Vegas T&A Stages a Comeback
April 23, 2009
As you can see from the sign, the “Sin City Bad Girls” are now playing at that sexy, raucous, and racy casino we all know and love … the uh …. wtf … Las Vegas Hilton?
Sin City Bad Girls at the Las Vegas Hilton
Sin City Bad Girls at the Las Vegas Hilton
Barry Manilow at the Las Vegas Hilton
You mean the place with blue hairs whacking away in Wheel of Fortune World after the Barry Manilow concert lets out?
Apparently, yes.
Okay, I kid. I love the Hilton and have for years, but a show of this name and type does sound a little more at home at the Hard Rock or Planet Hollywood. Still, it’s nice to see the Hilton trying to get down with its bad self. Elvis would be proud.
Given that it is a topless show, I will (obviously) see it in the near future.
Of note is that they took down the Star Trek sign at the same time they put up the Bad Girls sign. Where 40-year-old virgins weep, I rejoice. Life’s just not fair.
My favorite topless show is, and has remained Midnight Fantasy (turned Fantasy) for damn near a decade, but I welcome all challengers.
Earlier this month, we had yet another “erotic” show open. The name of this one is “PEEPSHOW”. It features Kelly Monaco and “Scary” Spice Girl, Mel B.
PEEPSHOW at Planet Hollywood Las Vegas
Rumor has it that Lindsay Lohan may be applying for a job in Peepshow. Remember, that is a rumor, so it may or may not happen, but I personally hope that it does not. I would probably feel a little weird ogling Lohan. I was already in my 30’s when she was doing Disney movies. I actually saw The Parent Trap and Freaky Friday.
Although spankability is a highly personal thing, I am generally not attracted to females who could theoretically be my daughters. Legally there is nothing wrong with people who do like Lohan, Shitney, etc, but it just feels kind of creepy to me. As far as eye candy goes 25-35 is the “sweet spot” for me. No pun intended.
Anything under 22 is creepy, and anything over 45 is gross. And I am being really generous with 45. No offense. Old chicks can be hot in their own way, I just have zero desire to look at them naked.
I assure you that I am not being a hypocrite. I will be 41 in two months and you won’t find me prancing around in a Speedo. Hell, I’m thinking about buying a wetsuit to wear in the shower just so I won’t have to look at myself. If my bid for Mayor is successful, I will pass a city ordinance banning the possession of spandex, bikinis, and banana-hammocks by anyone over 40 … with the possible exception of Phoebe Cates who I would still wiener-slap into a coma even if she was eighty seven. I would bottle that chick’s flatulence and wear it as cologne.
Menopause and ear hair is Mother Nature’s way of pointing at you and saying “ewwwwwww!”. Don’t fight it. Embrace it. You’ve had your run. Part of maturity is knowing when to bow out gracefully and move on with interests that don’t involve trying to have other people look at your ass. (Madonna)
There is nothing more cool than people just being themselves and being comfortable with who they are.
Enjoying Las Vegas
Enjoying Las Vegas
Enjoying Las Vegas
Enjoying Las Vegas
Enjoying Las Vegas
Enjoying Las Vegas
Enjoying Las Vegas
Enjoying Las Vegas
Enjoying Las Vegas
Enjoying Las Vegas
Enjoying Las Vegas
Enjoying Las Vegas
Enjoying Las Vegas
Enjoying Las Vegas
Enjoying Las Vegas
Enjoying Las Vegas
Larry King looks like the “king” of the toad trolls, but he’s smooth as hell and still gets all the fly bitches. Penn Jillette is as hideous as the day is long, but he’s considered one of the coolest dudes this town has ever seen.
Forget the toupees, wigs, and botox. If you need any of those things, you are way too old to be hot anyway. Fight poserdom. Embrace the disgusting wildebeest that most of us truthfully are. I love ugly people. The uglier the better. Ugly people are cool as hell … when they know they’re ugly. Otherwise it’s just sad.
What in the hell was I writing about anyway?
Jesus, I couldn’t stay on-topic if my life depended on it.
Oh yeah, I’m glad to see the nudie shows making a comeback. I think this is a good sign that Vegas is heading back in the right direction. Anyone who has been reading my articles for more than a month (all two of you … counting my mother) are well aware that one of my primary rallying cries for the past year has been the return of T&A.
I remember visiting here in 1999, and taking “What’s On” magazine into the MGM bathroom to fire one off before a night on the town. There were ads, ads, and more ads for skin shows until about 2005. Then one-by-one they began dying off. For some reason, they just completely fell out of favor.
We’ve still got some erotic shows left, Crazy Girls, Bite, Carrot Top, etc … but it is my firm (heh, I said “firm”) belief that every property should have at least one, and probably multiple topless shows.
In the last month, we have taken two steps in the right direction.
Here’s hoping that the trend continues.
Written by BigVinnie on April 23, 2009 at 10:01 am
love the T
Written by Pipeguy on April 23, 2009 at 10:30 am
LOL! hilarious article…thanks for existing rex, you brightened my day…. i kid you not.. i spewed a baby carrot i was eating when i read this: “…Phoebe Cates who I would still wiener-slap into a coma even if she was eighty seven. I would bottle that chick’s flatulence and wear it as cologne”…LMAO!!! and then the pic of the two fatsos walking on the strip behind two hot chicks….priceless…you can find the most beautiful chicks on the strip on any random summer day and also the ugliest, most deformed fatasses in america…dang…how can they let themselves go like that???!!! i am with you on Phoebe btw…she’s a super hot babe.
