Casinoguide » Neighborhoods

The Road To Nowhere

Rex — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 02:06:58 +0000

North Las Vegas has always been a bit of an enigma to me.

Even though it is only about 3 miles north of where I live, it is the one municipality in the Las Vegas Valley which I visit least frequently.

North Las Vegas

The only times I typically go to NLV is to go to the airport and … well … that’s pretty much it. It’s the only airport I fly into and out of for recreation (the only alternative being Boulder City Airport), but there just isn’t much else to do on the far north side. At least not for me. For the most part, the place is out of sight, out of mind.

For the last couple of months, however, I have been forced to become more acquainted with North Las Vegas than I might otherwise wish to be.

In April, a family friend from back east moved to an apartment complex adjacent to Nellis Air Force Base and I’ve had to make many trips to the far reaches of Las Vegas Boulevard at the behest of this particular individual.

North Las Vegas - Nellis Air Force Base

Sometimes being the only Vegas resident a visitor knows has serious drawbacks, because you inevitably get the following phone call at least a couple times each month:

Me: “Hello?”
Slurring Idiot: “Yeah, ’sup homey it’s Steve Wynn. Hey listen, can you pick me up at Olympic Garden?”
Me: “What?”
Steve: “Look man, here’s the thing, apparently I owe the house like three hundred bucks or sumpin’ because I got talked into the VIP room by some skank who totally lowballed me, and I think they’re gonna hurt me if I don’t pay up. And here’s the other thing, I left my wallet at home and I took that Max thing ’cause I knew I was gonna drink, and I need some money and a ride home, can you help me out?”
Me: “You want me to bring you three hundred dollars and drive you back to f**king Nellis at 1am?”
Steve: “Yeah, man, I’ll pay you back … you should come over and check it out because they have this Asian chick working with like these huge titties and I think they’re real…”
Me: (click)
… ring …
Steve: “Hey man, we got disconnected, goddamn AT&T … so look, I’m at the Olympic Garden and they say I owe them some money ’cause …
Me: (click)
… ring … -> Voicemail
Voicemail: “Hey man, it’s Steve, I see what you mean about the iPhone, it can’t hold a phone call for shit, so look man, I’m in some real trouble here and I think there is a real possibility that I could die and I don’t know who else to call. You’re probably trying to call me back right now so I’ll hang up and wait for your call.”
NUMERIC PAGE: PLEASE CALL (718) XXX-XXXX Steve Wynn.
Text Message: Its steve I think somthg is wrg with my phone pls call me emergency!

Although names and details have been changed to protect the stupid, the above exchange is based on a true story. A story initiated by my friend who is now a North Las Vegas transplant. Have you ever noticed that people who work in and around the military have a higher-than-average propensity to get into trouble at strip clubs?

Even though I try my best to blow these types of things off (my motto is “if you ever need anything, feel free to ask someone else first”), I eventually relent when the situations become life and death. Except for that unfortunate incident with Jamie. I should never have let her take that complimentary Wynn Resort limo home.

Anyway, because of a new temporary resident, I have recently become familiar with every linear foot of North Las Vegas Boulevard, and now I know what Alice felt like when she entered the looking glass. To say the place is strange would be an understatement. It makes Rexville look like the set of a milquetoast John Hughes teenage comedy.

Picture this: You are driving along a nondescript stretch of road in what looks like the remote desert, and out of nowhere, a homeless guy pushing a grocery cart darts into the middle of the road, causing you to swerve and spare his life by inches. After pulling off the road and getting out of the car to assess the situation, you see a space-aged looking bus stop to pick up the man with the grocery cart.

“That’s odd”, you say out loud as a tumbleweed blows by, “why is there a George Jetson spacebus in the middle of the desert?”

North Las Vegas - MAX Bus Stop and MAX Bus

View from North Las Vegas Boulevard

“I don’t know”, says your friend, “but can you understand the words that are written on any of these signs?”

You look around to get your bearings, and you realize that no … no you cannot understand the words written on any of the signs. They are all in a foreign language.

North Las Vegas

As you are getting ready to get back into the car, two black helicopters buzz by your head so low that the wind from the rotors style your hair into a fruity Justin Bieber helmet-fro.

North Las Vegas - Two Black Helicopters

“We should probably get out of here”, you say, “I don’t feel comfortable in this place … besides, the fat guy in that lifted 1960 Chevy Truck is giving us a dirty look.”

North Las Vegas - Truck

You get back in the car and head north, praying that the black helicopters don’t mistake you for Osama Bin Laden, who is probably hiding in one of the nearby rundown motels.

Honestly, the North Boulevard is more bizarre than watching Zumanity on mescaline. It’s the weirdest mixture of urban grit and rural nothingness you are likely to find anywhere this side of Jupiter. For me, the most overtly strange thing about LVB North is the bus stops which are literally built in the middle of nowhere. I mean, other than a cactus farmer, who would get off at one of these things? There is just nothing around them.

North Las Vegas - MAX Bus Stop

In my dozen or so trips up and down this byway over the last several weeks, I have been trying to “get it”, but as of right now … I have not succeeded. The place is peculiar, and it makes me more than a little nervous.

There is one saving grace that almost makes the weekly trip worthwhile, however, and that is the view from the Nellis portion of the road. It’s both interesting and creepy at the same time, kind of like a Steve Jobs keynote address.

View from North Las Vegas Boulevard

If you have yet to visit this stretch of road, I would almost recommend it for the novelty factor alone. If your car breaks down, however, you’re on your own. I now keep my speed up, my doors locked, and my foot on the accelerator.

As for my friend who will be living here for six more months, well, I’m hoping that his next assignment will take him to some third-world, crime-riddled, gonorrhea-filled cesspool.

After being stationed in North Las Vegas, he deserves the upgrade.

North Las Vegas

Positive Creep

Rex — Wed, 26 May 2010 04:13:56 +0000

Yesterday, construction began on a brand new piece of art.

Paintbrushes by Dennis Oppenheim

This is a display which will adorn my own neighborhood, and it is expected to be completed in three months.

A short, mainstream explanation of the work-in-progress follows:

We already have the Bow and Arrow Motel, the Horseshoe, and the Silver Slipper along Las Vegas Boulevard North, as well as the Vegas Sign, Martini Glass, and more along East Fremont Street.

Now, another set of street installations is coming to the downtown area.

Las Vegas has commissioned artist Dennis Oppenheim to create a gateway to the Arts District in downtown Las Vegas.

His previous work consists of other outdoor installations around the world in locations including Lithuania; Kansas City, Missouri; Ventura, California; and Seattle’s Olympic Park.

The local project will display a pair of 45-foot-tall paint brushes angled in over the street. Each will be topped by a set of lights that will shine a rainbow of colors up to 1,600 vertical feet into the sky.

Oppenheim refers to the beams as paintbrush strokes “echoing an artist’s excursion into the unknown.”

Work on the foundation and infrastructure beings Monday. The $95,000 installations are set for completion in August.

After reading around, what I have learned is that there will be two paintbrushes … one at Charleston and Las Vegas Boulevard and the other at Charleston and Main Street. Frankly, I’ve never heard of the Dennis Oppenheim guy who was commissioned to make the display, but supposedly one of his other famous works is entitled “Village Around Piss Lake”, so you know he’s good. Face it, you’ve got to have mad skills to put excrement in the titles of your signature pieces.

Charleston and Las Vegas Boulevard

Charleston and Main Street

Orange Cones at Charleston and Las Vegas Boulevard

I dropped by the locations today to see if there was any hint of the brushes to be seen, but the closest thing I could find to progress was a cluster of orange traffic cones.

In any event, I am glad to see some more attention being given to Rexville. It is (arguably) the only “urban” neighborhood in Las Vegas which wasn’t built around intentionally misnamed stores such as “Anthropologie”. My home and most of those around me were built in the 1950’s, and anyone caught measuring the grass in our front yards would probably be summarily decapitated with an African circumcision sword (we all keep one under our pillow). Henderson and Summerlin can take that “HOA” shit and shove it in their orifice of least comfort. Of course I take 100% of the credit for all of the new attention that the neighborhood is getting, but this is because I am a self-centered prick.

