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Yesterday, construction began on our questionably-sane Mayor’s pet project, the Las Vegas Mob Museum.

Situated between the Downtown Transit Center and Las Vegas City Hall stands the 80 year old Federal Courthouse and U.S. Post Office which played host to well-publicized hearings on organized crime in 1950.

This building is now undergoing an 18 month conversion to showcase nationwide organized murder.  The full name will be the ‘”Las Vegas Museum of Organized Crime and Law Enforcement”.

Of course, the question that immediately comes to mind is “Why?”.  Of all the things we could build a monument to, organized crime is at the top of the list?

Really?

Was the National Serial Killer Museum already spoken for?

This project is questionable.  At least to me.

In a town that is currently caught up in a victimless crime enforcement frenzy (prostitution),  it seems just a tiny bit disingenuous for the government of that very same city to shell out $50 million to create a shrine to murder.  Fifty Million Dollars.  Granted it’s Federal (your) money, but still … couldn’t it be put to slightly better use?

Why not spend one million dollars to build a shrine to the 100 most prolific drunk drivers in Vegas, and spend the other forty nine million paying off some delinquent mortgages and feeding hungry people?

At least we would have some cash left over to actually help the city.

One of the centerpieces of the museum will be a wall against which seven Chicago mobsters were killed execution-style.  I am not kidding.  Nothing says “Let’s get drunk, gamble, and have a good time!” like getting up close and personal with a murder wall.

Now, I don’t want to seem too obtuse.  I “get” the idea behind this museum.  I understand the general interest in crime syndicates.  This is why movies such as Goodfellas and the Godfather are popular, and it is why we have Mob Tours here in Las Vegas.  People find crime exciting.  People fantasize about blowing other people’s heads off each and every day (especially while sitting in traffic), and crime movies and “museums” allow said people to live vicariously through the actions of others.

However, I don’t think these endeavors are a legitimate function of government.  Such vice fantasies are probably best left to private enterprise.

How does a municipality enforce the very same laws they openly glamorize being broken?  How do they erect a museum to crime one short mile from the County Jail?

When modern gangbangers are busted for shooting a child with a stray bullet, will they be jailed, or photographed and put in the museum?  Or both?

It’s a bit of a paradox.

I honestly never thought that this thing would see the light of day, but that’s only because I am a wild-eyed optimist. Much like Oscar’s other pet project, the professional sports team, I figured that this one wouldn’t get past the planning stage.

I don’t just not understand the subject matter, I also don’t understand the timing.  The government usually waits until we have solved a conflict before erecting museums to it.  Imagine building the Vietnam War Memorial in 1968.  It would have been inconceivable.

Yet, the same thing is happening with this museum.

Organized crime is not gone.  Not even close.  There is more of it today than there ever has been.

The Crips are organized, so are the Bloods, so are the Latin Kings and M13.  Organized Mexican criminals run drugs across the border each and every day.

Where is their museum?

The Russian Mob is still prevalent in seaside Brooklyn, and of course, the largest organized criminal syndicate of all … The U.S. Congress … is still running one hell of a racket.

The murder rate in this country is still quite high, and while crime ebbs and flows from one year to the next … it’s hardly a thing of the past.  Celebrating something you haven’t come close to solving seems a bit dimwitted.

And then there’s Oscar’s mock outrage every time something happens here locally.

Think about it … the guy that acts like a gigantic jizzbag drama queen by declaring “off with their heads” to a bunch of kids who scribble across a sign … wants to immortalize people who shot and killed each other on a routine basis.

Am I the only one who finds this a little off?

There is tons of graffiti in Las Vegas.  Why isn’t the boozehound pushing for a “vandalism museum”?

The problem with asking these questions is that nobody ever answers them.

The explanation for everything Goodman does in this town is “Ha Ha, oh that’s Oscar for you!”,as if this somehow means anything.  In my opinion, the only thing it does is showcase the mental midgetry of the average Las Vegas voter.

Each time The Mayor does something inexplicable, people guffaw and fall all over themselves in histrionics like it’s just the cutest and coolest thing they’ve ever seen.

“Isn’t our Mayor great???!!!” the people who have never been to Foremaster Lane will gush.

Giving an elected official a pass because he swills gin and drags showgirls around with him is sheer insanity.

I can’t wait until I am elected.  I’ll smoke a fat sack on the courthouse steps while being openly fondled by eight nude strippers.  I’ll turn the Lady Luck into a $500 million shrine to black tar heroin.

I mean, if this is what the electorate really wants, far be it from me to disappoint.  If they like Oscar, they’re going to love me.  I’ll be twice as outrageous but only half as useless.  I’m already standing in line to get my free pass from the constituency.

If all you have to do is act like a horny addict to get elected in this town, then my opponents may as well save their campaign funds.  They don’t have a chance running against me.

When I arrive at the City Council Meeting with an Asian hooker on my arm and a fifth of Vodka in my hand, they’ll say “That’s just Rex”.

And people wonder why the town is screwed like a groupie.

“It is an iconic moment in Mob history”, Goodman said.

Hey Oscar, why not just extend an open invitation to violent criminals worldwide.

“Come to Las Vegas and claim your rightful place in the annals of history.  Other towns may vilify you, but here … we’ll starve our citizens to immortalize you forever.”

That’s our Oscar!  Tee-hee.

The museum is scheduled to open in the first quarter of 2011.

It’s scheduled for controlled demolition in order to make way for a Carls Jr. in 2012.

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