A Day at the World Series of Poker

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A Day at the World Series of Poker

June 11, 2009

The World Series of Poker can be a bit of a weird and confusing event.

The World Series of Poker

While everyone is familiar with the “Main Event” a/k/a The World Championship No-Limit Texas Hold’em Game … this particular game is actually the 57th event on the WSOP schedule.

Yes, FIFTY SEVENTH.

Personally, I am not a big fan of calling the entire two month slate of events the “World Series of Poker”.

This would be like calling an entire football season “The Super Bowl”, or an entire baseball season “The World Series”.

Since the fifty six games leading up to the true WSOP are merely preliminary events, I don’t think they should fly under the same flag as the World Series of Poker. It somewhat cheapens the event. They also have too many weird games.

More than once, I have heard tourists tell me that they heard that the World Series of Poker was in town during their visit, and they specifically went to the Rio in the hopes of catching one of their favorite poker personalities at one of the tables.

Rio Hotel and Casino

Rio Hotel and Casino - WSOP

When they arrived at the event, they entered the spectator area, and instead of seeing Phil Hellmuth throwing a chair across the room, they sat and watched a bunch of people they didn’t know playing the 2-7 Triple Draw Lowball Tournament.

I swear to the God that exists in your head that this is a real game. Its event number 55. That’s not all. Under the umbrella of the WSOP, there are a wide variety of other crowd-pleasing, spine-tingling tournaments as:

Seven Card Razz
Seniors No-Limit Hold’Em World Championship (has poker become so strenuous that old people need a separate game?)
H.O.R.S.E (I might actually win this one if they use a regulation ball and rim)
Ladies NL Hold’em World Championship (bless their little hearts, they just can’t beat men even in non-physical sports)
Pot-Limit Omaha Hi-low Split-8 or Better (because naming a game after every word in the dictionary just isn’t practical)
Deuce to Seven Draw Lowball (I smoked some of this back in the 80’s)

I live in Las Vegas and play poker all the time, but I have never even heard of most of these games. It’s bad enough telling people you play a game called “Hold’Em” (oh yeah, why don’t you hold these for me) … but there is no way I would admit to playing something called “Razz”. It sounds like something chorus line dancers play backstage. Right after they are done playing their own special version of “Hold’Em”.

Really, the sheer number and types of games is just too much. By the end of June, most people who live in Vegas more or less ignore the WSOP because it just drags on and on, and most of the events are completely obscure to anyone other than the most ardent poker nerds.

There is one other problem with drawing spectators to the event. I’ve seen many a WSOP games over the years, and I have to be brutally honest with you. Watching this stuff in person is nothing like watching it on TV. You don’t get to see highlights, final tables, and arguments.

The vast majority of WSOP games are played in complete and utter silence. Everyone dresses in their favorite poker garb (the Phil Unabomber Laak look is very “in” this year), and everyone kind of sits there and play with bored expressions for hours and hours and hours. I would go so far as to call it uncomfortable and awkward. People just don’t look like they are having a good time.

The World Series of Poker

As a live spectator, watching the preliminary and lessor events is like watching paint dry. I stood in the various game rooms for about 30 minutes today, and the chips clacking together literally sounded like crickets chirping. Seriously, you would need an IV of Red Bull to watch this for more than half and hour.

“Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear … is he going to call? Fold? What will he do? What will he do??!!! Wait, I don’t know any of these people, what the hell do I care?”

If you actually make it a point to see any of the WSOP primary events, the preceding conversation will absolutely take place in your head. I promise.

Even though I am not thrilled about the length of the event, or the lack of excitement … whenever I go to the Rio in June or July, I always go to the WSOP and hang out for awhile.

Why?

Because the hallways of the Rio Convention Center are lined with this during the entirety of the WSOP:

WSOP Rio Convention Center

The fun of going to the WSOP is not actually watching people play poker, it’s hanging around the perimeter of the event and chatting up with the eye candy. As the main events draws nearer, and more tourists show up to the Rio, various sponsors start trotting out more and more hot chicks to market their products. It feels kind of weird walking around poker games with your johnson harder than Chinese arithmetic, but I assure you … it happens.

I would probably be a bit more excited about the WSOP if I ever got the opportunity to play. Unless I hit a miracle satellite, it’s just not going to happen, though. Given the suck-out nature of tournament play, I don’t really know what my chances of winning would be, but I don’t want to enter the WSOP to play cards anyway.

I want to play in the main event to make television history.

