a good time.

I have a new found respect and loyalty for the properties in the environs of Fremont Street.  They earned it.  I think they changed many minds this summer, and people who used to avoid Downtown and  rag on it (I’ve been guilty of this at times) are going to have a harder time making their case.

If you play mostly black and purple in the Wynn and Bellagio or like others to perceive that you are financially well-off while trance music thumps in the background … Downtown is still not for you.

Since the street is closed to vehicle traffic, you can’t drive the Daddylac down Fremont while flexing your Chinese character tattoos out the window.  You can’t poke your head out of a limo sunroof and shout “Vegas, Baby!” to folks on the sidewalk.  Downtown is not big on design detail, nor are they obsessed with replacing casino carpeting on a frequent basis.  Downtown is also too close to the real hood for most wiggers and Galleria Gangstas.

For everyone else … people who are comfortable in their own skin, are cool with a recessionary bankroll, and people who typically stay in places like Harrah’s, T.I., Monte Carlo, etc … Downtown should be a serious consideration for future trips.  They are busting their ass to get your business.

In 2009, if I was still a tourist coming to Vegas to mid-roll, I would probably book a room Downtown.

Hell, if I was coming to high-roll I might do the same.  $500/hand at the Wynn makes you above average, but still quite ordinary.  The same bankroll Downtown will garner you the appreciation that typically only exists in Vegas movies.

Just by straight eyeballing it, The Labor Day Crowds throughout Las Vegas were similar to that of Memorial Day, and I once again had flashbacks to 2006 and 2007.

Traffic was as bad as I have seen it (complete gridlock at times), pools were busy, and while many  gambling tables seemed packed, not all available tables were always open.  This makes it hard to assess actual gaming interest.  The last two years have proven that the presence of large throngs of people during particular holiday spikes is a poor predictor of revenue trends.

Raw numbers of humans represent potential streams of income, but unless people lose large amounts of money at the gaming tables or spend a greater-than-usual amount of dough on rooms, dining, shows, etc … income could continue falling even with 100% occupancy and people sleeping in their cars.

Revenue knowledge excluded, the crowds exceeded my expectations, both in numbers and enthusiasm.

Anyway, the Summer of 2009 is now officially in the books.  It started strong and finished strong, but it fluctuated wildly in-between.  Soon enough, we’ll soon know how well Las Vegas did in all of the usual benchmarks.

As much as I enjoyed the poolside gambling, the scantily dressed women, and the Downtown vibe … I have to admit one thing.  I’m damn happy it’s over.

Bring on the cold, bring on the wind, and of course, bring on City Center.

As fun as summer may have been, the Fall of 2009/Winter of 2010 is going to be where the rubber meets the road, and it will be when the new era of Las Vegas officially starts.

Stay tuned.

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