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There is a particular disorder called SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), and it is well-documented in psychiatric literature.  The gist of this particular “illness” is that people become more depressed and lethargic in the winter due to a lack of sunlight.

I have the complete opposite of this.  I don’t want to leave the house when the sun is shining, and I am not exaggerating when I say that I would be fully content if it rained every day and the temperature never exceeded 65 degrees.  I would consider this to be the ideal climate.  I have searched high and low for a diagnosis of this “anti-SAD” condition, and I cannot find it described anywhere.  Apparently, I am the only person on the planet who suffers from it.  I feel significantly more discontent in the Spring and Summer, and slightly less suicidal in the Fall and Winter.

Given that it has rained for the last three days … absolutely perfect weather has gripped Las Vegas, and today I took full advantage of it.

I had to meet someone this morning (Jesus is in town to blow his birthday money) at the Flaming O, and instead of using motorized transit, I walked to the property from Rexville.  It was a pleasant walk with overcast skies and light drizzle.  After meeting with Mr. Christ and receiving him into my heart (which hurt a little when he passed through my rib cage), I turned around and headed back north on the Boulevard.

When I began passing O’Sheas, I once again walked past a large glass room, and I was informed by a show producer that the “snake man” was about to take questions from the public.

For those who are unaware, last Sunday, a man named Donald Schultz began living in a glass box between O’Sheas and Margaritaville.  He will live there until Tuesday, January 26th.

“Gee Rex, why is a man living in a glass box next to O’Sheas?  That sounds unusual.”

No, it’s actually quite logical.  You see, every day the man is in the box, they are going to add reptiles to the glass structure until the man is living with 100 snakes and … okay, the whole thing is a little weird.

Apparently, Animal Planet is filming a show called “Venom in Vegas”, and this is the official explanation:

“Sharing just a 16′ x 20′ enclosure, Donald Schultz will eat, sleep and drink among a wide variety of snakes including cobras, pythons and rattlesnakes, and do it all within the view of spectators and tourists. Schultz will start with 50 snakes and have five new snakes introduced each day until the count reaches 100. He will not know who his new roommates will be until opening each double-bagged snake as it is delivered. Schultz’s quarters will include a bed and tiny frosted-glass restroom, and will be outfitted with several big-brother style cameras.

The stunt will be filmed as part of a two-hour special edition of Animal Planet’s new series WILD RECON, slated to air Feb. 9, 8 p.m. ET/PT. WILD RECON premiered earlier this month and chronicles Schultz’s adventures as he attempts to get his hands on some of the most deadly animals on the planet. During his ten-day stay, Schultz will work with the reptiles, extracting venom that will later be shipped around the world and used for venom research. In addition to milking the venomous snakes, he’ll be conducting cutting-edge tests to measure the potency of venom, the depth of fang penetration and the strike range of the world’s fastest snakes. Some of Las Vegas’ own entertainers and brave media will enter the box to be a part of the action, outfitted in a specially designed “armored” suit.

O’Sheas Casino will host “Venom in Vegas” in the alley that sits between O’Sheas Casino and Margaritaville, directly across from Caesars Palace. Filming will be 24 hours a day and a schedule of educational presentations will be released later this week.

Animal Planet is launching the stunt as part of an effort to raise awareness of the 100,000 people that die from venomous snake bites each year.”

Eh?

I’m pretty sure that most people go out of their way to avoid being bitten by snakes already, so I kind of doubt that “awareness” is a problem in this area.  It’s kind of like raising awareness about jumping out of airplanes without parachutes.

Does it really need to be done?

It also may be a bad idea to prevent snake bites by showing a guy living with 100 poisonous snakes.  You know, a “do as I say, not as I do” kind of thing.

I’ll go on record as stating that I don’t 100% get it.

Basically Mr. Schultz is conducting snake research.  It’s very interesting research, and will probably be helpful to the world at large … I just don’t have the slightest clue as to why they are doing it on The Las Vegas Strip.  It seems to be something that is better confined to a laboratory or a zoological park.  The choice of venue is a tiny bit confusing, but hey, Vegas sells (see: The Hangover).

“Venom in Vegas” probably sounds better than “Venom on the 8th floor of St. Vincent’s Animal Research Center”, so hopefully it will work out ratings-wise.

As an unabashed “people person”, I made fast friends with the folks at Animal Planet.  As we waited for the Q&A session to begin, show staff were lining people up to ask questions of Schultz.

“Come on, this is America”, said one producer to the crowd, “you have the best and brightest minds here, certainly some of you have intelligent questions!”

I instinctively replied “You’ve clearly never been to Las Vegas before”.

This comment drew mean stares from pretty much everyone.

I shut up and walked on.

In all fairness, the snake tank (or whatever it’s called) is a cool idea, and kudos to the Animal Planet’s Wild Rincon show for giving something new a shot.  I watched the guy handle a few snakes, and I just generally observed the people in the crowd looking on.  Everyone seemed quite curious, and the attraction appears to be a good draw for passing pedestrians.

Personally, I just don’t know enough about snakes to have a huge personal opinion about them.  These creatures were not frequently encountered in Dupont Circle or Washington Square, and I’ve developed neither a fear nor an affinity toward the creatures.  I’ve pretty much only seen them in the zoo or around someone’s neck at Venice Beach, and the snakes have never bothered me.  I suppose I’m snake-neutral.

In any event, if you want to see a man live for ten days in a glass house filled with 100 poisonous snakes, O’Sheas is your place.

Not only can you observe the man/snake habitat, but at certain intervals throughout the day, you can ask questions of Schultz and he will answer your queries.  Producers will video your interactions, and will have you sign a release so that they can televise your questions.

Just make sure that whatever you ask is intelligent, because those are the only questions that Animal Planet will put on the air, preferably a question that doesn’t involve the “$20 Trick“.

Something tells me this is going to be the shortest episode in the history of television.

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