I want to be seated at a table with that Hellmuth guy. I’ve seen some of his antics on ESPN and I know beyond a shred of doubt that I could throw a ten thousand times better s**t fit than he can. I want to trade insults with homeboy on national TV. Everyone is so soft on the dude, and I don’t get it. People just sit there as he goes off on 5 minute tangents, but I would revel in the challenge.

Screw poker, when he goes off on my donkey play and the commentators gleefully say “Oh, here goes Phil again!” … I want ten minutes of airtime to stand up and describe in graphic detail the twenty ways in which I fornicated with every member of Phil’s family. Don’t think for a moment that I wouldn’t do it, because I absolutely would. That, my friends, would be “must see TV”. I would do everything I could to turn the current snoozefest on its head.

Alas, it is not worth 10G’s for me simply to get into a pissing match with one guy, so for the rest of the 2009 World Series of Poker, I will be relegated to watching other players, and roaming the halls of the Rio Convention Center and mingling with the T&A.

Now if you will excuse me, I need to get to bed early tonight. While I will not be playing in the main event, I am scheduled to play in the Super Hi-Lo Crazy Christ on a Cracker Breakin’ 2 Electric Boogaloo Championship Game tomorrow and I want to be well rested. It’s a competitive field this year.

Wish me luck.

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Author: Rex
Date: 8:11 pm
Posted in: Current Events, Gambling

29 Comments »

Written by Jeff on June 12, 2009 at 3:55 am

You aren’t lying about live poker being boring to watch. I play poker and enjoy watching it on TV from time to time, so I was excited to get to stop by the Rio and catch some of the “action” during last year’s main event. I sat and watched the featured table with Johnny Chan for probably 45 minutes before I got nearly bored to death.

In that three quarters of an hour I think three hands went past the flop and only one went all the way to a showdown. It was fun to see some of the pros from television in person, but the real show were all the girls from the strip clubs and internet poker sites in the hallway outside the Amazon room. I spent about 2 hours roaming around out there before I headed back to the strip to try to take other tourist’s money by employing your poker strategy.
Written by tbruns on June 12, 2009 at 5:21 am

Dude, your cracking me up, but I totally get it…if your not playing then what’s the point even the ones on TV bore me to tears. I truly get no contact high watching something called lowball razz acey duecy flop but it seems like I should..I’m so confused..hey look something shiny!

P.S. Please let me know if the Sigma Derby is still racing at the MGM my wife goes bonkers over the game and it will take some of the fun out of her trip if it’s not there in August. Thanks man, -Ted
Written by Ost on June 12, 2009 at 6:02 am

“When they arrived at the event, they entered the spectator area, and instead of seeing Phil Hellmuth throwing a chair across the room, they sat and watched a bunch of people they didn’t know playing the 2-7 Triple Draw Lowball Tournament.”

I think that you will see more famous players at the final tables in the small, weird tournaments. Phill Ivey, won the tournament you are referring to for instance. He is a quite reconiced face i suppose.

Nonetheless, I totally agree with you that the value of a bracelet has been devaluated due to the massive amount of events. However, There will be more well-known pros in the H.O.R.S.E fnal than in Main Event – at least percentagewise.
Written by Mike Gomes on June 12, 2009 at 9:19 am

Tbruns-Sigma Derby is still at the MGM muthaf)))a
Written by par88 on June 12, 2009 at 9:52 am

ESPN360 and Bluff magazine are streaming some of the WSOP events live -
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/poker/news/story?id=4193851
Its about as much fun as watching paint dry.

OTOH I would pay admission to see Rex go up against Hellmuth.
Written by Jagged on June 12, 2009 at 10:15 am

Wait a minute! Screw poker… a strip club with a pool? How about a review of that Rex?
Written by Lawrence on June 12, 2009 at 1:44 pm

Rex,

Looks like your post made it to 2 2 poker forums …..

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/newreply.php?do=newreply
Written by Lawrence on June 12, 2009 at 4:49 pm

Whoops! Wrong link. Try this:
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/29/news-views-gossip/outsiders-view-wsop-rio-507550/
Written by Shamu on June 12, 2009 at 7:49 pm

Rex wrote:

>By the end of June, most people who live south of Canada more or less ignore the NHL
>because it just drags on and on, and most of the events are completely obscure to
>anyone other than the most ardent hockey nerds.