Seriously, I am not sure what to make of this artwork. I’m glad to see more development hitting the area, but the giant paintbrushes sound kind of goofy. Then again, so did “The Summer of ‘69″ on Fremont last year. Because of this, I have learned my lesson, and I will withhold my opinion until I actually see the things in action.

While I am on the subject of Rexville, I would like to note a few things that effect the immediate neighborhood.

Last week, a reader wrote to the RTC with the following message:

So VegasRex the most famous Las Vegas Blogger on the net is once again unhappy with the ACE service. Check out the website: http://www.casinoguide.com/blogs/transportation/aces-cracked/ Bottom line is we want to know if the 3 dollar one way ACE pass has been removed and if so why would such a stupid decision be made? Thanks

He received the following response:

Hi Sam,

Thank you for your time and information. The RTC’s appreciates and welcomes the feedback of the customers, regarding their experiences using our transit system.

In an effort to accommodate the availability to purchase different fare media from the Ticket Vending Machines, The RTC temporary removed the $3 one way pass. Due to our concern for meeting the needs of the customers, on May 23rd the RTC will be restoring the $3 one way pass for sale through the TVMs.

Thank you.

On May 23rd, I walked over to the Stratosphere ACE Station, but there still was no $3 option.

Stratosphere ACE Station on May 23, 2010

Today, however, I stopped by both the Strat Station and the Arts District Station, and I am happy to report that the $3 2-hour pass is once again available for purchase. This means that I will again start leaving my car parked and will resume utilizing the ACE for all of my Vegas Strip, Rexville, and Downtown transit needs. Since I’ve no idea when the RTC will pull these shenanigans again, I’ll keep the gas tank in my car filled just in case … but if all goes according to plan, I won’t be a contributor to the layer of smog that shall lay over the entire Valley from June through October.

Arts District Station on May 25, 2010

Also, I bear arguably the greatest news to ever hit my neighborhood.

You see, for the last few months, I have been splitting my pizza ordering between Metro and Albo. Albo has always been good, but Metro has always satisfied my East Coast craving a little better, even though it incurred a 10 minute drive each way (up to 20 minutes in heavy traffic).

Today, all of that changed.

I ordered a large pepperoni from Albo, and when I got it home, I noticed that the pie looked different. Somewhat confused, I picked up a slice, took a bite, and I swear that my dick moved.

Apparently, not only does Albo’s pizza have a new look, but the recipe has also been significantly upped in quality. It was like there was a party in my mouth and everyone was invited. The Albo pie is now thinner, the sauce tastes better, the crust tastes better, and the toppings taste better. If I had to describe it with words, I would say that Albo is now Metro Pizza with a little less grease. It reminds me of my old favorite … Villa Pizza on Durango.

Albo's 18" Pepperoni Pizza

As of today, Albo is officially my current favorite pizza in all of Las Vegas. I may be slightly biased because it is the official pizza joint of Rexville, but I fed some of the pie to two guests who dropped by, and they both agreed with my assessment. I no longer have any reason to drive to Metro, and I can actually walk to my favorite pizza joint in the city. I’m sure those of you reading this could not care less, but to me, this is a huge development. Imagine your favorite food on the planet; now imagine the best place of that cuisine type opening adjacent to your home. Hell, I may never go grocery shopping again.

In my opinion, the Albo situation is also very good news for tourists. Instead of casino food court pizza, you can now take the ACE or Deuce Bus to Albo and get an 18″ single-topping pie for about $11. Since an 18″ will feed 3-4 people, I would consider Albo a great hangover alternative to places like the Hash House, Peppermill, or In-N-Out. Also, since your bus tickets are good for two hours, you can get off, eat, and continue on to Downtown or return to The Strip for three bucks per-person in transit costs. In Las Vegas, this combo is one hell of a deal.

In more local food news, the Naked City Sandwich shop seems to have taken things up a notch as well, delivering a much meatier signature sandwich to me on Saturday. Naked City and Albo are adjacent to each other, so if you are a budget-conscious tourist, the intersection of Las Vegas Boulevard and Oakey should be at the top of your list on your next trip. I’m not just saying this because they are local joints. I’m shooting you completely straight. They’ve both stepped up their game to the point where they are now worthy urban alt-indie-eateries, and the price/quality factor is superior to anything you can get on the Boulevard south of Sahara.

If you happen to go to either one, be sure to tell them that Rex sent you. Since they have no idea what my name is, the quizzical look on their faces should be an extra source of juvenile entertainment.

Christ, I sound like an advertisement, but you have to understand how rare it is to find something in Las Vegas that doesn’t completely suck. It’s like finding the Holy Grail with a metal detector in the sand next to the Coney Island boardwalk.

Anyway, while I tend to be a “glass half empty” kind of guy, sometimes I have to sit back and acknowledge the positive developments that happen in this town every now and then. With the new transit, new lighting, and new restaurants, it’s an interesting time to be a resident of Rexville. Don’t get me wrong, the place is still an armpit, but we’re moving in the right direction.

All things considered, it looks like Mick was right.

It’s true that you can’t always get what you want.

But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get a great f**king slice of pizza.

There Goes The Neighborhood

Rex — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 17:16:46 +0000

There is a long-running cat-and-mouse game around Rexville between our local gangbangers and the people who come behind them and clean up their crap.

Tagging on Las Vegas Neighborhood Sign

The bangers tag, it gets removed, the bangers re-tag, it gets removed, rinse and repeat. It never ends.

Why do the perpetrators do this?

My opinion is that they do it because they have the IQ’s of primates. I’m not exaggerating or using hyperbole. I honestly and truly think these taggers are people with extraordinarily low intelligence quotients. You would have to be extremely dim to get off on the type of defacement shown on the Beverly Green sign. It’s really just destruction for destruction’s sake, and the graffiti doesn’t even require any talent or artistic ability.

I appreciate burners in or near vacant properties and eyesores. One might even say that I am a bit of a graffiti connoisseur. I enjoy well-done urban artwork, and I think it can really add character to neglected areas of a neighborhood. I frequently stop and admire new pieces when they go up. Personally, I find most street artists to have superior levels of talent and creativity over their latte-sipping counterparts. There is usually more passion in endeavors not performed strictly for financial reward.

Graffiti in Downtown Las Vegas

Graffiti in Rexville, Las Vegas

Tags, caps, and slashes, however, are stupid. It’s common vandalism. It’s graffiti for people without talent or intellect. It’s shorthand for “here stood a parasitic moron”.

Slashing over new signs is not even a legitimate endeavor in the graffiti community. It shows a complete deterioration of the honor-among-thieves ethos that used to be shared by the artists. The understanding among real artists used to be that you never wrote over higher quality work with lower quality work. It was a sign of disrespect not only to the canvas, but also to yourself. When you did this, you more or less conceded that you were a talentless piece of shit, and you were treated accordingly by the community.

At least that’s the way it used to work. People are proud of being talentless imbeciles now.

These neighborhood signs are not legitimate targets of tagging. They are being maintained, and they have not fallen into disrepair. They have been erected for the benefit of the residents. A lot of time, work, and money went into the beautification of the medians and the stone signs that adorn them. These signs are efforts made by the city and the neighbors to make the area look nicer, and most everyone likes them. As such, graffiti here makes no sense. Especially scrawling, illegible nonsense that makes the perpetrator look like a retard. This is why “legitimate” graffiti artists will forever be maligned in the public psyche. There is a distinction between being rebellious and just being pointless, and the current generation is unable to differentiate the two.

What possible statement could this have made? At whom was it targeted? Even if you are disenfranchised, what does it do?

