Happy Nevada Day
October 30, 2009
It’s that time of year again.
The time when people statewide erect trees in their living rooms, hang lights from their rooftops, and exchange decorative gift boxes full of sand.
That’s right, it’s Sort of But Not Really Nevada Day.
The “real” Nevada Day is October 31, but since the 31st usually falls on an inconvenient weekday, our hardworking public servants always get a well-deserved three day weekend by celebrating this special occasion on the last Friday of October. After all, they’ve earned it. Processing 190,000 unemployment checks each month is hard work.
So, what exactly is Nevada Day?
It’s the day on which Nevada was admitted to the great nation known as the United States of America. Grab a box of tissue because you’ve no doubt just soiled yourself in excitement upon learning this little factoid.
If you think about it, it is a tiny bit fascinating that Nevada shares its official day with Halloween. You’ve got ghouls, goblins, demons, and Nevada statehood … all on the same day.
Since there are no coincidences, there simply has to be some symbolism in there somewhere. The timing had to have been a practical joke played by congress on the rest of the nation.
“Trick or Treat unwashed masses, you’re getting Nevada, bwahahahahahahahahaha!”
The country has never been quite the same since.
Lest you think Nevada Day is your run of the mill silly state holiday, perish the thought. In addition to being shut out of most necessities, we also get a different “theme” each year.
A couple of years ago the theme was “Area 51”. This year it’s “Nevada Salutes President Lincoln”. I assure you that I am serious.
Apparently, Nevada was created as a territory in 1861 so that the gold and silver deposits of the state would be used to support the Union and not the Confederacy. We were admitted to the U.S. in 1864 because the votes of our residents were needed to re-elect President Lincoln.
Basically, “Honest Abe” didn’t give a damn about Nevadans … he simply fleeced the state of its material wealth and used the votes of its people for the furtherance of his own selfish political purposes.
You might say that Abraham Lincoln was the Harry Reid of his time.
I have absolutely no idea why we are saluting Lincoln this year, but what can it hurt … it’s not like the guy was an advocate for the Mob or anything.
I had to drop some documents off at a government building today, and I arrived to find it closed. Like most fake holidays (which are all of them) Nevada Day catches me off-guard each year.
Sometimes banks are closed, sometimes DMV is closed, and even schools are typically shut down because having the 3rd worst educational standings in the nation is not good enough for us. Dammit, we want to be #1, and there is not one of you who can stand in our way.
Since the Nevada Day parade takes place in Carson City … Las Vegas is fairly isolated from all of the festivities. We get all of the nuisance, and none of the, uh, fun.
While the holiday is supposed to be some kind of “coming together” event for the State, it has the opposite effect on yours truly. It only serves to remind me of the huge disconnect between the Las Vegas Valley and the rest of the state.
Nevada, USA
In my mind, I live in Las Vegas. “Nevada” is the humongous dirt farm north of Aliante and south of Idaho.
Carson City is 400 miles away, and unlike most states with contiguous population centers between their State Capitals and their largest cities, there is nothing between us and our center of government but brown mountains and burros. It’s hard to feel part of a state when the capital is so remote.
Aside from rampant corruption, crappy weather, and a pathological hatred for anyone who pronounces our name as “Nev-ah-duh”, there are almost no similarities between Las Vegas and the rest of the state.
Anyway, until we can mount a successful succession movement, allow me to extend my warmest wishes to everyone in the sandbox that celebrates this most special and magical of occasions.
For everyone else scratching their head and wondering what kind of imbeciles would openly celebrate the exploitation of their state by a fractured Federal Government, just be glad that what happens here stays here.
At least that’s what I’ve heard.
Written by jmasco on October 31, 2009 at 3:43 am
It’s not just Nevada…there’s a lot of nothing between the Capital and population centers in many states. I do think that the gambling unites the state of Nevada, north or south. Like at Tahoe, you immediately feel you’re in Nevada as you cross over the border from California and see the casinos and get the same feeling you get as you head into fake Vegas (aka Primm).