Fixed it for ya.
Written by CLM on June 12, 2009 at 9:01 pm

That Super Hi-Lo Crazy Christ on a Cracker Breakin’ 2 Electric Boogaloo tourney you’re in tomorrow, is that Kansas City rules, or just the regular game?
Written by Justin on June 13, 2009 at 8:25 am

I think it’s cute that you consider any game other than holdem stupid. How can it be poker if you can’t go all in, am I right?
Written by chance on June 13, 2009 at 12:13 pm

Why I watch poker – Jennifer Tilly and Shannon Elizabeth
Written by Justin on June 13, 2009 at 1:27 pm

And the fact that you didn’t know much about live poker, (especially the pace of the action) until you went to watch it at the WSOP, should show that you know little to nothing about poker and any “controversial” opinion you have really has no weight.

And LOL at your bio saying you play poker for profit. You would think you’d know more about live poker if that was the case. Good luck being witty and sarcastic on future topics you probably have little understanding of. I tremble with anticipation!
Written by alberta on June 13, 2009 at 3:10 pm

I”ll play heads up poker with you any day. And I promise not to cry.
signed,
Phil “the pill” Hellmouth
Written by keith on June 13, 2009 at 3:37 pm

Justin needs to read Rex’s article from a few weeks ago about limit hold’em to see why most of the limit games are a waste of time – you trade blinds back and forth because no one has to really pay to see cards. As for some of these other games, Low games are equally as pointless – “hey, i can win with a shit hand! yippie!” as well as weird variations, like crazy pineapple upside down cake.

i read thru the list of the games and agreed with Rex – most of the games are crap and shouldn’t be referred to as the WSOP – maybe call it something else, then have 4 or 5 main (traditional rules) games as your WSOP.

And phil helmuth very justly deserves to have his crybaby attitude turned right back in his face. I say we all chip in a few bucks to pay for Rex’s buy-in to make that happen.
Written by keith on June 13, 2009 at 3:39 pm

and is it me, or does the blonde in the last photo kinda look like Lindsay Lohan? you know, if she laid off the cocaine
Written by Justin on June 13, 2009 at 9:01 pm

You clearly have no idea about limit poker if you think it’s just people trading blinds back and forth. I’ve easily won over $200k playing limit Holdem cash games in my “short” poker career.
Written by tully on June 14, 2009 at 6:41 am

Hmm. An LV blogger pokes some fun at the WSOP, rants about low limit poker, and a small ruckus ensues. Who’d have thunk it?

Justin, no offense, but take a chill pill. FWIW, I play—and actually enjoy— small stakes “bingo.” We’ve discussed it in Rex’s forums, and he thinks I’m nuts. I think he just doesn’t like the game, it’s not a good fit for him, and since he is a recreational player with not a lot of time to play, why should he spend it playing a game he doesn’t like? I don’t care for NL, and don’t play it. Different strokes for different folks, if you will.

When he ranted about limit a few posts back, did I get all offended and come light a fire under his tail for dissin’ my favorite game? No, I laughed—low limit poker is a crazy game, and can make even a player who knows how to beat it rant. A person who dislikes it will really go off.

And I do believe the WSOP is a strong enough tradition ti withstand having some fun poked at it.

Before you judge him so harshly, you might want to check out Rex’s post from a couple days ago about the seizure of online poker funds. Or a post from January 3rd on the state of online gambling in the US.
Or the post on Minnesota’s (now abandoned) effort to block ISP access to gaming sites.

The guy can be serious when it truly counts.
Written by roger on June 14, 2009 at 8:00 am

Yeah, lighten up Justin. I’ve been reading Rex’s writing for a while now and one thing I know for sure is that he makes fun of most everything, but it’s always in a light manner, never in a hurtful way. And as Tully mentioned, he does have a serious side when it counts, but this topic was not one of them. I enjoy reading his articles b/c they’re not run of the mill, and whether I agree with him or not, they’re still entertaining to read and sometimes even insightful.
Written by Tom on June 14, 2009 at 8:36 am

I agree with those who say the WSOP has lost its luster for two reasons;
1. Too many bracelets are awarded which makes them not as impressive.
2. Bracelets are awarded in events that not many people actually play.
Of course it is all being done for money for Harrahs. I write as a player but not WSOP participant. To me the WSOP is a curiousity without much importance. The players I admire are those who make a nice living winning day after day in cash games. They probably would look to Rex like they aren’t having much fun, but winning regularily is definitely great fun.
Written by Justin on June 14, 2009 at 11:33 pm

I guess its just frustrating to have someone write about something you know a lot about, and just make fun of stuff because they don’t understand it. It’s pretty sad and not really funny at all actually. The only funny thing is that he gets paid to write this crap.
Written by keith on June 15, 2009 at 2:36 am

Then stop reading it Justin.
Written by SPRUNT on June 15, 2009 at 7:27 am

Limit poker is a different animal than NL. To Rex, it’s like bingo because he’s a big fan of NL and knows how to play that game. Limit poker is strictly a game of numbers and percentages. You’re not playing against the players, you’re playing against the odds. The money is secondary. The people who know the odds the best are the ones who fold earlier in the hand when they know their win percentage for the hand is low, thus they lose less money between winning hands.