Tagging on Las Vegas Neighborhood Sign

Tagging in Downtown Las Vegas

Tagging in Rexville, Las Vegas

Tagging on Palm Tree in Downtown Las Vegas

Unfortunately, this type of stuff reflects poorly on the neighborhood, and it’s part of the reason that the government often has contempt for the governed. This type of vandalism is visual reinforcement to folks in the suburbs who bristle at the idea of providing services to the inner-city. Much like the erection of these signs, it’s seen as waste of money. It won’t be appreciated.

Too many people in economically depressed areas shit where they eat and can’t take care of anything. As such, they deserve nothing. Trying to do anything nice for areas infested by gangs of illiterate subhumans is pearls before swine.

Anyway, unlike the “Welcome to Las Vegas” sign, these local signs are actually in Oscar Goodman’s jurisdiction. It would actually be appropriate for him to show his outrage … even though the mainstream press may not be beating down his door for a soundbite.

Those of us here in the neighborhoods are still waiting for the “Off With Their Heads!” press conference.

I hereby offer to operate the guillotine.

Away From It All

Rex — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 05:47:53 +0000

It rained more in Vegas last week alone than in all of 2009, and even though the “storms” here are laughable by East Coast standards (our heaviest day of flooding was caused by .89 inches of rain), the precipitation still left a nice coating of snow on the mountains.

Since Sunday is the day of the week with the least amount of traffic in the Vegas Valley, we took advantage of the relatively empty roads and cool temperatures to spend a day in Red Rock and the adjacent canyon.

The trip is actually a pretty easy drive from The Arts District. You simply head west on Charleston Boulevard and 25 minutes later … there you are. Believe it or not, Charleston is the precise road that takes you from Sunrise Manor, to Rexville, to Red Rock Canyon. If you can catch favorable light timings (which I never do), the trip can actually be made in roughly 15 minutes.

Shortly after passing the Red Rock Casino we entered the canyon and were greeted with some of the nicest natural scenery that Nevada has to offer.

Red Rock Casino

Red Rock Canyon

Spring Mountain Ranch State Park

Red Rock Canyon

Wild Burro at Red Rock Canyon

In addition to simply looking around, the canyon also offers one of my other favorite natural attractions, and that is the wild burros. These typically-gentle creatures roam the area in search of food and copulation.

Last month, the BLM (Bureau of Land Management) began rounding up these creatures in an effort to relocate them. Because of this, there are noticeably fewer animals to be seen. The BLM claims that the canyon is becoming overpopulated with the animals, and that the burros are in danger of starving to death — therefore, the agency is spending nearly $400,000 to have them relocated and/or adopted.

Is this the right thing to do?

Frankly, I do not know. There were protests over this project last month, but unfortunately I am not educated enough on the specifics of burro habitats to draw a conclusion and be able to defend it. I hope the BLM is doing the right thing, but I fear they are not. My inclination is that if the four-legged animals thrived in the canyon for thousands of years, then the habitat is more than suitable for them, but our benevolent government always knows best … so who am I to question their motives

The burros tend to gently beg for food from humans, and it is technically illegal for us to feed them (it is a $25 fine). Many people ignore this rule. As a matter of fact, here I am in a photograph today giving the burro one of the two whole grain bars I brought for lunch. If someone from the BLM wants to email me a ticket, I’ll gladly pay it.

Wild Burro at Red Rock Canyon

If the Bureau’s position is that the animals in the canyon are starving, then the creatures are more than welcome to whatever food I have on me if they come up and “ask” for it. If the BLM says they are hungry, I take them at their word. Being cited for feeding a hungry animal is something I can live with.

The other stated problem with feeding the burros is that they will come to trust humans, but by the time a lone adult burro actively seeks you out, it’s fair to say that this cat is already out of the bag.

After watching my lunch date wander off in search of more sustenance, I hopped back in the car and headed for Blue Diamond.

Bonnie Springs Ranch

Entrance to Blue Diamond, Nevada

Welcome To Blue Diamond, Nevada

Blue Diamond is a place I discovered quite by accident toward the former half of the decade. I headed the wrong direction trying to get back into Vegas, and ended up passing a small village which openly advertised its relationship with the local burro population.

Located about 20 miles west of Las Vegas, Blue Diamond is a minuscule town of 282 people, and it’s one of the smallest self-contained villages I’ve personally encountered in the USA.

The town has a post office, an elementary school, a general store (with slot machines of course), and it looks like a throwback to Mayberry. It almost reminds me of a movie set. Since cops like to live away from the people they interact with on a daily basis, the percentage of police officers residing in this town is high. Blue Diamond is also a frequent stop for bicyclists who use Red Rock Canyon as a training location. This place is so strangely isolated, that you don’t feel like you are near a major population center of 2 million people. It seems as if you are literally hundreds of miles away from the traffic, crime, and chaos of Vegas.

I like to stop and hang out in the park just to get away from it all. It’s very relaxing, and it’s a great place to kick back without being bothered … while not having to resort to hiking into a remote desert area. Cellphone service is decent, which also makes it an ideal place to take care of some business.

Blue Diamond, Nevada

Blue Diamond Four Square Church

Blue Diamond, Nevada

Blue Diamond Post Office

Blue Diamond, Nevada

Blue Diamond Library

Blue Diamond, Nevada

Blue Diamond Bike Outpost

Blue Diamond Private Park

Blue Diamond Memorial

Blue Diamond Village Market

Blue Diamond Sheriff's Department

Inside The Blue Diamond Village Market

Blue Diamond, Nevada

Blue Diamond Gas Station

Blue Diamond Elementary School

Leaving Blue Diamond, Nevada

About Blue Diamond, Nevada

Overall, this was a very pleasant Sunday. It’s not often that I get further than one or two miles from Las Vegas Boulevard, but sometimes it’s a nice change of pace. No porn racks, nobody asking me for money every five seconds, no graffiti, no cops looking to clobber the first person they encounter. Don’t get me wrong, I like the area from the Mandalay Bay to the El Cortez, but it can get a little overwhelming everyday for months in a row.

The proximity of Rexville to Red Rock Canyon is one of those things that make living in Las Vegas slightly less painful.

The Canyon is fine to visit during the Summer, but in my opinion, it’s twice as nice during the winter months.

If you have yet to make the trek between November and March … I highly recommend giving it a shot.

If you do go, remember, do not feed the burros.

Especially don’t feed them apples or whole grains.

They love the stuff, and if there is anything we will not stand for in Nevada, it’s an uppity well-fed burro with enough caloric energy to outrun the BLM.

Life is a Byway

Rex — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 07:48:46 +0000

My love/hate relationship with Las Vegas means that I get homesick quite a bit.

Frankly, I hate the desert with a passion, and were it not for the casinos, entertainment venues, the weird “character” that makes up Vegas, and a few other intangibles … I wouldn’t be here.

Save for the areas within three miles on either side of Las Vegas Boulevard, the Boulder Highway corridor, Sunrise Mountain, and a few choice neighborhoods scattered about … the Valley kind of sucks.

Hell, now that I’ve read that last sentence, I may make it my mayoral campaign slogan.

Aside from the neighborhoods that have been around for decades, Las Vegas is the world’s largest 7/11.

Strip mall, strip mall, gas station, wall, gate, wall, strip mall, porn rack, car dealership, strip mall, rinse and repeat.

I didn’t always live in this one spot. At one point I lived in the luxurious “Lakes” area on the West Side, and I could feel myself dying just a little bit each day. It was just awful. The best memory I have of the place is biking to Desert Breeze Park and paying $6 to see a Collective Soul gig.

Aside from that, the most interesting thing that happened was “a big truck went by”.

After escaping what can only be described as purgatory on Earth, I moved into a hi-rise one block from The MGM Grand, then moved to a location near the Las Vegas Convention Center, and finally landed in my current location.

Now, I’m not going to lie or try to polish a turd. My current neighborhood is an armpit … but it’s my favorite neighborhood of which I have lived in Vegas.

I have friends and acquaintances in all corners of the Valley whom I visit with some regularity, and I have personally sampled just about every type of residential setting offered here so that I have many frames of reference.

I know that this place isn’t for everyone, or even most people, but it’s the only place where people don’t look at me as if I’m a freak.

