What Happened In Vegas?
September 28, 2009
What can I tell you, I have impeccable timing.
Welcome to Las Vegas Sign
If I were slightly more important (okay, a lot more important) and a little more paranoid, I might think they were doing this just to flip the proverbial bird in my direction.
I woke up this morning, and this is the first thing that came across my news reader:
http://www.usatoday.com/travel/destinations/2009-09-27-las-vegas-what-happens-here_N.htm
The Las Vegas Sun reports that tourism leaders are returning to the message that sold the city in the best of times after using a series of less memorable pitches — advertisements saying “Vegas right now” and “Crazy times call for crazy fun.”
Those ads respected difficult times, but tourism officials say it’s time to test a former blockbuster.
The “What Happens Here” campaign has been pulled off the shelf and put back on TV …
During months of brainstorming, the agency entertained — and rejected — dozens of other like-minded pitches, including: “The stories are true;” “The secrets are yours;” “You’ll know what to do;” Get away with it;” “Who’s to say?” “Your secret is safe;” and “Who needs to know?”
I can just imagine the conversations that preceded these candidates.
“Okay guys, we’ve been scamming tax dollars from the city for years and we’ve only really come up with one slogan in the past decade. What do you think we should do now?”
“Uh, I dunno … get away with it?”
“Eureka! This is why we hired you boy, you’re a genius!”
In all seriousness, if you didn’t question the general level of bullshit that Las Vegas has been feeding you since the latter half of the decade, you certainly should be now.
If you read back over the slogans that were put up for consideration by the agency, you can clearly see the direction in which they are heading. If your IQ is anywhere north of 85, you will also see why they will continue to massively fail for the foreseeable future.
At the end of a year in which prostitution stings made front pages. At the end of a year in which clubs, massage parlors, and topless pools have been shut down ad-nauseum due to people trying to keep their secrets safe. At the end of a year in which more cops will be flooded onto the streets and in which drug busts have taken center stage … our advertising arm is still focusing on phrases designed to make a person come to Las Vegas, create an alter-ego, and be on their worst behavior.
Of course, this is nonsense. It didn’t work for OJ. Nor did it work for the poor bastard who got four holes pumped through his vehicle by a bicycle cop a couple weeks ago.
What, exactly, is the Las Vegas tourist supposed to be “getting away with” these days?
More to the point, what is supposed to “stay here” other than their money and self-respect?
I’ve said it before and I will say it again – aside from gambling which is spreading to other locations, there are few things which are legal in Vegas that are not legal in Omaha. You could get more vice in New York City or Los Angeles on an average day than you could here.
With all of the enforcement action, surveillance cameras, gung-ho security guards and trigger-happy cops being flooded into the 4 square miles of The Strip, this place is hotter than a pistol.
You’ve heard the slogan, now hear the reality. When you come Vegas, you better damn well be on your best behavior or you may find yourself with a room upgrade in the CCDC Suites where the only thing comped is your roommates d**k up your ass.
Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority Office
Even worse than the slogans that have been under consideration, is the fact that after receiving millions upon millions of dollars … R&R Partners and the LVCVA couldn’t come up with anything.
Not.
A.
Damn.
Thing.
What does $87 million buy Las Vegas in 2009?
A slogan from 2003.
A slogan which is completely and utterly inaccurate.
A slogan which sends the wrong message and further alienates the very people we need to help us back up.
If you doubted my claims that our local agencies were completely tapped out of creative ideas to lure people back … let that doubt now be put to rest.
This is the mother of all intellectual white flags.
What this says to the rest of the world is:
“You know, we’ve tried and tried for the last five years … but we’ve got nothing. But hey, remember 2003? Yeah, we knocked that one out of the park. How about a visit for old time’s sake?”
Don’t weep for us, we’re already dead.
Sure, our heart is still beating and we show occasional signs of life, but everything above the neck has flatlined.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot.
It’s a great time to book your trip to Vegas! What Happens Here, Stays H
I just can’t do it. I don’t know how anyone can.
Written by mike_ch on September 28, 2009 at 9:20 am
The whole thing is a local juice job. The LVCVA basically holds a cosmetic bidding process and it always goes to R
Written by mike_ch on September 28, 2009 at 9:22 am
Awww, screw it. I was going to detail the LVCVA and “R and R Partners” incestuous relationship one more time, about how they get the money just for being based in Las Vegas when it’s becoming apparently we could get more for our money out of state (a common complaint in terms of Doctors and educators, turns out Nevada isn’t drawing the best marketing minds either!) and rambled about why their “value Vegas” message failed (it wasn’t really about Vegas but about a bunch of hayseeds who had their trip paid for, thus making no bargain statement at all.)