In NL you are playing the player. Odds come into play a bit, but the ability to bet whatever you want allows you to “force” moves by the other player as well as knocking out players who are on a draw to the river. There are less “bad beats” in NL because you can do things like force a short stack to fold a weak hand by putting them all in. In limit, the short stack stays in because he knows he can’t lose any more than $X.

It’s all a matter of how you like to play. If you’re into odds and math, limit is just fine. If you like beating people rather than numbers, NL is the game of choice.

BTW, Justin, chill the fuck out. It sounds to me like you’re frustrated because you haven’t managed to graduate to playing real poker yet.
Written by desertrat on June 15, 2009 at 7:31 am

It’s funny how people feel they need to voice their dislike toward Rex on such a frequent basis, Justin, Ted, … If he sucks so badly, why do they bother reading any of his stuff? No one’s forcing these people to read anything. I don’t go to every site that I dislike to tell them they suck, if I did I would not be able to sleep, eat, or do anything else. I just don’t have that much time on my hands and I don’t care to. I prefer to spend my time visiting sites that I like. Rex, you have a lot of haters that like to read your stuff just to shit on you. Your readers also have very high expectations of you b/c of the high bar that you have set. Most everyone else can get away with shit and get praised for it, but if you write anything that displeases a single person, you’re damn sure going to hear about it. I actually feel sorry for you at times b/c so many people are so critical of you. I can’t help but feel some of these critics have personal agendas or are here from other sites that see you as competition. Either way, what hypocrites to call you negative when they come to your blog to make such hateful negative comments. There is no other Vegas blog where I can get all the diverse information that you share with us on such a frequent basis. I can always count on you to bring us the most entertaining and insightful version of what’s going on in Vegas. I can see photos and videos that I normally can’t find anywhere else. I personally enjoy reading both your blogs, so keep up the great work, and don’t let the haters get you down.
Written by Michelle on June 15, 2009 at 7:51 am

I think due to Rex’s popularity, he’s going to have his share of “haters”. But that only proves how relevant he is. If no one cared, no one would comment, positive or negative. Rex seems to stir up strong emotions either way. Most of his feedback is positive here, and every now and then a jackass feels the need to express their displeasure, but that’s what has set Rex apart from every other blogger, he wants us to voice our opinions, whatever they may be. Although, there is a big difference in being plain rude and having a difference in opinion.
Written by Justin on June 15, 2009 at 10:58 am

Good read sprunt, I’ve yet to graduate to real poker yet. My last name is Pechie and if you want to research my results you are more than welcome to. As far as the article goes, this guys an idiot and need to stick to writing about something he knows about is a category that poker clearly doesn’t fall under and anyone that mindlessly defends him because they think he is clever or witty needs to start thinking for themselves.
Written by cactusrose on June 15, 2009 at 11:45 am

Rex obviously struck a nerve. You wouldn’t give a shit if you were happy with where you are. Think for ourselves? Lol, Rex has the least mainstream thought of any blogger I’ve read and he always encourages everyone to think for themselves and that what he writes is his opinion. Obviously you haven’t noticed that most of his articles are not serious. They are for light entertainment. He seems to thrive on controversy and debates. Most of the time I read his blogs for fun, not to be lectured or how I should and shouldn’t do something. Life is serious enough, I just want a good laugh sometimes.
Written by jr34 on June 15, 2009 at 7:28 pm

Justin, we get the idea that you are a poker pro. From the way you write a sentence that make no sense,
it looks like that is the only job for which you are qualifed. You might want to go back and stay in the poker world where it appears an illiterate has a chance to make a living. This appears to be above your level of comprehension and understanding.
Written by Pi on June 17, 2009 at 2:08 pm

Lol, that’s what you get for giving us something to read Rex. If you didn’t write any articles, there would be nothing to shit on. How dare you entertain us! Haha!