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Yesterday, three separate events happened to coincide in Downtown on the very same day.

The events were First Friday, the Farmer’s Market, and the Gay Pride Parade.  These three events have never co-existed before … and it made for some interesting logistical issues with regards to getting around.

Despite the large number of road closures and detours going on last night,  I was able to hit all three.  Luckily, I have my own “shortcuts”.  Since they involve alleys and even alternative modes of transit, these are tricks your cab driver will probably not be familiar with, but what can I say … they work for me.

First up was The Farmer’s Market.  Last week was a dry run, but this week was the Grand Opening.

In addition to vendors this week, they also had live entertainment.  Again, this is probably not terribly interesting to tourists, but on a personal level I’ll probably hit the new market a couple times a month.   Fresh strawberries and kettle corn work for me.  As does supporting Downtown.  If you will be vacationing here this summer, and will be Downtown on a Friday, by all means head a few blocks east and do some shopping with us riff-raff.

After the market,  I walked a couple of blocks west to the Fremont Street Experience where I hung out for a few hours to await the beginning of the Gay Pride Parade.

Now, I take a lot of criticism from people who try their best to be politically correct.  Exactly zero of these “diverse” critics know me, but hardly a day goes by where someone doesn’t call me a “racist”, “misogynist”, or “homophobe” at least once.

Most of these people anticipate the standard “No, I’m not!” response and wait for me to justify my comments, but they typically end up waiting a very long time.  The accusations don’t bother me.

I grew up in areas where the only white face I saw was when I looked in the mirror, and my roommate for a couple of years was a pickle muncher.  Despite this, he never “came out” so to speak.

“Why do I need to define myself by my sexual orientation”, he would say.

It was excellent logic.

Defining yourself by the manner in which you use your wiener has always struck me as gratuitous. If someone were to ask me what I was, I doubt I would ever say “a heterosexual human”.  I would probably just say “a human”.

I am by no means a stranger to gay folks.  It probably comes as no great shock to anyone that many creative people are indeed, gay.

Back in “my day” (Jesus, I’m old), we were actually allowed to make fun of each other.

Every now and then I hung out in a gay club in DC called “Badlands”.   I wasn’t a huge fan of the gay porn that they displayed on screens near the urinals, but other than that, the place was cool.

If I spent more than 60 in the bathroom, my flaming cohorts would never miss the opportunity to insinuate that I took too long because I was being “converted” in the bathroom stall.  They would constantly monitor my zipper for any sign of a boner, and if anything looked out of place, they would exclaim things such as “I saw it move, see, I told you he was one of us!”

At this point, I would drop my wrist, start prancing around, and declare with a lisp “Oh you are so right!”.

Everybody would break into laughter, take a drink, light up a tree, and move on to the next topic.

It would be hard to get away with that today.  “Tolerance” is the new buzzword, and the true meaning of the word has been twisted into something completely unrecognizable.  Tolerance is now anything but.  It means steadfast adherence to PC newspeak.  It means intellectual surrender, and it means the complete forfeiture of any rights to form your own opinions and biases, which are innate necessities of the human animal.  I really want no part of it.   By today’s definitions, I would much rather be considered and “ist” or a “phobe”, than “tolerant”.  The tolerance movement has become much more hateful than anything I have ever encountered growing up.

I do not deny that it is tough for men to grow up gay … but it’s tough to grow up period.  I don’t know if it is harder to grow up gay than it is to grow up obese, or with crack addicted parents, or poor.  Everybody has challenges to overcome.  Gay people don’t have a monopoly on suffering.

As a matter of fact, a large percentage of gay people I know are very successful, and having lived in urban areas my entire life, I cannot honestly say that I have ever really witnessed any real discrimination with my own eyes.  Sure, I’ve heard rude remarks and slurs, but that’s part of life.   Everyone has been on the  receiving end of such remarks.

I am also not big on the Gay “Pride” thing.  I don’t know why anyone should be proud of where they stick their pecker.  It’s like being “proud” to have a proclivity toward blondes over brunettes.  It’s a preference, not an accomplishment.