Written by SPRUNT on April 23, 2009 at 11:56 am
Rex, beautiful people can be cool too…. As long as they think they’re ugly.
Written by Michelle on April 23, 2009 at 12:28 pm
@Pipeguy It’s funny how I saw that same photo differently. I saw those really tanned women as the fake ones and not being themselves while the couple behind them didn’t care about the latest trends, makeup, brand names whatever, and were just having fun hanging out in Las Vegas w/ no pretense. I was relating it to Rex’s statements: “Don’t fight it. Embrace it. You’ve had your run. Part of maturity is knowing when to bow out gracefully and move on with interests that don’t involve trying to have other people look at your ass. (Madonna) Forget the toupees, wigs, and botox. If you need any of those things, you are way too old to be hot anyway. Fight poserdom. Embrace the disgusting wildebeest that most of us truthfully are. I love ugly people. The uglier the better. Ugly people are cool as hell … when they know they’re ugly. Otherwise it’s just sad.” Either way, great post and yeah, Vegas wouldn’t really be Sin City w/o T
Written by BigVinnie on April 23, 2009 at 1:04 pm
oooppps!… the majority of my original posting got lost in cyberspace… anyway, just noticed that the Star Trek Experience sign may be gone but the “United Federation of Planets” lapel pin/communicator thingie is still on the LV Hilton sign. I guess the new hotel owners don’t know anything about Star Trek, or that oval symbol on their sign. lol A true trekkie will recognize that symbol. Probably why they still get the occasional Klingon in the lobby asking for directions to the captains quarters. lol.
Written by Michelle on April 23, 2009 at 1:25 pm
@BigVinnie Weird, me too. Everything I typed after the ampersand disappeared. Looks like the same thing happened to you also. Oh well, I don’t even remember what I typed exactly. As Rex has said many times before, we need to bring back the Sin in Sin City, otherwise, what’s the point in going to Vegas.
Written by LittleVinnie on April 23, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Speaking of the Star Trek Experience, did anyone else see this story in the Las Vegas Sun:
http://www.lasvegassun.com/blogs/kats-report/2009/apr/17/new-phase-no-may-8-opening-star-trek-experience-ne/
Looks like the Star Trek Experience will NOT re-open on May 8th at Neonopolis…… well not just yet!
Looks like VegasRex will have to wait just a little longer to do his in-depth pictorial essay on the grand re-opening of his favorite Vegas attarction. Bummer.
Written by SlimJim on April 23, 2009 at 1:34 pm
I don’t know about you guys, but do all the people in those pictures look mighty “fat” to you? My gawwd! It’s true, Americans are the fattest people on the planet! Eeeeewwwww!
Written by BigVinnie on April 23, 2009 at 1:42 pm
@Michelle it’s Deja Vu all over again…. everything I type after the “and” sign got lost. hmmmmm… maybe VegasRex needs to check with his webmaster to fix that. lol… nevermind, I just re-submitted an abbreviated posting. Not as funny as the original, but to the point.
Written by briguyx on April 23, 2009 at 3:34 pm
Did Cirque kill off the topless shows? Let’s face it… any single guys that wanted to see topless women in Vegas would head for the Crazy Horse II (or be chasing chasing single women at the dance clubs that sprung up at every hotel in the hope of getting them topless), leaving topless shows for the husband and wife from Iowa to be naughty. But suddenly that wife would insist on seeing “Mystere” or “O.”
Written by tully on April 23, 2009 at 5:07 pm
A person can get face lifts and botox; color their hair and workout for hours every day. And none of it will do one thing to help a certain very visible body part— their hands.
Don’t believe me? Next time you see a photo of Madonna where her hands are showing, look closely. They are very much the hands of a 50-something year old woman. Nothing wrong with being 50 , but the mutton dressed as lamb look fools no one but the person trying to perpetuate an illusion they are still 25.
Doesn’t mean you can’t try to be fit and healthy, and you don’t have to dress like your grandma. I’ll wear jeans til I croak, but I’m not wearing low riders that show my ass (much to the relief of everyone around me—LOL.)
Written by desertrat on April 23, 2009 at 7:15 pm
I think Cirque had a strong role in decreasing the number of topless shows on the strip. They’ve overrun the show sector of the strip, but hopefully people will wise up and demand the Vegasy shows again. The shows mentioned in this article are definitely a step in the right direction.
I read somewhere that Madonna covers her entire body, including her hands and feet in some sort of lotion to keep her skin looking young. My mom is obsessed with moisturizing and stays out of the sun at all costs. The less work someone does with their hands, hard labor and such, would probably keep them looking younger I would think. Wasn’t that why royalty and the elite never did manual labor and shielded their skin from the sun? But the above poster is probably right, your hands will show your true age.
Written by tully on April 24, 2009 at 4:24 pm
Desertrat, a person loses the thin layer of subcutaneous fat on the back of the hands as they age. That allows the veins and tendons to show through the skin. Tends to show sooner on women, as they have thinner skin to begin with.
Plastic surgeons have tried injecting fat to “fix” that, but the procedure doesn’t work well.