Don’t get me wrong, it can be a daunting and depressing place at times. I’ve put security measures in place at home, I club the Porsche steering wheel, and I’m always watching my back to the very real possibility of being forcibly robbed, but the exact same safety problems are had by people who live in such places as the East Village and they aren’t fleeing it.

There’s no free lunch, no place is perfect, and safety is far and away our Achilles’ heel. The area also looks like ass.

That being said, the location is damn hard to beat. 5 minutes to Fremont Street, 5 minutes to the Bellagio (traffic permitting), sub $10 cab rides to just about anywhere, one of the highest percentages of people who don’t drive to work, weirdos everywhere, plentiful mass transit, no HOA nonsense, and one of the strongest sense of neighborhood I have seen anywhere in the Southwest.

As much as I like the place, I still have to leave every now and then to maintain my own sanity. If you consider what I am now “sane”.

Anyone who is satisfied solely with what Las Vegas has to offer is not someone I would want to be around for more than two or three minutes … if that. You would have to be as easily amused as a newborn puppy and have the intellectual capacity of a grapefruit if you were mentally satiated solely with what lies within Clark County.

This is also the smallest city in which I have ever lived, and I get a bit starved for non-gaming stimuli at times. If you come from a small town, Vegas might hold your interest just fine for longer periods of time. If you’ve lived in New York, San Francisco, Chicago, or any other large city, you will feel claustrophobic. I can almost guarantee it. Vegas is every bit an island, we’re just surrounded by sand instead of water.

Las Vegas really is a place you have to leave on a periodic basis to appreciate. When you live here 24/7/365, it becomes easy to forget that there are actually people who exist in the world that know how to make change for a dollar, and who speak the dead language once known as “English”.

When I can’t get back to New York or DC, it’s not unusual for me to hop a quick flight to Seattle or Portland, even if it’s only for a 24 hour stay. This is just enough time out of the Southwest to purge the stench of death from my rotting soul.

A few days after coming back, I once again culminate a base level of hatred which slowly but steadily rises until I press the ‘reset’ button by leaving again.

The process sounds ridiculous, but it works for me.

Without fail, however, on the way back to Vegas, I always get eager when I first see the Valley lights in the distance. I’ve gotten good enough now that if we are landing on one of the “19” runways, I can pick out my home almost immediately (actually it’s not hard with such a huge landmark), and I’ve been known to excitedly point to the Stratosphere and say “Do you see that space needle building? I live under that thing!”

It sounds obnoxious, but after having to endure at least three “Vegas, Baby!”s or similar cliche’s per flight, I feel I’ve earned my 5 seconds of nuggetry.

When I grab a cab or get picked up from the terminal, I always breathe a little easier when I arrive back to my own little slice of crap.

It’s not much, but it’s home.

I do, however, wish it had a name.

“Naked City”, “The Arts District”, “Downtown”, “18b”, “Chapel Row”, “That s*thole near the Stratosphere” … we answer to many names chiefly because we have no consistent moniker to call our own.

The LVMPD considers everything north of Sahara Ave. to be “Downtown”, but the truth of the matter is that we are caught someplace in-between.

Were The Strip and Downtown to have a bastard lovechild, my neighborhood would be that offspring. We share vague characteristics of each, but we’re not quite either. We have an almost pathological lack of identity, and I hope that it is one day cured.

As a matter of fact, I am going to petition the City Council to have the entire area officially renamed to “Rexville”. I’m serious. I’ll let you know how that works out.

In any event, it appears that myself and my neighbors are not the only people who appreciate this urban/residential/industrial wasteland.

After nine years of lobbying, word has come that Las Vegas Boulevard between Sahara Ave. and Washington Blvd. (the northern end of Downtown) has officially been designated a “scenic byway”.

The Boulevard south of Sahara has already been designated a scenic byway for quite some time, and this move by the Federal Highway Administration now brings us into parity with the traditional Las Vegas Strip.

What does this mean?

The hell if I know, but it sounds cool.

The Administration was finally swayed because our 3 1/2 mile stretch of asphalt “has importance in Las Vegas’ development and the vintage neon on hotels and wedding chapels [makes] the boulevard one of America’s more unique streets.”

Is this nonsensical municipal marketing gibberish?

Of course it is, but screw it, it still sounds F’ing cool.

There is one tangible benefit, though.

Now that it’s official, the Neon Museum will stretch the vintage neon sign program from the Neon Boneyard all the way south to Sahara Ave. This means that I may very well get a really cool nightlight, and the neighborhood may eventually look slightly less foreboding to ice cream-loving Indian girls.

I’m not sure exactly which sign we are going to get on this end of the Boulevard, but I’m crossing my fingers for a marquee from an old brothel, or at the very least, a house of burlesque.

In any event, it’s nice to see the area getting a bit more recognition. Hopefully we’ll get a real name as well.

It’s still not a viable tourist destination. Crime is still too high and there isn’t all that much to do from a visitor’s perspective once you get here … but life is a series of small victories, and goddammit, this is one of them.

We’re finally on the freaking map.

Rexville represent!

Ghetto Custard

Rex — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 02:03:49 +0000

It’s not often that I get embroiled in a Hollywood celebrity scandal (and honestly, that’s not really what’s happening now) … but somehow … someway … I was way ahead of the curve on this one.

Luv-It Frozen Custard

If the one and a half of you who read my articles may remember, I mentioned going to Luv-It Frozen Custard a couple of times in yesterday’s post. Not only did I mention it, I did indeed, go.

This morning I woke up to a few emails in my inbox regarding this establishment. Apparently, my blog comments foreshadowed a controversy surrounding this very custard stand.

Before going any further, I need to make it crystal clear that I am not exaggerating when I say that I do not own a television.

I honestly do not. I have not had a television in approximately two years.

I do stream certain shows and events via YouTube, Hulu, etc … but I really have no idea what is going on in the world of mainstream entertainment as a whole. I kind of bowed out of popular culture and stopped paying attention to it about 5 years ago. I hadn’t even heard of Taylor Swift until her little tiff with Kanye West screamed across news headlines, and I’ve yet to hear a single Jonas Brother’s song.

At 13 years old, I was already getting pummeled in the pit at Bad Brains and Minor Threat shows. I don’t understand the tutti-fruity s**t the kids listen to today, and I’ve never seen 90% of the TV shows that most people make reference to.

Ironically, one of the few modern shows I am familiar with is “The Office”. I was in LA during the pilots and I was part of a focus group that got to see it before it went to prime time.

It’s a fine show for what it is … a mainstream sitcom, and I don’t really have anything particularly insightful to say about the show itself.

What does have the city abuzz, however, is a remark made by one of the characters from the show.

Apparently, I am not the only one who has been to Luv-It Frozen Custard lately. Mindy Kaling, the Indian chick (dot not feather) who plays Kelly in “The Office” also made a recent trip to the stand.

Luv-It Frozen Custard

She relayed her trip to Craig Ferguson while she was a guest on his television show, saying “We went to this frozen custard place in I believe the most dangerous and sketchy neighborhood I’ve ever been to in my entire life”.

She went on to say that she saw drug addicts, a man without pants, murderers, and undercover cops.

View the video for yourself here:

Here’s the thing … I live in this neighborhood.

As a matter of fact, I walk to Luv-It all the time. I also walk to Dino’s, The Stratosphere, The Sahara, First Friday, 7-11, Walgreens, and the White Cross Pharmacy.

Las Vegas Boulevard near Beverly Green/Southridge

This particular actress did not imply, rather she outright called the area in which I dwell “The most dangerous and sketchy neighborhood I’ve ever been to in my entire life.”

Am I offended like some of my geographic peers?

Of course not.

Why?

First of all, she’s not necessarily wrong. We don’t know where she’s been. Compared to Glendale or Santa Monica, we probably are “sketchy”.

The slab of pavement between Luv-It and Olympic Garden is a well-known place to buy street drugs. One of the dealers has taken a real liking to my dog, and I always have to stop and let him rub my mutt’s stomach when I walk him north on the Boulevard. The dealers don’t bother me, but I can see how someone like Kaling might find them disconcerting.

