The Way We Were
November 16, 2009
I have some folks coming into town next week and today they called and made one, and only one request of me.
“We want you to take us to see an impersonator show”, I was informed.
‘”No problem”, I said, “it’s been awhile since I’ve seen an impersonator show.”
I have known these people for 30 years and they are part of a small handful of humans that I don’t hate. This is the highest compliment I typically give to anyone.
This being the case, of course I shall indulge their wish.
The night after attending a Hawaiian luau at the Imperial Palace on my first trip to Vegas, I returned to the IP to see my very first impersonator show. The IP was a happening place back then. Seriously, I really liked the place.
The show I saw was “Legends in Concert”, and I thought it was absolutely brilliant. Off the top of my head, I remember seeing Little Richard, Shania Twain, and of course … Elvis.
Like Eddie Vedder said in 2006 before launching into “Little Sister” at the MGM Grand Garden Arena, “What’s a Vegas show without an Elvis song?”
If it’s your first visit to Vegas … not much of one I suppose.
For better or worse, Elvis and Las Vegas are damn near synonymous. If I never hear another Frank Sinatra song for the rest of my life it will be too soon, but over the years I have come to begrudgingly accept the Elvis obsession. He was the greatest black entertainer ever (Michael Jackson being the greatest white entertainer).
Trent Carlini as Elvis
While the “impersonator” shows tend to be looked upon as goofy and low-brow, I personally have to take exception to these characterizations. These entertainers are people doing covers of some of their favorite artists, and it takes talent. Every good band has started out doing covers of other people’s work, and most continue to do so throughout their career to some extent.
Nirvana was a Credence Clearwater Revival cover band, Guns N’ Roses played Aerosmith and Rolling Stones covers, and Coldplay used to emulate artists with measurable testosterone levels. Almost every musician started out emulating someone else.
Except Creed. They’ve been completely original since day one.
I strongly feel that tribute and impersonation are very respectable art forms in and of itself. Covering a “superstar”, and not completely butchering the work of said performer is something that only a handful of people can claim to do.
Anyway, much like the decline in “Showgirls” shows, it feels as if impersonator shows are also declining in popularity. This particular request is the first such one I have gotten in perhaps the last four years. I actually remember the last request quite vividly. My wheelchair-bound, morbidly obese, incontinent, alcoholic, transvestite father-in-law (may the nutty bastard rest in peace) pleaded for me to take him to see Frank Marino at the Riviera and I did so and had an excellent time.
La Cage starring Frank Marino at the Riviera
These days, more often than not, visitors that I am required by familial law to entertain typically want to see Love, Mystere, “O”, or another big budget production. This is somewhat discouraging for me, because it feels as if the Vegas I grew to like is losing its soul.
As I sit here searching through impersonator show schedules the way I did just a few years ago, I cannot help but be struck by how much things have changed in the short decade in which I have been here. I’m getting slightly depressed.
Nobody says “take me someplace where the slots still use real quarters”. Nobody asks for me to take them to the best buffet in town. Nobody wants to see the intersection where Tupac was murdered. Nobody wants to take a helicopter ride over The Strip at night. Nobody cares what theme their hotel is, or even if it has a theme at all.
Rarely does anyone ask me about impersonator shows anymore. They no longer ask to see tit shows like they used to either. They wouldn’t think about it. Their women’s studies classes and mandatory sexual harassment seminars taught them that it was degrading to women.
Instead, they want me to recommend a suite with plasma TV’s and color-coordinated carpeting. They want me to get them nightclub passes and show them how the goddamn $20 trick works. The entire town has become an androgynous melting pot where, for all intents and purposes, the dudes are chicks and the chicks are dudes. Women now openly fart and men use words like “amazing” while getting pedicures in the Bellagio Spa.
You know you’re getting old when you are shaking your fist and railing about “the way things used to be in Vegas”. I used to roll my eyes at these very people, and I would always extend to them a warm welcome to the here and now.
I never thought that I would actually become one of them.
Now if you will excuse me, I have an uncontrollable urge to worship myself, choke a whore, punch a Picasso, and create an unwieldy flash-based website.
I guess what they say is true. One day we will all become that which we most despise.
Apparently, that day has arrived for yours truly.
Written by keith on November 17, 2009 at 3:55 am
no one wants to go to the tit shows anymore due to internet porn.
and i love the top of the marquee in the pic – “Ice: direct from russia” – i guess this was before the widespread use of freezers in vegas?
next month – “Sand – direct from Africa”
Written by Jane on November 17, 2009 at 3:11 pm
“The entire town has become an androgynous melting pot where, for all intents and purposes, the dudes are chicks and the chicks are dudes. Women now openly fart and men use words like “amazing” while getting pedicures in the Bellagio Spa.”
Haha! Sounds like my family get togethers, and include women belching to the list and most of the men do the cooking, setting, and cleanup. We women get a break from housework.
Written by Lisa on November 17, 2009 at 9:36 pm
My husband and I went to see the Legends show last year at the IP. We loved it! It was very well done.
I will be in town the first week of Dec with a woman who has never been to Vegas before, we plan to check it out again. The variety of music is good and the backing band is awesome! As always, love your take on things. Thanks!