ONLINE GAMBLING AND CASINO GUIDE

I asked for it.

I’ve been asking for it for years.

And, for the first time ever, someone in this town may have finally listened to me.

Is it grandiose and self important to take credit for such a thing? Yes. But I’ve been screaming it from the top of my lungs since the moment I moved here, and if I had the money, I would have already done it myself.

Credit doesn’t matter though … my fantasy may actually become a reality.

Despite the raunchy nature of the project, history may very well judge this as a defining moment for the “Las Vegas” brand.

Marc Bell, the owner of Penthouse magazine “may” be looking to open a stripper gambling area in a Strip casino … and a stripper-themed pool.

This is EXACTLY what we need in this kind of economy.  It’s exactly what we will need in any economy going forward.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, we have no vices left that the rest of the world doesn’t already have. Las Vegas is at very real risk of becoming irrelevant from a “Sin City” point of view.

If you build this thing … they will come. I will come. Repeatedly. Possibly in my pants … but I will be there nonetheless.

They tried it with the Pussycat Dolls Casino, they tried it with the X Pit, and to some extent, they work. They do attract a lot of attention.

But let’s face it, burlesque is slightly corny. It just doesn’t have the same impact as nudity.

There is a reason why most Las Vegas Casinos used to have topless shows.

They had them, because those shows brought people to the casinos.

Boobs have that power.

If someone were to ask me to try and draw a picture of God, I would draw a pair of breasts.

Why?

Because there is no force more powerful in the known universe. Scoff if you will, but deep down you know I’m right.

Every last one of you would bang Pamela Anderson in a confessional, and if you say otherwise, you are lying your ass off.

Las Vegas has become an outright sausage-fest, and as much as we blame the economy, I think the impact of the wangification of this town is grossly understated.

You can give away all the free drinks and matchplay in the world, but people will be where the T&A is.

If I want great odds, promotions, and bonuses, I’ll gamble online.

If you go through the trouble of getting on an airplane and booking a room, you need a little something extra for your trouble. Free drinks aside, Las Vegas hasn’t been delivering the goods lately. We’re a hype machine that can no longer claim anything as our own.

That could be changing.

If … the stripper casino becomes a reality.

At this point, boobs, beer, and blackjack is our only salvation.

Encore will be great when it opens next month, but what will it give you tomorrow that the Wynn doesn’t already give you today?

Not much.

City Center is going to be huge. It will be a marvel of engineering, and it will the nicest and shiniest office building with casinos that the world has ever seen. But, once you get past the shock and awe of the size and newness, what will you have?

You will have a gaming table, a dealer, a waitress, and a stack of chips.

Sound familiar?

What is Fontainebleau bringing to the table? What will the Plaza bring to the table? (assuming it ever gets built) What will Echelon bring to the table (assuming it ever gets built), etc, etc.

They are going to bring size.

Will massive buildings be able to hold the world’s collective attention simply because they are big?

If you are sitting at a table or slot machine, do you care how many other tables or slot machines are in the same physical structure? At what point does it cease being relevant? 1,000 machines? 2,000 machines? 10,000 machines?

The point is, there is no originality in any of the new concepts. More room … more games. Fine the rooms may be nicer, and the games may be newer, but you are just putting a little more polish on the exact same concept that has been in place for the last 50 years.

It is time that we do something different.

Now is our chance to make it happen. First we make the stripper casino happen, then we legalize prostitution, then we legalize drugs. It simply has to be done. One small step for man, one giant leap toward “Amsterdam in the Desert”.

Everybody, please … write your casino host, our mayor, your mayor, your congressman, and the President of the U.S. to make sure this happens.

Terrorists hate gambling. Terrorists hate bare breasts. If this new idea doesn’t happen, then the terrorists have won.

If you’re not with us, you’re against us.

The Penthouse Casino must become a reality.

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