Parking Lot between Luv-It and Olympic Garden

LVB and Oakey

After the sun goes down, the area is pretty rough. While I was putting gas in my Porsche the other night at the 7-11 at Oakey and LVB, a large, disheveled black guy began yelling at me from the nearby bus stop. His exact words were “Hey white motherf**ker, I’m going to kill you”.

Fortunately, he was just nuts, and he didn’t kill me … although how he found out about my mother and I, I’ll never know.

This is also a huge prostitution area, and many of my neighbors actually participate in the trade. I see them all day, every day … and more so at night. You can always find a streetwalker at the corner of LVB and St. Louis, and everyone knows it.

Half a Block from St. Louis and Las Vegas Blvd.

St. Louis and Las Vegas Blvd.

I’ve seen people getting blown behind dumpsters, I have to step over used condoms quite often, I’ve seen numerous police sweeps, I see helicopters with spotlights circling the area at least once a month, and I get panhandled on a daily basis.

There is gang graffiti everywhere, as well as shoes tossed over telephone lines.

The area centered around LVB and Charleston has a violent crime rate 11.7 times that of the national average, and overall crime is 12.1 times that of the national average. Statistically, we are well within the definition of “dangerous”.

Neighborhood Gang Graffiti

LVB and Charleston Properties

LVB and Charleston Property

Even as a resident, I will fully concede that the area around Luv-It is not that great. I’ve lived at 14th and Florida in DC, 138th and Brook in the Bronx, and adjacent to “Skid Row” in Los Angeles.

This is most definitely not “the most dangerous and sketchy neighborhood” I’ve ever been to, but it’s far from the best.

Assuming Kaling is reasonably sheltered, she very well may have been telling the truth.

Among the people who are upset over her comments are several “professional” (as in occupation) residents of the neighborhood. Some of them are actually calling for a boycott of the show (thus depriving us all of seeing Dwight’s latest hi-jinx).

My “professional” neighbors have been quoted in the local newspaper as saying that the neighborhood has a large number of long-time, quality residents. They have stated that the neighborhood has a strong sense of community. This is also very true. Our area is made up of people from all walks of life, most of the people are good yet weird, and it’s fairly cohesive.

In my opinion, the positives of this neighborhood far outweigh the negatives. This is why, despite all the drawbacks listed above, I am very fond of the place. So fond that I decided to live here. I think it is the greatest neighborhood in all of Las Vegas, and I would not want to live anywhere else in the city.

This doesn’t mean, however, that I am oblivious to the risks and realities. I liked DC and New York as well, but I took reasonable precautions, and I would never have advocated that someone naïve to the area walk to my home at night.

On the whole, I think that some of my neighbors are being dishonest assholes. They are spewing bullsh*t for the sake of property values. As a matter of fact, one of the “outraged” people is a realtor who sells properties in the area.

While those in groups will almost certainly be fine, it is patently irresponsible to inform rural and suburban tourists that walking from The Stratosphere to Luv-It is a safe endeavor. While we think it’s fine because we are familiar with the area, this place does look foreboding to outsiders.

Failing to understand why the Kaling lady felt as she did is intellectually dishonest. The so called “professionals” who stepped up to decry the comments are either lying for the publicity, or they are just outright perceptually deficient.

While I traverse the stretch of road nearly every day, I can certainly understand how Las Vegas Boulevard from Baltimore to Fremont could look foreboding to someone from out of town. Especially after dark.

If my fellow residents cannot see that, then they are clearly not being objective.

For Christ’s sake, Luv-It Custard is only a few blocks from Naked City. Would anyone encourage tourists to patronize that area as well? Please, be reasonable.

Sure, we have plenty of nice homes mixed in with the dumps, but all of the nice homes in my area have gates around the outside, bars on the windows, and guard dogs in the yard.

Trust me, none of the neighborhood “professional” yapping heads would leave their front door unlocked at night.

Aside from the custard stand, I’m not even sure how much face-time they actually get with the area.
Believe me when I tell you this and take it to the bank … it’s very, very, very rare to see “white professionals” walking around my neighborhood sidewalks after dark. Hell, they are hardly around during the day. As a matter of fact, as I type this, a man is pushing a shopping cart underneath my window and is stopping to dig through bags of trash. I haven’t seen a white “professional” walk by in the last hour.

I have, however, seen plenty of nice, shiny, expensive cars drive by in the same amount of time. 99% (if not more) of the “professionals” in the community drive out of the neighborhood in the morning, drive home in the evening, pull into their driveways, shut the gate, and do not emerge again until the next morning. They bunker down. The people who swear that the area is “safe”, are the people who see the neighborhood at 25mph or greater.

Beverly Green-Southridge Neighborhood

From 11pm to 5am, I would need a scorecard to count the number of prostitutes that walk by my home. To count the “professionals”, I wouldn’t even need my hand … I could count them on my penis (of which I have three).

I believe that these neighborhood “advocates” (for lack of a better word) are overstating their own experience on the local streets, and are being less than forthright with their assessments. I would be willing to bet that I spend far more time actually walking these streets than they do.

Maybe the comment hit a little too close to the truth. People are always angriest if they think a comment has merit.

For example, if I were to say that Summerlin was a place where wild buffalo run loose in the streets, presenting a hazard to everyone nearby … nobody would take offense. They don’t have any inkling that it’s true and they would present no defense to my claim.

However, were I to say that Summerlin was full of xenophobic California ex-patriot douchebags who are upside-down in their mortgages, I would prepare for an angry response.

The truth hurts. At least a little.

Will anything bad happen to you if you walk from the Stratosphere to Luv-It?

It’s quite unlikely, but the probability of it happening here is 1,000 times higher than taking a walk of similar length in Santa Barbara.

I’m far more offended by the faux-outrage of my friends and neighbors than I am of the actress.

When you feel the need to defend our neighborhood from the comments of a bit player in a goddamn sitcom, you make us all look like delusional idiots.

I like our neighborhood. It’s the greatest neighborhood in all of Las Vegas. It’s one of the only real neighborhoods in the State of Nevada. But … it’s an urban neighborhood, and by west coast standards it’s absolutely an inner-city neighborhood. With that designation, you have to take the bad with the good.

We’re not The District, and Mindy Kaling would not feel comfortable hanging out here.

I don’t personally consider this a bad thing.

Neither should you.

Besides, the homies are already on the lookout should she come back.

Beverly Green Welcome Sign

Beverly Green-Southridge represent, Biyatch!

Skid Row of Vegas

Rex — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 01:34:17 +0000

In another installment of the “neighborhood series”, I decided to hit one of the places that few tourists know about, and frankly, most of Las Vegas wants to keep it that way.

That fact of the matter is, yes Virginia … Las Vegas does have a Skid Row.

Skid Row in Las Vegas

Neighborhoods like Skid Row are not unfamiliar to me at all. I’ve lived in mostly urban areas for my entire life, and I actually lived “on” Skid Row in Los Angeles for a number years, and my rapport with the surrounding community was actually quite good.

While I did not live in a tent on the street myself, many years ago I was able to procure a “loft” (a/k/a the corner of an old 1920’s office building converted to residential use) on the East Side of Downtown LA for a monthly cost that was practically free.

Skid Row in Los Angeles

Businesses Near Skid Row in Los Angeles

Coming from the East Coast, I thought the owners of the building were crazy for letting such large units go for such an insanely low price. I was within walking distance to every major subway line, Pershing Square, Broadway, Grand Central Market, and much of Los Angeles was mine for the taking without having to climb into an automobile.

The same unit would have cost me three times as much in such undesirable places as Port Morris in The Bronx.

It was around this time that I became baptised into the Southwest lifestyle. Not West Coast, but Southwest.

While prices in Seattle, Portland, and San Francisco generally rose the closer one got to the urban core, the converse was true in Southern California.