Unfortunately, I keep forgetting how much your comments system hates the Shift-7.
Written by Ten Mile on September 28, 2009 at 9:26 am
C’mon, Rex. You can say it. After me: “We’ve got O.J.. See him live. Out side the book store, right beside Pete Rose. 10:00AM to 1:00PM.”
You ready? Okay, here we go . . .
Written by ColinFromLasVegas on September 28, 2009 at 9:39 am
You’re to the point, Rex. I’ve been thinking the same for quite awhile now. Now this just confirms it even more.
The Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority (LVCVA) are collectively a bunch of Richard craniums.
They spend money like it’s going out of style, even in these tough economic recession times, and there is STILL not a damn thing to show for it. And then they tell everyone in Las Vegas that they have been doing a lot of good for the city. Piss on my back and tell me it’s raining.
The worst thing they did, in my opinion, and I alluded to it on one of your other blogs, is when they got together with select casinos on the Strip and tried their damndest to get a campaign going to attract locals into the casinos on the Strip. And it quickly faded away into oblivion. Because people saw right through it.
This was amazing knuckleheadedness. Because the fact is that casino workers ALL say they don’t particularly care for locals. Because they don’t tip. This is their understanding. And this belief is even held amongst casino owners. They advertise for tourists to come in there and could care less about locals. Because they believe they don’t spend money. That has been their focus.
But then, during the worst of the economic recession quite a few months ago, some of the casinos came up with the rocket scientist idea to attract locals in and give them special deals (which actually weren’t special deals..they were the same stuff you’d give tourists if they come in and gamble…same as the “comp” system). Not because they care for locals and that locals are good, but because they weren’t getting the money like they used to get from tourists, so they targetted locals to make up for it. All of a sudden locals are good, not because they are, but because they have money they want to supplement the lack of tourists from out of town.
And then the LVCVA is approached by them about this. And LVCVA, whose members don’t have an innovative thinking bone in their bodies, say, okay, sure, let’s do that, let’s just get them to spend their paychecks in the casinos, jerk ‘em upside down and shake the money out of them, money they are probably supposed to pay bills and survive with. And LVCVA’s main reason to go along with it is because they can’t think of anything else to do so they say, sure, let’s do it, sounds good to us, let’s rip Las Vegas to shreds and take it out on the locals, run ‘em broke and drive them out of town, because we can’t think of anything else to do, so let’s do that, we agree with you casinos, let’s shove it up the ass of the locals because you can’t get tourists here, and, more importantly, it makes us look like we care and are doing something to make things better, but we’re really only doing this to protect our jobs and tell anyone and everyone we can that things are going to get better.
Sure sounded like that.
But all of us saw through that scam. It didn’t work. At all. And we know it didn’t work. Because they don’t promote those stupid ad scams anymore trying to attract locals. They switched. Because those casino owners found out it was a waste of time and didn’t make them money.
We are now back to being not wanted in the Strip casinos. We like it like that. (smile)
So, now this latest ad campaign to go back to the good ole used to be “What happens here.” It worked before. Maybe it’ll work again.
The jury’s out on it. Time will tell. We’ll see.
Whatever happens, those idiots at LVCVA will still rake in money. Money they don’t deserve.
I say fire all of them assholes and put Rex in charge.
No. Wait. Don’t want to overstretch Rex’s duties. He’s already got my vote for Mayor to replace that good ole boy Oscar.
Written by Patricio on September 28, 2009 at 11:51 am
So, any ideas for a new slogan?
Written by Rex on September 28, 2009 at 12:34 pm
So, any ideas for a new slogan?
Yes.
But I’m holding out for $57 Million.
So far I’m the lowest bidder.
Written by tully on September 28, 2009 at 1:59 pm
“Come As You Are” would make a fine slogan. Still rather fond of “Your Own Personal Vegas” as well.
The USA Today article says the slogan was the brainchild of a couple twenty somethings. Why am I not surprised. The problem is the average age of the gambling visitor (key word: gambling) is well past twenty-something. Not sure what it is, but would guess the average age would be in the 40s.
The twenty somethings probably don’t have any real understanding of what the, say 35 and up gambling crowd wants. And those are the people the city really needs right now. The twenty something club crowd ? Not so much. Unable to figure out how to get the gamblers back, R and R gives us back this tired out old slogan.
Blech.