ONLINE GAMBLING AND CASINO GUIDE

Don’t get too excited, the “e” at the end is not a misspelling.

Today I spent some time in a casino that is not quite obscure, but also one that is not exactly on most people’s short list either.

Sandwiched between the upscale glamor of the Venetian, the middle-class nirvana that is Harrah’s, and across the street from the Mirage mega-resort, sits a claustrophobic tunnel of carefully controlled chaos known as Casino Royale.

Royale is actually a bit of an enigma.  Most people are aware that the casino exists, but an extraordinary large amount of Las Vegas visitors have never actually been inside of the property, and an even larger number of people have absolutely no idea that the casino actually has a hotel.

Given the location of the hotel, such people should be forgiven.  It’s possibly the only hotel on The Strip that is not actually visible from Las Vegas Boulevard.  Rather, it is tucked directly behind the casino in front of the Royale parking garage, and it is only a few stories high.  The 152 room hotel is laid out in somewhat of a bizarre configuration, and the fastest way to waste $20 in Las Vegas would be to check into Casino Royale and bribe the clerk for a “Strip view”.

The look and feel of this property reminds me of a cross between O’Sheas and Slots A Fun.  The gambling hall consists of many rows of very densely packed games in an absolutely no-frills environment.  The table offerings are almost always crowded, and the casino has a loyal following.

Just about every video game in existence is packed into the smallish space and the table games have limits that are reasonable – $3 Craps and Blackjack can be found, and Roulette is $1 with a $4 minimum per spin. They have a wide variety of more modern games such as Three Card Poker, and they also offer a somewhat popular game called “Blackjack Switch”.

The rules of BJ Switch are intriguing at first.  Basically, you have to play two Blackjack hands at a time, betting an equal amount on each.  After the cards are dealt, and assuming the dealer does not have a natural … you have the option of keeping your hand or switching the second card of each hand … to the other hand.  For instance, if you are dealt 9-A on one hand, and K-10 on the other hand, you can switch the Ace to the King to make a Blackjack, and switch the ten to the nine for 19.

You may double and split after the “switch”, and play as you would any other normal Blackjack hand.

Obviously, this sounds quite advantageous to the player and is almost too good to be true.

Alas, like most things in Vegas … the devil is in the details.

First of all, “Blackjack” pays even money in this game … which is to say … there are no “Blackjacks” at all.   If hitting a natural pays no more than standing on 13 vs. a dealer bust, then I fail to see the thrill of being dealt ten, ace.

Second, the dealer does not bust on 22.  If the dealer draws to a 22, all bets at the table are pushed and for all intents and purposes … the hand never happened.

I have no idea what the House Advantage is on this game, but if I had to take a wild guess, I would assume that the edge is greater than 6:5.

While Casino Royale touts and pushes this game arguably more than any other property, the game does exist in a few other casinos.  Bills, Suncoast, Four Queens, and a couple of other “bargain-tier” properties in Vegas offer this particular game.

I actually visit Casino Royale on a semi-regular basis, but it’s not for the happening Switch Blackjack (which I have yet to play with my own cash).  One of the primary reasons I use the property is because  Casino Royale has one of the most convenient and under-utilized parking garages on The Strip.  Save for New Year and some special events, there is almost always a quick space to be had, and the walk from the garage to the Boulevard itself is about 60 seconds.  There is also an outlet to Koval which means you can get out without having to drive on The Strip itself.

Dare I opine that this is one of those minor “hidden gems” that fly under the radar.

It is because of this garage that I was at Royale today.  I had someone to meet with at the Venetian, and being far too early on account of light traffic, I spent some quality time in Royale trying  to achieve billionaire status.  I played a little Bonus Video Poker, bet some bones (I did not roll today), and I played about twenty hands of Three Card Poker.  When all was said and done, I cashed out $4.75 heavier than I started with.  So much for the billions, I’ll have to settle for a six inch sub.

But the Royale fun was not over.

As I was leaving, I decided to finally stand in line for the tourist trap novelty free spin machines that are located on the sidewalk in front of the property.

I used to play the free machines at the Trop, but I generally pass these things by because I am acutely aware that you really don’t “win” anything.

There seemed to be a greater-than-usual interest in these promo machines today, however, so I went ahead and sprung for the zero dollars to take a shot.

The concept behind these promo slots is that you get four spins to hit a payout … the payout of which is free slot play inside Casino Royale.

I waited my turn, stepped up to the machine, and mashed the buttons.  I got nothing.  Apparently I (or someone else) mashed the button one too many times because the carnival-barker lady said “one try per person” or something to that effect.  Honestly, this is the first time I had tried this particular promo and I didn’t know my spins were up, but since nobody stopped me …  I continued.  On my last spin of my second attempt, I hit the holy grail of promo spins.  $100 in free slot play.

Even though these were ill-gotten gains, I presented my victory to the lady (who was not terribly friendly), and she gave me a coupon.  I was instructed that I had to exchange the ticket she gave me for some kind of Casino Royale scrip before the 24 hour expiration date of the ticket.

Pressed for time, I hurriedly found my way to the Foreign Exchange guy, turned in my ticket, and received my counterfeit money.  This guy was also not terribly friendly, and pointed to a bank of promo machines in the corner.

“You can play those”, he said as he pointed to the bank while not even looking at me.

“I’m in a hurry, can I play it tomorrow?”, I asked.

“Sure, whatever”, he said.

And they say service with a smile is dead in Las Vegas.

And so I shall return to Royale tomorrow with a fistful of Itchy and Scratchy Dollars, intent on hitting it big with my $100 in free slot play and finally making enough money to wrangle that threeway with Jessica Alba and Taylor Hanson … the two hottest chicks on the planet.

On a side note, as I was leaving Royale, I noticed a building under construction and I stopped to speak with one of the workers.  Being the nosy SOB that I am, I pulled as much information out of him as possible, which is to say … not much.

“Are you guys adding to Casino Royale?”, I asked.

“Yep”, he replied.

“Is it an addition to the hotel or the casino?”, I said.

“The casino, we aren’t doing anything to the hotel”, he said.

“So you are making Casino Royale larger?”, I inquired back.

“Yep, we’re making it bigger, and it’s scheduled to open … ” (he saw that I was actually paying attention to what he was saying and seemed to get nervous) “wait, don’t quote me, I don’t know what’s going on, I just work here.”

I hereby retract all of the quotation marks used above.

If this guy ever loses his construction job, there is a cushy position waiting for him at Apple Computer, Inc.

Anyway, $100 in free play, here I come!

If you have vacation plans, cancel them.

This time tomorrow, there isn’t going to be any money left in Las Vegas for the rest of you.

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