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There are a few groups that come to town on a yearly basis that I probably shouldn’t enjoy being around … but I do anyway.

The ones that spring immediately to mind are rodeo folks, NASCAR people, and Trekkies (or trekkers, or whatever the hell they want to be called).

The only reason I say that I probably shouldn’t enjoy the company of the above groups is because I know absolutely nothing about the objects of their affection.

I’ve never been to a rodeo.

I’ve never been to a (legal) car race.

I’ve never watched one, single, solitary episode of Star Trek.  I did see the Wrath of Kahn movie where a guy had his brain destroyed by a earwig, compelling him to start a company called “Wynn Resorts, Inc”, but that was 20+ years ago and it is the only scene I remember from the flick.

When I am surrounded by Star Trek fans, I generally have no idea what they are talking about.  I know some of the popular catchphrases.  I know the names of the two captains, Scottie and the Spock dude (who inexplicably wrote a book on child psychology) … but I couldn’t name another character in the series if you held a gun to my head.  I’m just not into sci-fi, or even fiction at all.

This being the case, it’s a bit unusual that I make a yearly pilgrimage to the Hilton when the Star Trek convention is in town.

Why do I do it?

Because I really like the Trekkie crowd.  They are the very antithesis of douchebags.  Come to think of it, this may be one of the primary reasons that I like the other aforementioned groups.  They are always a departure from the metrosexuals and wannabe-thugs that overran the town for a solid five years … although the douche numbers have since declined.

They also diligently kept Las Vegas safe from Ricardo Montalban (rest in peace).

After car racing fans, the Trek people are probably the next coolest group that comes to town … as oxymoronic as that may sound.

Case in point:

I roamed the halls of the Hilton Convention Center last night, and every person I asked to photograph was more than happy to oblige.  100% of them.  Without hesitation.  I approached one man in a costume pushing a costumed lady in a wheelchair, and asked if I could photograph them.  I just thought it made an interesting shot.

The lady apologized profusely, said “I’m sorry, I just had surgery and that’s why I am in this thing”, and she climbed out of the chair.  I protested “no, no, that’s okay I don’t want you to get up” … but she insisted on standing up and posing with her husband so that I could get a shot of their costumes.  She did this despite not having the slightest idea who I was.  She just didn’t want the photograph to look sad with someone sitting in a wheelchair.

That’s dedication.

I’ve also never encountered an angry or surly trekkie in their natural habitat.  They are always smiling, polite, friendly, and they seem to have great senses of humor, and don’t seem to offend easily.

Even though it looks kind of silly, they still wear star fleet shirts and brown foreheads.  They know that people point and snicker at them, but they simply could not care less.  I guess this is where I feel a bond with these people.  They know how I feel on a daily basis.

Anyway, I made my way to the main convention hall in time for the popular costume contest.  A record was set this year with 100 people vying for the $500 prize, and it ended up being a tie for 1st place because the judge declared it too close to call.

For what it’s worth, the co-winners were a borg and a chick wrapped in blue tin foil  … video below:

After the convention festivities on Saturday Night, the Trek attendees made a beeline for the bar and the gaming tables, and this gave me a chance to mingle with Trekkies in my own comfort zone.

I hit the SpaceQuest Bar near the old (and now closed) Star Trek Experience, and a solid 80% of the patrons were conventioneers.

On two separate occasions I tried to incite a drunken Trekkie brawl, but I wasn’t getting any takers.  First I declared that Captain Kirk would make Piccard his bitch, and I elicited a few chuckles and blank stares.

Assuming that everyone simply agreed with me, I reversed the polarity of my declaration, and announced that Piccard’s schlong was twice the size of Kirk’s.

Same reaction.

When a bar full of people in Star Trek uniforms give you strange looks, you know you’ve hit rock bottom.

Even though I thought a full-scale Trekkie riot would have been incredibly entertaining, it just wasn’t going to happen.  I talked to some of my new acquaintances, and I was informed that the Trek community doesn’t really argue over that particular issue and that it was a stereotype.

I eventually gave up trying to start a space war, and just began asking people where they were from and where they were staying.  The Trekkies came from literally all over North American, and this convention has to be a huge boost for the Hilton because at least half of the folks indicated that they were staying on-property.

I asked one guy in a Kirk outfit if he was able to get everyone superior deals on rooms and airfare now that he had been appointed to the high command of Priceline Negotiator, and everyone seemed duly amused. Shatner jokes are a universal language that everyone understands.

After trying to get my mack on with some Klingon chicks, I walked back into the casino and played a little single deck.  I was disappointed to see that most of the tables were 6:5 (including the DD tables), but I can no longer go to a major casino south of Sahara Ave. during a large event and expect much better.  I simply play less and I don’t tip on naturals.  It doesn’t make up for the extra take, but it helps.

I did, however, finally manage to elicit visible scorn, and I wasn’t even trying this time.

When a player across from me in a Trek shirt hit a blackjack, I held up the vulcan hand gesture and screamed “Shazbot!”

“That’s Mork and Mindy!” he yelled back.

Well F me.

I guess I have run into one surly Trekkie after all.

After a very short BJ session, I placed a straight Roulette bet on #12 (long story) and lost.

I also yanked the Star Trek slot machine a few times, and played some 9/6 JOB.  I hit an uncanny number of flushes, one drawn on the first hand, and walked away with a modest profit.

After procuring a sandwich at the Sports Deli, I came home with something like $2.25 more than I left with.  That’s about as break-even as a night can be.  I obviously did poorly at single deck.

Overall, I enjoyed the outing.  The whole point of gambling at the Hilton during the convention is to be surrounded by Star Trek fans, and this weekend didn’t disappoint.

I talked with a wide variety of people from all walks of life and socioeconomic backgrounds, was educated as to some of the finer points of the show (which was over my head), and I really like the camaraderie and respect that everyone has for each other.

I still don’t “get” Star Trek, and why it inspires such legions of devotees, but it’s completely irrelevant.  The people who seem drawn to this particular TV show seem to be quality human beings, which is far more than I can say for most religions.

Rock on Trekkies.

May your phasers always penetrate your target, and may your rigid space vessels always be pointed toward the heavens.

I’ll see you next year.

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