ONLINE GAMBLING AND CASINO GUIDE

Recently, the Excalibur Poker Room went all-electronic.

They ditched dealers altogether.

The X is trying to save money, and save the room at the same time.

I went over there to play some cards and see what it was like.  I had never played on an electronic table before, so this whole experience was entirely new to me.

When I arrived, the X Poker Room staff was very friendly and helpful, and made great efforts to explain the system. The floor person will stand behind you as you play the first few hands until you get the hang of it. There is a “Call Floor” button on the table to summon a human quickly, and there is always a floor person nearby. You aren’t totally flying blind.

Before you can play, you have to sign up for a special Excalibur Poker Room card … which looks exactly like an MGM/Mirage Player’s Club Card. You are added to a waiting list, and when your name is called, you put cash on the card and then you swipe it at the table. From that point on, everything you do is added to or deducted from your account at the main server.

Currently, they have no limit games, but with low limits.  From .50/$1.00 up to $2/$5.

I took a seat at a .50/$1 NL game. I had never seen a game with such a low limit, and it fascinated me. It was also the most popular game with the longest waiting list.

In general, the players were not great, and I ended up making a reasonable amount of money. They all seemed like Internet players, and had little concept of real table interaction. It was awkward at times.

For instance, I doubled my stack on one hand. I had pocket J’s. I made a modest raise to narrow the field to 3.

The flop came J-5-2 rainbow.

Since the players were fairly loose, I decided to play it slow, so I checked.

The Internet Player (hereafter referred to as “IP”) to my left made a sizable raise, the next player folded.

I pushed all-in.

IP looked at me quizzically and squealed “check raise?”

I said nothing, as I thought what I had done was obvious and not in need of further clarification. I’m assuming that he makes these exclamations to his computer monitor at home, but I am usually very quiet when in a hand.

He thought for a moment, and then called me off.

Since I was all-in, the computer flipped the cards over, and showed the percentages like they do on TV (a cool feature).

He had a set of 5’s, I had a set of J’s.

He groaned the whole way to the river, then this exchange took place:

IP: “I knew you had pocket jacks!”

Me: “If you knew I had pocket jacks, why did you call me?”

IP: “I couldn’t fold a set of fives! I had to play them. Who in their right mind would fold a set of fives?”

Me: “Someone who knows his opponent has a set of jacks.”

He seemed utterly perplexed at my logic, and didn’t get the point.

The point was that he had no idea that I had jacks, and that he proved as much. Money talks, bullshit walks.

Apparently this is not a recognized tenant of Internet Poker.

He then sought the reassurance of other players. At least two of them comforted him with “Yeah, you can’t fold a set of fives.”

I’m not saying that I would have folded a set of 5’s either.  It’s a good hand.  Depending on the circumstances, I may have played them too.  But if I KNEW my opponent had a set of jacks, I would have laid them down immediately.

I had folded the previous 20 hands before this pre-flop, not even calling off a dollar. If a tight ass like me raises, the odds are very heavily in my favor. For whatever reason, the players at the table didn’t pick up on this, which was good for me.

Soon thereafter, I left the table.

Is it because I doubled up and that is my goal?

Partially. It seemed like these guys were good for more cash, but they were loose and lucky on many hands I saw, so one or two monsters is all the risk I wanted to take before donkey luck bit me in the ass.

What actually caused me to leave the table very early, was four Germans, all speaking German, unless they were insulting the Americans, in which case the Germans spoke English quite well.

I have never encountered this before. All physical tables in Vegas are English-only.

But there they were … four guys at the table speaking in their own secret code.

Contrary to popular belief, I am not obnoxious at the table.  I am courteous, I leave people alone and I don’t criticize anyone.  I don’t brag, boast, offer advice, or complain.  I just play and leave.

These guys, though … were obnoxious. They briefly paused to speak English, but only to insult an English player. When they would win they would taunt the American, then say something in German, and all four  would laugh in unison.

To say they were douchebags would be an understatement. They were twenty and thirty somethings, bathed in cologne, carefully coiffed, dressed in 80’s preppy clothes and they made creepy comments at every passing female.

The atmosphere was uncomfortable, and the collusion concerns that people have are very real, IMHO.

The lack of an English-only rule may be a problem.

As far as the machines themselves are concerned, they are actually pretty cool. They do indeed speed up play, once you get the hang of them. There are a myriad of personal options such as “always muck”, “away from table”, it shows you the last hand, including a play-by-play of how it went down … and a one that I wasn’t expecting, “Rabbit Hunt”.

For an additional $.50, you can rabbit hunt the previous hand on your screen, just to see if you would have made the flush if you hadn’t folded.

I did have a difficult time pressing the touch screen. It often wouldn’t acknowledge me, and I would have to repeatedly tap it or use the edge of my players card. From what I understand, these can be individually calibrated.

The rake was 10% or $3 max per hand, and there was no tipping (except for the waitress) which will certainly increase a frequent player’s bankroll over time.

The machine allows you to chop the pot if nobody calls the big blind, but both players have to agree. I always chop. The one time I tried to do it in the small blind, the German to my left refused, then bet at the flop. I folded my 9-3 offsuit and told him to buy something nice for himself with the fifty cents. Since that is post 1985 sarcasm, he’ll get it in another 20 years or so.

I really liked the $.50/$1 structure. There was plenty of action when the cards were in play, but I could easily afford to sit back and wait for a monster without paying much attention to the blinds.

I am very fond of the low blinds, fast play, technological options, and incredibly shitty players, but at times I felt as if I was getting the worst of both worlds. I had to get dressed and sit in traffic to sit in front of a computer screen as the people around me spoke to each other in a manner that I could not understand.

I am not 100% sure how different that is from Internet Poker, if at all. It’s kind of like an Internet Cafe where everyone is playing online poker against each other.

When I play poker, it is usually at a brick-and-mortar.  The X definitely attracts the Internet player crowd, and I am not really familiar with their culture, or lack thereof.

I think it may find a niche’. It’s the only all-electronic room in town, and the technology is very impressive. There are no misdeals or misread hands, everyone gets the correct number of chips, and there is no tipping. It certainly solves some problems with human dealers.

I don’t think they will ever replace real dealers anymore than video blackjack got rid of real tables, but there will be a draw.

I like what they are doing and they have the right attitude. The staff is fantastic and helpful. You get a $4 food comp if you play for a few hours, and the cocktail waitresses come by about every 15 minutes. If they could stop the Tower of Babel thing, it would be better.

This type of poker is certainly not for everyone, but it’s for enough people that I think it could do well.

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