In Los Angeles, prices were almost wholly regulated by distance or barriers from the undesirables. Malibu and Mulholland trumped Downtown or Central Hollywood even though they were generally a pain in the ass to get to and were prone to mudslides and floods. LA was all about seclusion.

When I moved to Las Vegas, I quickly found the city to be more or less Los Angeles … with more casinos and far more hostile weather. The blueprint for both cities was similar. Build exclusive fringe suburbs to isolate the haves from the have-nots in a pattern of urban reversal.

Demonize the central city, and sell people on the concept of white folks, strip malls, shopping malls, and walls as some type of desert nirvana.

Of course, nobody wanted to say as much, so elaborate fake cities and even fake minorities were built in these fringe areas to assuage the hipster fears of these new residents.

“Can I still vote Democrat?”, they wondered.

“Yes you can!” was the resounding answer from developers as they flooded these areas with healthy and “earth-friendly” stores such as Whole Foods, and stores with intellectually misspelled names such as “Anthropologie”.

Never mind that Green Valley is as white as West Virginia, you can’t possibly be a redneck if there is a “P.F. Chang’s China Bistro” within a 5 minute drive.

People sometimes ask me why I dislike places like “The District”, and that is why. It’s a half-assed, guilt-free attempt to convince suburban folks that they are anything but, while encouraging sprawl, and promoting flight from the actual city while leaving it to decay. These developments are hotbeds of hypocrisy as so-called “progressives” gather and promote their ideals sufficiently cushioned from the harsh realities of real “diversity”.

“But Rex, people should be free to live where they want.”

This is true, and they are free to live there. That being said, I should also be free to hate those places.

I watched for decades as my hometown became a clusterfornication of satellite cities and it now has some of the worst traffic in the nation with a deteriorating urban core which is soiled, and thrown away like a morning maxi-pad by millions of daily commuters who give their tax money to jurisdictions in Virginia and Maryland. It’s also why I will never, ever acknowledge those people as “Washingtonians”.

If you abandon it (or worse, never lived there in the first place), it’s no longer yours.

I digress …

When I first got here, I noticed another similarity that Las Vegas shares with Los Angeles. A sizable homeless population complete with its very own Skid Row.

Skid Row in Las Vegas

North Las Vegas One Block Away

There was one notable difference. Vegas’ Skid Row is almost out of the city limits. Locally referred to as the “homeless corridor” or “Tent City”, the area is centered around Foremaster Lane and is one short block from the city of North Las Vegas.

Foremaster lane has been in the news recently as Metro PD has been tasked with “taking back the area”. They have been erecting barriers along surrounding streets preventing folks from erecting new tents, and they are trying to completely eliminate the tent city that does still exist.

Barriers Along Surrounding Streets

Homelessness is yet another skeleton in the closet of Vegas.

Las Vegas has an estimated 13,000 homeless people, which for a city of 560,000, makes us #1 per capita in the USA.

D.C. comes in a distant per-capita second at 6,000 homeless (at 581,000 people), and in 2007, Nevada as a whole had the second highest homeless population per-capita, trailing only the city of Washington DC.

This is something that you don’t see in the slick promotional ads.

Now, I get crap quite often for writing about these things.

“Tourists don’t want to see the gloom and doom side of Vegas.”

Perhaps the critics are right, but this is every bit as “real” a part of Las Vegas as the glimmering casinos. You can get the slick, shiny s**t in ten thousand other places, but if you want to see what goes on behind the facade, the choices narrow significantly.

This is where I sometimes come in … to the chagrin of many.

This is the truth, and this is what’s real. I like the beautiful side of Las Vegas as much as the next person, but I’m not a promotional arm of the city. In addition to the Blackjack tables, swimming pools, strip clubs, and shows … this is exactly what I see on a daily basis living here.

I think it’s necessary for people to see. Especially locals in more fringe areas.

R&R partners (the LVCVA’s contracted advertising arm) has received $400 million over the last five years for such gems as “Your Vegas is Showing” and “Take a Break”.

That’s almost $31,000 for every homeless man, woman, and child in Las Vegas.

Perhaps the homeless don’t “deserve” four hundred million dollars in taxpayer money, but in all honesty, neither does R&R. I have zero doubt that I could have put ten homeless people in a room and come up with an entire slew of superior slogans over the last 5 years.

Say what you want about the disadvantaged being a drain on taxpayer resources, but corporate welfare and government employment (another nice name for “welfare”) is a far, far larger drain on your paycheck than the homeless will ever be.

In any event, Metro PD is on a mission lately. Exactly what kind of mission is not exactly clear. They have been busting prostitutes on The Strip for the better part of the year, they recently busted a strip club, and also raided a topless pool at the Rio a week ago. They have been doing everything possible to take the “sin” out of “sin city” and now they are aggressively pursuing the homeless.

Exactly what the end game is … I do not know, but what I do know is that the overall crime rate in the neighborhoods seem to be increasing while law enforcement appears to be preoccupied with an agenda all its own.

As Metro continues to push people out of their homeless encampments, the question arises as to where the people will go.

In my opinion, disrupting our Skid Row is counterproductive. Its current location is out of sight of the “progressive people” in the valley, and even farther out of sight of the average visitor. Most of our tourist population is still blissfully unaware of our seedier underbelly. As the present location is centered around a myriad of social service buildings, it seems to be the perfect place for those without a home to camp.

Skid Row in Las Vegas

Las Vegas Social Services

Las Vegas Community Center

Las Vegas Employment Center

Las Vegas Catholic Charities

Nearby Portable Toilets

Dismantling this city-within-a-city only increases the chances that the displaced will encroach upon the areas trodden by the more privileged, and if that happens, I don’t think the city will have anyone but itself to blame.

I stopped and spoke with a few campers on Foremaster, and in between being asked for spare change, I was told tales of hyperthermia in 115 degree weather, and rampant police abuse.

“They would put us to sleep like the dogs in the animal shelter”, one lady told me, “they don’t even see us as human”.

I asked one man where he would go, and he said “I don’t know, do you have any suggestions?”

“The Wynn has one hell of a parking garage”, I said, “and I’ll tell you another thing, the bathrooms in the Encore are second to none.”

“Steve Wynn is a mother$*#%er”, another gentleman said as he took a swig from a brown paper bag.

It was hard to argue with him. Just because people are homeless does not mean that they aren’t bright.

I laid out a scenario in which the Encore bathrooms would be perfectly sufficient studio apartments, complete with AC, running water, and maid service, and this invoked a few smiles.

I was not trying to make fun of their situation, belittle, or ridicule them. Sometimes, all you have is levity, and if you simply treat people like people, you can have a good laugh with them regardless of their lot in life. There are millions of people in this country one paycheck or one medical bill away from a tent on Foremaster, and they all have hopes, dreams, wishes, personalities, and yes … even senses of humor.

I wish I had the ability to help the folks on the row, but the issue is far bigger than I am. There are a lot of bad things in the world, and the vast majority of them are far out of the average person’s control.

As I took my leave of the area, I pondered what would become of the people here.

I actually imagined a gigantic tent city forming overnight in the Encore garage, and I laughed to myself as I pictured Steve’s reaction.

I wondered if he would kick them out, or if he would instead walk around the garage critiquing the new resident’s color choices.

“No, no, you’ve got it all wrong. A yellow tent does not go with a chartreuse sleeping bag!”

Steve might actually try to feng shui the place.

Anyway, another day, another slice of life of our fair city.

It’s not always pretty, but it is … Las Vegas.

The Real Fremont Street

Rex — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 02:24:00 +0000

The photos you see on this page were taken on what is arguably the most famous street in Las Vegas, and as far as world-renowned streets are concerned … it’s certainly up there.

Even though it is almost a household name, most people have never actually traversed this famous thoroughfare.

Sure, everyone is familiar with the four block stretch under the canopy, and the two block “Fremont East” district, but that’s all for show. Given the fact that cars cannot drive in most of the resort area, what most people know as “Fremont Street” is hardly a street at all. It’s just the name of a pedestrian mall.

