ONLINE GAMBLING AND CASINO GUIDE

First it was “electricity surcharges” then “water surcharges”.

I’m not sure exactly when the fees and surcharges began, but I remember my first Vegas “surcharge” sometime in the early 2000’s.  They used to annoy the hell out of me.  There was no rhyme or reason, and I never knew when I was going to get whacked with the fees.  I would always protest them, and sometimes they would waive them, but more often they didn’t.  In my opinion, a hotel room without water and power is not a habitable hotel room.  It’s a given that it’s part of the room rate.  I also assume it will have a bed and some kind of furnishing.  This is pretty standard for a hotel room.

When they did make me pay the fees, I always did my part to justify the fees.  I left every light and TV on, and left the water in the sink running all day.  It probably cost them more than they made on the fees themselves.  They used to have little signs in the rooms that said “please help us conserve water and electricity” … even after you paid the fees.  To this day, I still see these signs in some of the rooms.

The unbundling of charges across the spectrum in every aspect of the American economy has become ridiculous, but nowhere has this phenomenon been pushed to the boundaries of sheer absurdity moreso than in Las Vegas.

The reason that I don’t typically bitch about the fees anymore is quite simply because I don’t pay them anymore.  I get free rooms here and there, and throughout the year I visit a large number of people in the rooms they book for themselves … but I don’t directly encounter or pay the fees.

I was really glad when I moved here so that I didn’t have to stay in hotels anymore.  I now have a weird quirk where I can no longer crap in an unfamiliar toilet.  When I hit age 35, I stopped being able to fire a torpedo unless I was fully acclimated to my surroundings.  I’ve not dropped a deuce in a public toilet in five years.  It’s a psychological thing.  Even when I stay in Strip hotels, I go home to launch one, then go back to the room.  I like my home because I love my toilet, and it me.  We have a special bond.

Anyway …

That being said, my interest in resort fees was recently rekindled by some reader comments.  One person relayed that he was whacked with fees at the Stratosphere, and another reader noticed that the brand new M Resort charges a “Resort Fee” of $25 not per stay … but per night.

Given that rooms at the M start at $54/night, that is an insane surcharge of 46%.  Forty Six Percent!

Advertising a room for $54/night knowing full well that it is actually $79/night is patently unconscionable.  It’s false advertising, and it is contemptuous of the very clientele to which they are catering.  I think people are getting sick and tired of the deception this town turns out.

These fees also prevent people from comparing room rates on an accurate basis.

Why not just start room rates at $79/night?

Because that would be honest, and Las Vegas simply will not tolerate honest and fair business practices.  Perish the thought.

Unlike some resorts, The M does disclose this fee when you book, but only when you are mid-way through the booking process.  I appreciate the fact that you get an Internet connection at the M, but I refuse to believe that it costs $750/month to provide access to a single room.

I think part of what has happened is that hotels have lost lucrative phone revenue, and are trying to make up for it in other areas.  Since everyone on the planet now has a cellphone, the ridiculous phone charges that used to exist have gone up in smoke.

Also, the whole phrase is made up.  “Resort Fee”.   It doesn’t make any sense.   What “resort”?  If you can’t book a room without opting out of the fee, the fee is part of the room rate.

Think about it. I could build a great hotel, advertise rooms for $5 per night, then add $200 “Elevator Fees”, “Hooker In The Bar Fees” and whatever else I could dream up.  But still, my official position would be that the room rate is only $5.

This is essentially what the properties are doing, albeit on a smaller scale.

I envision a day when all Vegas hotel rooms are free.  You pay only fees and surcharges, which are nothing short of profit padding.

Another problem arises if you book a room three months in advance.  Once you land in Vegas, it’s hard to exercise the “free market” and simply go to another hotel if you don’t agree to the fee.   They will hit you with a “cancellation fee”, and you may or may not be able to find a similar room for a similar price.

They have a captive audience for the fees.  Is this legal?

I’m sure Nevada Courts would uphold any ridiculous casino policy, but if put it through a Federal legal challenge (booking rooms across state lines) … I don’t think they would stand up.  Then again, this is the U.S.  where laws are made up on the spot, so what the hell do I know.

I do fear that this kind of nonsense is part of what is alienating the middle-class tourist even further.  I simply cannot believe that in this day and age, and in this economy, Las Vegas is still trying to find out  exactly how far they can push the customer.  That’s how we got in this mess in the first place.   Crap pay tables, higher table limits, crap customer service, $5 ATM withdrawal fees, fees here, fees there … the whole thing just seems penny-wise and pound dumbass to me.

I’m sure they are making some short-term money, but are people coming back for more?  The numbers are saying that perhaps they are not.

Also, it is quite possible that the person who shells out $25 for the “Resort Fee” feels compelled to get his money’s worth and hang out at the pool all day, or surf porn for hours on end, and ends up gambling $200 less per day.  This is a very real possibility.

It’s really hard to say exactly what these fees do for revenue, but there simply has to be some negative effect.  Even if it is simple ill-will, that is often enough to tarnish the experience of the visitor.  I think the town just needs to step up and be honest, reasonable, and forthright with the customer.

Last but not least … I don’t want to pretend to be some kind of armchair-quarterback “Vegas Expert”, but I actually wrote this back in early 2007 when addressing resort fees.  Hindsight is 20/20, but I don’t think it took a genius to make this observation:

Vegas seems to be trying to convince itself that it can do without the middle-class and the working-class tourist, but I think this is a major miscalculation.

I do think that it will eventually hit a tipping point where enough of the market will say “Eat Me” and take their dollars elsewhere, at which point we will need to go back to the customer-oriented Vegas that brought so many people here to begin with.

Or maybe American’s having gotten so used to grabbing their ankles and getting butt[fornicated] by Corporate America that nobody even notices anymore.

Time will tell, and I could be wrong.  Wouldn’t be the first time.

Looks like time told.

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