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I can’t believe they are doing this again.

The Strip will go dark the evening of March 27, as the annual Earth Hour event comes to Las Vegas for a second year.

The World Wildlife Fund’s Earth Hour, designed to raise global awareness of climate change, will roll across the world and reach the Strip at 8:30 local time, when high-profile hotel-casinos and government agencies plan to dim or turn off their exterior lights for 60 minutes.

Leslie Aun, Earth Hour’s managing director, said Las Vegas’ participation as an Earth Hour flagship city in 2009 proved “critical” to advancing the event and its popularity. Unlike turning off the Eiffel Tower — the real one, in Paris — or Mount Rushmore, blacking out the Strip and surrounding areas requires the cooperation of myriad business executives and public officials, Aun said. That makes Las Vegas an ideal representation of what Earth Hour is all about.

“Las Vegas is a great metaphor for what we’re trying to do across the country, which is to get everyone to participate, instead of a place here and there,” Aun said. “Las Vegas was a pretty big momentum builder last year.”

The World Wildlife Fund unveiled its local plans for Earth Hour 2010 at a Tuesday press conference.

Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman and Clark County Commissioner Larry Brown attended the event, held underneath the “Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas” sign at the Strip’s south end.

Goodman called Earth Hour “a perfect fit for the city and its sustainability initiative.”

Goodman asked businesses and residents across the Las Vegas Valley to join resort operators and government agencies in celebrating Earth Hour.

Now, I’ve taken a lot of criticism for my “climate change” stance, but of all of the things I get criticized for, I consider these attacks to be the most unwarranted and unjustified.

In my mind, when people criticize me for making fun of global warming, it is akin to meth addicts with DARE bumper-stickers chastising me for my caffeine intake.  It’s irrational.

If one were to do a comprehensive audit of fully-functional 41 year old males in the USA (paraplegics probably use little gasoline), I would estimate that my personal lifetime carbon footprint would place me in the bottom ten percentile … if not the bottom five.

I’ve always made it priority #1 to live where things were actually located.  I’ve never “driven to work” on a daily basis.  I’ve walked, biked, roller bladed, and taken the bus/subway … but hour-long daily automobile commutes are a completely foreign concept to me.  Driving in traffic feels like torture and I go to great lengths to avoid it.

Sure, I own a car now, but I’ve earned it.  I paid my “carbon” dues in spades for damn near 35 years.  I’m too banged up to self-propel myself quite as far as I used to.  Especially in 110 degree temperatures.  Still, personal drives of over 5 miles are uncommon, and I still overwhelmingly prefer the bus or the monorail.  On a day-to-day basis, my “carbon footprint” is still probably 80% less than the average suburbanite’s.

Even when directly compared to modern bedheaded iPhone users that hang out in coffee shops (what’s the big deal about coffee?) and go to earth rallies, chances are I’ve lead a FAR more eco-friendly life than they have.

Allow me to present evidence.

I’ve lived in a loft before.  A real one, and not something built from the ground up to be a “loft”. There was no parking provided as the notion of car ownership amongst loft-dwellers was patently laughable.

Recently, “lofts” were erected in Rexville.  Here are a few photos:

Notice that there are no windows on the bottom 1/3rd of the buildings.  That’s because that portion of the structure is devoted to parking.  In 2010, not even the biggest hipster-douches can get by without a car.  They can only carry the “urban” pretense so far before caving in to the creature comforts of whatever suburban hellhole they came from.

Even though I have arguably been the most eco-friendly person on the planet, has anyone, nay, anyone ever thanked me for my selfless contributions toward reducing global warming?

NO!

Not once.  Instead, they’ve scolded me because I don’t publicly wring my hands over the supposed problem that is “climate change”.  Nobody in this country cares what you do, they only care what you say.  Screw walking the walk, it’s the talk that matters, and that’s one reason why these “climate change” events are imbecilic.

It’s not the largest reason, though.

I’ve said it before and I’ve said it again, the earth simply cannot be “saved”.  It’s un-savable.

Earth exists at the whim of the sun, and as all stars do … the sun will burn out … flash freezing the earth and spinning it off into darkened space.  There is nothing we humans can do to prevent this.

Well, almost nothing.

As the sun weakens, earth may actually need an increasingly-weakening ozone to keep temperatures stable.  This means that eco-friendliness may actually hasten the demise of the planet or precipitate another ice age.  The climate change stuff is an inexact science.  2006 was one of the 10 hottest years on record.  Then again, 1934 was also in the top 10.  As was 1953, 1921, and 1938.  The earth cools and the earth warms.  It always has and it always will.

Is “man” responsible for it?

It doesn’t matter.  If a future generation doesn’t exhaust all earthly resources, those resources will have gone to waste when the planet ceases to exist.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m no fan of pollution (I’m quite low-impact there as well), but climate change as a cause is nonsensical.  These “earth” events almost certainly do more harm than good while satisfying some kind of deep-seated urge among the participants.  Most likely, it is the urge to belong.

I openly dispute the WWF’s and Oscar Goodman’s assertion that Earth Hour has any effect on the planet whatsoever.

Whether it was in person, on TV, or through videos on our computer screens … we all saw Earth Hour in Las Vegas last year.  Sure, it was interesting on some level because it was unique, but the novelty is now gone.  Thousands of cars packed Las Vegas Boulevard last year to watch, spewing exhaust into the air while celebrating the inconsequential savings of electricity.

I can’t help but believe that this was 100% counterproductive.  I don’t think it changed any minds either.  It was a stunt, and it was seen as such.  People came out to see the darkened Strip, and then went back to what they were doing.

That is exactly what will happen this year as well.

I can count on my third testicle the number of people who indicated to me that they were modifying their eco-behavior because Las Vegas Boulevard had voluntarily gone dark for an hour.  The very notion that the event had, or will have an effect on anyone’s daily behavior is patently absurd.

If you are truly concerned about the planet, and I mean really, truly, and deeply concerned … just say “no” to earth events.  Instead, shut your hole, move closer to work, and sell your car.  It may not be glamorous, but it is the single most effective thing you can personally do to reduce your impact on the planet.

If you don’t do this, and continue to rally and participate in earth causes, in my opinion, it’s all for show.

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