Fremont Street Canopy

Fremont Street Canopy and Fremont East

Fremont East

Fremont Street Near Fremont East and Canopy

The Western Hotel and Casino

So, what of the “street” part of Fremont?

Does it even exist?

If so, where does it go, and what does it look like?

Let’s face it, once one gets past 8th street, Fremont becomes a mystery for all but the most ardent explorers of Vegas. It’s an enigma.

Beyond the world’s largest light show, past the glittering casinos, past the neon artwork, lies the real Fremont Street. The part of the street which few locals dare to tread, and even fewer tourists.

For years, the city has been trying to close its eyes and pretend that Fremont ends at the glass slipper. They’ve tried not to acknowledge Fremont’s true existence. But it’s there.

This afternoon, as I made my way from Boulder Station to The Plaza (and back) … instead of hopping on the freeway, I decided to take the entire length of Fremont in order to more fully document this most unusual of urban corridors.

Boulder Highway Becomes Fremont Street

Shortly past Boulder Station, Boulder Highway becomes Fremont Street. While it looks like nothing more than a name change on paper, it actually marks the precise spot where the county becomes the city. The scenery changes from one of a strange quasi-rural road, to an even stranger stretch of asphalt that is not quite urban, not quite suburban, but is every bit as strange.

There are prostitutes on the corner, people making narcotics deals in the open, and advertisements for such well known performers as Ice-T in what seems like the world’s most unlikely place for such an appearance (a nondescript building between a trailer park and a funeral home).

Ice-T on Fremont Street

Fremont Street

TFremont Street

Fremont Street

Silver Saddle Saloon on Fremont Street

Fremont Street

This, is the real Fremont Street. The one on which people can drive, and the one on which people actually live … if only temporarily.

Fremont Street itself is probably the most stereotypically “Vegas” road in the entire city. Not the glitz and glamor “Vegas Vacation” stereotype, but the stereotype for every hard luck story you have ever heard about the town. The aging prostitutes. The degenerate gamblers. The lawless. Those with a penchant for narcotics made from over-the-counter Sudafed.

Fremont Street is like a magnet for those with an alternative version of the American dream.

The “real” Fremont Street is where the movie “Leaving Las Vegas” plays out a dozen times each day, but in a slightly less glamorous way. There are hundreds of drunks living with prostitutes on Fremont, only none of them look like Nicholas Cage or Elizabeth Shue.

There are no gambling sprees, weekend getaways at desert spas, or anything that resembles love … just one day after another blurred together in the pursuit of fleeting moments of happiness in an otherwise miserable existence.

This, is Las Vegas, raw and uncensored. You can almost see the hopes and dreams of Fremont residents discarded on the sidewalks like the omnipresent litter.

One block after the next brings yet another low-rise motel with window air-conditioners which have almost certainly seen better days. Signs are misspelled, and you are hard-pressed to find mentions of such 21st century expectations such as “free wi-fi”.

Motels on Fremont Street

Even though their rates are nearly the same as The Stratosphere, The Sahara, or Palace Station, somehow these motels survive with a steady stream of clientele plucked from the community that still thrives Downtown. The community of the underground economy.

Today’s Fremont is one of the last true holdouts of yesterday’s legendary Vegas. Not the legend of the guy who came to town and made it big, but the legend of the guy who came to town and lost everything.

Driving down Fremont is like jumping into a time machine and taking a trip back to the 1970’s. It is stuck in a perpetual time-warp. While they have erected at least one condo project (which I don’t believe is doing well), the rest of the street has remained more or less unchanged for 30 years.

Urban Lofts on Fremont Street

Fremont Street

It’s hard to imagine a more prototypically seedy place, but this was what the city looked like before Summerlin. This was the typical street scape before Green Valley and cheap tract McMansions. Before the city became a boomtown, Fremont was fairly representative of the urban makeup of Vegas.

I live only a few miles from real Fremont, and while I find myself on it fairly often, this is the first time I have made an attempt to document it.

For those with a bit of a “reality” penchant, I recommend the drive at least once. You never know what you are going to see. Over the years, I have seen quite a bit on this stretch of road. 16 year old prostitutes, 60 year old prostitutes, and narcotic offers at my window. I’ve seen shots fired, bottles thrown, and police in hot pursuit of unknown people for unknown crimes.

Fremont Street is so much more than Vegas Vic and Glitter Gulch. It’s so much more than Oscar’s vision of Downtown revitalization. It truly is the Main Street of the real Las Vegas. The one we all know exists, but don’t necessarily want to see for ourselves. It’s the reality behind the facade.

For all of the reasons stated above, it’s one of my favorite places in all of Las Vegas.

Fremont Street

Alta Drive

Rex — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 20:32:38 +0000

First of all, for those of you who have not heard, this week MGM/Mirage secured financing to complete City Center. We are still waiting on the Fontainebleau’s financing issue, but Las Vegas is guaranteed that at least one project will open by the end of the year.

The Las Vegas Strip with City Center

The Las Vegas Strip with Fontainebleau

I’ve been over both of these projects ad-nauseum this month, so I have nothing to add other than … I hope they both open and succeed.

I also doubt that this completely puts an end to the City Center drama (as a matter of fact there is a construction code issue hanging over the place), but we’ll see.

Anyway …

A couple of months ago while doing the “neighborhood series” where I toured through one inner-city neighborhood after another, I mentioned that we did have neighborhoods that were upscale, unique, and not completely suburban and cookie-cutter.

The two that sprang immediately to mind were Sunrise Mountain and Alta Drive.

Alta Drive

I headed out to Sunrise a couple months ago, but this week I finally grabbed the camera and spent a few hours on Alta. It is not a neighborhood I frequent, because other than homes, there is nothing there. Unlike Sunrise, there is no view to speak of, nor are there many attractions.

The glaring exception is Pop’s, which is located at the far west end of the ‘hood. It’s one of the few real Cheesesteak joints in Las Vegas, and it has a bit of a cult following here locally. If you are in the mood for Las Vegas’ take on Pat’s and Geno’s … then this is a place you must try.

Pop's Philly Steaks

Is it as good as Pat’s? It’s probably close enough. Like I have mentioned before, there is only so much you can do with bread and meat. I’ve dined at both Pat’s and Geno’s on the same day, and while many claim that there is an overwhelming difference, they taste more or less the same to me. So does Pop’s. It’s cheese, steak, bread, and sauce. How badly can you screw it up?

While the majority of our “nice” neighborhoods are in far-flung locales such as Summerlin, The Lakes, and Green Valley, Alta Drive is most notable for its location … literally 1 mile from Downtown Las Vegas.

Downtown Las Vegas from Alta and Rancho

While “Downtown Las Vegas” and “nice neighborhood” are almost always mutually exclusive in the eyes of the average tourists (and most locals for that matter), people tend to forget that the current sprawl of the Las Vegas Valley is a relatively recent phenomenon in the Las Vegas historical timeline.

For decades, “Las Vegas” ended at Decatur Blvd., and anything beyond that was literally “the desert”.

Quite obviously, since the inception of the town as a resort, we have always had wealthy people in Las Vegas, and living in the middle of nowhere was simply not an option. At least not if you wanted things like electricity and running water. As progress marched on and roads were built, a large amount of “white flight” occurred, and left the Downtown area relegated largely to the working class and in some cases, the outright poor.

Throughout this evolution, Alta is one of the few areas that has retained not only its prime Downtown-ish location, but has also retained and maintained its decidedly upper-upper class exclusivity.

The other very unique thing about the Alta road is its mild serpentine winding, and the 30 foot drop that immediately precedes entry to the neighborhood. When you enter from the West Side, the entrance into Alta is a fairly dramatic one. You come off of a hill, then immediately start swerving left and right. If you got up enough speed, I imagine it would be the automotive equivalent of a roller coaster.

Alta Drive

Since the good old days are long gone, Alta is now a semi-major thoroughfare. It now runs past the Suncoast Hotel, and terminates near Red Rock Canyon.