While I do not completely agree with the theory of the parade,  the fact of the matter is that they are always very fun and entertaining to observe.  If your favorite band is playing a benefit concert, you don’t have to care about the cause to enjoy the show.  This is how I approach the Gay Pride Parade.  The message is irrelevant, I just like to watch the spectacle.  I was not alone.  There were plenty of breeders in the crowd as well.

Although it wasn’t a large crowd, there was a big police and security presence.

It was not always obvious what the parade was about.  Several times during the parade, people came up to me and asked “Do you know what this is about?”.

“It’s the Gay Pride Parade”, I said.  Nobody recoiled in horror.  They simply smiled and watched.

I’ve been to many gay pride parades.  The ones I have been to most often are the New York City parade, the Washington DC parade, and the West Hollywood (Los Angeles) parade, and while it surprises me to say this … The Las Vegas parade is actually very small and tame compared to those cities.

In DC it was common for topless women to throw beads into the crowd, and New York’s and West Hollywood’s parades were always massive with large, elaborate, loud floats, extremely outrageous people, and the crowds in those cities completely dwarf the crowd in Las Vegas.

In comparison to those cities, the Vegas parade is actually a very scaled-down, “G-Rated” parade.

The Vegas crowd was concentrated in a relatively small area, and it was very easy to come and go from the viewing areas.   I was not engulfed (no pun intended) by the crowds as I was in other towns.  It was not packed by any means.

Yes, it surprises me too.

It’s certainly not a bad parade.  It’s a very worthy parade and kudos go to everyone who participated.  Everybody did their thing and had fun, and that’s all that matters.

I think I have just become accustomed to far larger parades and far larger crowds, and I was expecting a little more “flash” at the Vegas event.  This version doesn’t touch the large East Coast events and West Hollywood’s yet, but as the city continues to grow and the gay community continues to grow around it, I have no doubt that we will be a major contender in due time.

Of course, the Parade was very entertaining, as it always is.  With so many colorful people and personalities, how can it not be?

There was also plenty of same-sex displays of affection, and while it’s not really my thing, there is one exception to this.  Lesbians.

There is no way I can be anti-gay, because I am arguably the single largest proponent of lesbianism on the face of the earth.  I’ll hang out with lesbians any day of the week.  The more the better.  Especially those of the lipstick variety.

Fortunately, there were a decent number of these “proud” ladies in the audience, and I did enjoy watching them.  Hell, if I must say so myself, I was a little proud of myself during the parade.  Had you seen the size of the tent I pitched, you would understand why.

After capturing some of my favorite parts of the parade (primarily the parts with the cheerleaders), I headed due south to complete the Downtown Trifecta.

First Friday was going full-tilt.  Due to the road closures and the parade to the north, it still was not at full numerical strength, but the turnout was still good.  There was a minor dust storm that got slightly annoying when the wind kicked up (you can see the dust streaking by in some of the photos), but it was a vast improvement over the bitter cold of April’s event.

I covered First Friday in more detail last month, but on this particular night there was more music, more food, and more people.  I grabbed a taco, enjoyed a wide variety of live music, conversed with my fellow locals, and just kicked back and relaxed as the week drew to a close.

It was a beautiful thing.

I’ve presented the question before, and I will present it again … who says there is nothing to do Downtown?

I submit to you that there is everything to do Downtown.  You just have to know where to look, and you have to be willing to shrug off the sneers of your peers when you tell them where you will be spending your day.

You may get dirty looks, but trust me … it’s worth it.

As a matter of fact, I think we should start having parades for people who are Downtowners, and proud of it!

We can design cool signs, dress in funny clothing, and throw beads at Strip Snobs who swear that Fremont Street should be avoided at all costs.

Obviously, we would need to come up with a slogan to chant as well.

Perhaps “We’re Here, There’s Beer, Get Used To It!”

Or maybe not.

As you can clearly see, it’s a work in progress.

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