For all practical intents and purposes, “Alta Drive” refers only to the area between Martin Luther King Boulevard and Decatur Boulevard, and the historic area is even more narrowly defined as the stretch of Alta between Decatur and Rancho.

In my opinion, given the historical importance of the area, they should change the name of the road west of Decatur. I’ve always said the same thing of Las Vegas Boulevard north of Fremont and south of Russell, but nobody listens.

Maybe when I’m Mayor …

Many of your favorite resident Las Vegas celebrities and personalities have quite possibly owned homes at one point or another in this neighborhood. As a matter of fact, Siegfried, Roy, and their large family of White Tigers live just a couple of blocks north of Alta and Decatur.

While the neighborhood is rich in history and importance to the Las Vegas community, it can be somewhat of a challenge for sightseers. While some unique houses are certainly visible from one of the dozens of residential streets in the neighborhood, many other roads are behind gates, bars, trees, and walls. Alta is sandwiched between some decidedly high-crime areas, and there is somewhat of a fortress effect that takes place here that is not nearly as prevalent on Sunrise Mountain.

Alta Drive

While the neighborhood is attractive, it’s not particularly welcoming.

As a matter of fact, I spotted a train caboose in the yard of one house, and when I got out of the car to investigate, I was met with the following sign:

Union Pacific Railroad Themed Property

I assumed that they were bluffing, or that it was a novelty sign, so I approached a break in the gate to get a quick shot, and was greeted by this:

Union Pacific Railroad Themed Property

Apparently they really don’t want people to gawk at their home, which begs the question … why design it like a train station? Why stick a train in your backyard if you don’t want people to look at it?

Seriously, if I designed my house to look like a space station, and stuck a full-sized rocket in my yard, I would be shocked if people didn’t stop to see what in the hell was going on. It’s like the Bellagio Fountains chasing people from the front of the property saying “There’s nothing to see here!” during a show.

If you want to fly under the radar, that’s all well and good and I respect that … but if you do something really out of the ordinary, I’m going to look.

Driving Down Alta Drive

Same with you women that run around in low-cut dresses complaining that “Everyone is always looking at my boobs!”. Put the damn things away, and nobody will look. Alas, common sense is dead.

People build “Look at me!” houses, then sick the hounds on you when you look. What can you do?

Anyway, it would be hard for me to recommend a trip to this area if you don’t have a car … because most of the cool stuff is simply not visible to the average person.

Alta Drive

If you already have a car, however, it won’t take more than an hour out of your day to tour the area. It’s definitely “different” than the majority of the neighborhoods in the city, and that in and of itself might make it worthwhile. If you are going out to the Suncoast or Red Rock, Alta would make for a more interesting route than the freeway or Desert Inn Rd., and really would not take much more time.

And hey, if you’ve had enough to drink, and get enough liquid courage coursing through your veins, you may want to check out a particular backyard train exhibit.

I know a particular dog that eagerly awaits the challenge.

The Other Strip

Rex — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 07:46:28 +0000

Believe it or not, we actually have two “Strip”s in Las Vegas.

The Boulder Strip

At least that’s how it is marketed.

There is The Strip we all know and used to love on Las Vegas Boulevard, and there is the lessor known “Boulder Strip”.

The Boulder Strip also has several pejorative names like the “Blue Hair Highway”, “Redneck Road”, “Trailer Park Turnpike” and any number of a dozen other monikers.

Physically, Boulder Highway is actually Fremont Street. They simply renamed it and changed its trajectory just East of Downtown. The “Boulder Strip” is a roughly 5 mile stretch of Boulder Highway between the Las Vegas City Limits and Tropicana Ave. Give or take a couple of miles since it appears to be a very flexible term. One old timer informed me that Boulder Highway and The Boulder Strip was synonymous. I disagree, but such is the interpretive nature of the road.

I get asked about the Boulder Highway area quite often and I’ll be honest, the queries surprise me. I naturally assume that there is zero interest in this area from those who live outside of the state.

Boulder Highway does, however, tap into a niche segment of the Vegas tourism market. Both Sam’s Town and Arizona Charlie’s have very popular Recreational Vehicle Parks. Sam’s Town has 500 RV spaces, and AZ Charlie’s has 200. Obviously, they aggressively market to the RV crowd. If you happen to pass a Winnebago on the road to Las Vegas, chances are those folks are staying on Boulder Highway.

The Boulder Strip

This Highway is a road that I use somewhat frequently. As much as I hate to admit it, sometimes I do have to go to Henderson, and when I do, it is usually via the Fabulous Boulder Strip. Freeway on-ramps near The Strip or Downtown are a nightmare, and by the time I actually grab a lane, I could already be on Boulder via Charleston, Sahara, or Desert Inn. Surface streets are often simply faster in this town.

Even though this area is paradise for RV lovers and people who enjoy favorable gaming odds, I am going to say something that I think few people will disagree with: The Boulder Strip is as ugly as the day is long.

For a road in such a heavily populated metro area, it’s very unusual looking.

The Boulder Strip hosts four “major” casinos. Those casinos are Arizona Charlie’s, Boulder Station, Sam’s Town, and of course, The “new” Eastside Cannery.

The Boulder Strip

Although I have been to them all a few times, the only one that I visit with any regularity is Boulder Station. The Railhead is a decent concert venue, and I can take advantage of the Boarding Pass promotions which usually results in free meals, movie tickets, etc.

Sam’s Town is kind of interesting with animatronic beavers (I’m serious) in its outdoor atrium, and it is clean and playable. The other properties are fine as well … but they are simply geographically disadvantaged.

Even though there isn’t a huge amount of tourist gambling action on Boulder, it is worth an occasional drive.

Why?

This stretch of road is an utter human zoo. I’ve addressed Las Vegas’ overall weirdness in the past, and nowhere is the oddity of this town on public display moreso than on Boulder Highway. As a matter of fact, I dare you to drive the length of the road and not do at least ten double-takes.

Is that really a prostitute standing in front of a trailer park trying to hitch a ride from passing vehicles?

The Boulder Strip

Yes. Yes it is.

Boulder Highway is the LSD of asphalt. It’s unpredictable, and you never know what kind of trip it’s going to be … but one thing is for certain … you will see something that will mess with your mind.

Over the years, I’ve seen people driving monster trucks with flamethrowers as exhaust pipes on the highway. I have seen people riding down the highway with a dog on their motorcycle handlebars. I’ve seen guys walking dazed and confused up the center lane wrapped in nothing more than a shower curtain. I’ve seen five people hanging off a generic Vespa as it struggled to make it up the incline.

The Boulder Strip

The other staple of the Highway is Vietnam Vets. Not the “I love the USA and I’m glad to be home” vets. The Boulder vets tend to be more of the angry “I’ve seen things that will make a grown man cry blood!” variety. They are all over the place, and from my experience, it’s better not to make eye contact with them. I get the feeling that they could snap at any moment.

The Boulder Strip

Boulder Highway is also dotted with obscure (and slightly weird) casinos like the Jokers Wild, Skyline Casino, Mugshots Casino, and Longhorn Casino. Playing in small, unknown, weird casinos is kind of a hobby of mine, and I will write about those later, but it’s suffice to say that Boulder Highway plays host to at least a few of them. There are also several Strip clubs which specialize in dancers with bullet wounds and C-section scars. If you want a grind girl who has been through some visible hardship and understands your pain, then Boulder Highway is your place.

The Boulder Strip

The only real homes that front Boulder Highway directly are trailer parks, which are fairly prominent … hence the colorful nicknames for the road.

The Boulder Strip

Personally, I like Boulder Highway because it’s part of the “real” Las Vegas. The east side of Vegas definitely “gets” our town far more than the Californian-infested west side of town which is hell-bent on turning Las Vegas into Glendale.

Town Center Drive may have Escalades and finely manicured lawns, but Boulder Highway has character, originality, and three guys in a pickup truck tailgating you with a shotgun pointed at your head while screaming “Helter Skelter!” out the window.

How could you possibly resist such a place?

The Boulder Strip