Let The Games Begin
May 29, 2010
It’s hard to believe that it’s already been a year, but today kicked off the 2010 World Series of Poker.
2010 World Series of Poker at the Rio
2010 World Series of Poker at the Rio
2010 World Series of Poker at the Rio
2010 World Series of Poker at the Rio
Of course, the Main Event still doesn’t begin for another month, but it feels like only yesterday that I was perusing the halls of the 2009 event.
When I went over to the Rio to check out the preliminary tournaments today, I ran into a situation which I had heard about, but had never witnessed first-hand.
Standing outside near the red carpet, random grinders were cutting deals with other players and benefactors. People were showing up to the event without money and were trying to get staked on the spot. It kind of reminded me of trying to get picked for dodgeball.
One guy was saying “I came in 4th at the blah blah tournament last month”, and another guy was pimping his son and trying to get him into a tournament. An older man (whom I assume had money) pointed at two guys saying “I’ll take 10% of you, and 20% of you”. It was really kind of fascinating. Not only were players trying to hustle buy-ins, but stakers hung outside the World Series of Poker purchasing stock in other players.
I thought about putting myself on the market, but it occurred to me that if I came in last place, I’d probably be offed and buried next to Jamie. Seriously, the old man buying shares in players didn’t look like a dude I would want to be indebted to.
“Hey, I saw you bet $5,000 on J-6 post-flop. We need to talk in my car.”
I passed.
2010 World Series of Poker at the Rio
2010 World Series of Poker at the Rio
2010 World Series of Poker at the Rio
2010 World Series of Poker at the Rio
2010 World Series of Poker at the Rio
2010 World Series of Poker at the Rio
2010 World Series of Poker at the Rio
When I got inside the Rio, I realized that the event was still being set up, but there was already one tournament in progress.
I stood in the spectator area for about 15 minutes and watched gameplay, but nothing exciting really happened. I mean, one guy flipped a card while mucking, and that was kind of thrilling, but no ninja battles broke out or anything.
While I was standing and watching, one player summoned a masseuse over to massage his back, and she began diligently working on him. She drove her elbow into his back, bent his neck forward, and generally beat the hell out of him. It looked painful, but he seemed to enjoy it.
Getting Massaged While Playing at Table
The table-side back massages have always seemed a bit weird to me. I’m way too self-conscious to get one myself, but even when someone else is getting one, it still feels a bit awkward. It’s another one of those areas where appropriate manners escape me.
For instance, is it considered rude to look at the guy while he is getting a back rub? Since massages are private services, wouldn’t this be like talking to someone while they are masturbating?
What about the masseuse? Are you supposed to pretend that she isn’t there, and is it considered rude to talk to her? After all, some other guy is paying her for her time, so wouldn’t yapping to the massage lady be like making a personal phone call to the woman working the Burger King drive-thru?
Why in the hell do poker players need table-side massages anyway? Is this what the USA has come to? Are we really at the point where holding up three ounces of cardboard is now considered manual labor?
Back in the 1990’s, I rode my bike in the New York City Bicycle Marathon. The course was 105.8 miles, and upon completion, we got t-shirts, food, and massages. On that day, I partook of a public rubdown, but I think this one was excusable. For Christ’s sake … I had just spent 5 hours peddling my ass off and navigating one obstruction after another. Even then, we were taken to a special “massage area” of Union Square Park where everyone was getting a massage. This made things less weird.
A poker game, though?
Come on, man. You ought to be ashamed of yourselves.
Poker is a game that requires you to sit on your ass and listen to a walkman for 3 hours straight. If you get sore from that, then your name is Steven Hawking.
I digress.
One of these years, I’m going to play in the WSOP, but it doesn’t look like this year will be the magical one. Even though the prize is enticing, I simply cannot imagine dropping ten large for a poker tournament, and I didn’t really look for satellites this year.
For everyone else, however, the game is on.
The World Series of Poker 2010 is officially in session.
If you happen to be playing this time around … good luck. Unless you’re an asshole.
Written by keith on May 29, 2010 at 1:40 am
you should ask the masseuse if she offers any “special favors” with the massage.
at least that would make 3 hours sitting around and mucking hand after hand seem … not so bad.
Written by KarenTN on May 29, 2010 at 12:37 pm
’sit on your ass and listen to a Walkman for three hours straight’………a walkman, Rex? really?
Written by astrobel on May 29, 2010 at 1:20 pm
I don’t get massage while playing poker because I’d have to put it up there with rake and tips as an expense and those are already unavoidable money leaks… too much for my calculating brain to deal with.
However, in the middle of a long session you REALLY get all tight and achy occasionally. Especially if you work full time in an office. Imagine the amount of hours your body stays holding the same posture ( or trying to ).
Written by ColinFromLasVegas on May 29, 2010 at 3:08 pm
Wow, Rex. I didn’t realize people hawk themselves like that before the tournament starts. Kinda making themselves out to be a fool. Kind of like pimps and prostitutes or something.
Seems like people are willing to throw their scruples, morales and beliefs out the window for that chance, gimme that one chance, to be somebody, to play in a poker game, to be on TV for at least fifteen minutes, to be discovered, subsequently ending up on their own reality based TV show based upon poker abilities and astuteness and guts, coupled with their ability to have a gift of gab and their incredible sense of humor, to hit the BIG TIME, with, who knows? Maybe a chance to guest host on Leno. Maybe even having a world famous blog that wins awards by some guy in Las Vegas….the name escapes me…can’t remember who…..
Sounds dumb. You painted a picture that kind of looks like a slave market in Morocco or something. It just amazes me how quickly people can be bought and sold and misled and led around like a mule with a carrot on a stick.
As you can tell, that shit ain’t for me. I can’t be bought. I’ll stay just a regular poor ass and happy guy.
As a side note, and I think you touched on this on one of your blogs… Did you ever notice that people participating in poker tournaments all seem to think they have to conform to some kind of wacky dress code from hell?
For example… When guys are in poker tournaments, especially the young ones, they dress like they are about ready to do an armed robbery on a bank or an armored car or something like that. Hoodies. Sunglasses. And it’s required when they sit there, they get all hunkered and hunched down, trying to hide and present as small a target as possible. Like that shit is gonna help them not be seen. It seems like they all got this belief if they look like the drawing from the Unabomber’s wanted poster, it will help them. And it don’t. And it don’t even hide mannerisms and “tells.”
The women, on the other hand, usually go for a mixture of sunglasses and showing cleavage. They kinda go for that hiding the eyes so they don’t give away bluffs combined with distract the shit outta the youngsters dressed like armed robberers sitting at the table. Hell, this might be more successful than what the guys do. Who knows…
Perhaps I stereotype too much. But it sure is a plastic world. Reality kinda gets thrown out the window.
Anyways, enjoyed the article.
Written by FleaStiff on May 29, 2010 at 9:52 pm
Sell ten percent of yourself over and over again … and then get kicked out of the WSOP early.
Written by Tom on May 29, 2010 at 11:49 pm
Thanks for the photos in the hallway because seeing the banners above the doorways tells me that Harrahs has fixed one weakness and the WSOP is now more friendly to spectators.
Written by The Fonz on May 31, 2010 at 6:03 pm
i enjoy watching the WSOP on ESPN, although i don’t have cable, so i don’t get to do that very often. so naturally i was interested in your perspective on the event.
but what grabbed me is the fact you biked 100+ miles in 5 hours… that’s moving! i’ve biked centuries several times, and even factoring out rest breaks it typically takes me more than 6 hours to complete 100 miles.
Written by gowhitesox99 on June 1, 2010 at 4:13 am
Did you just say walkman?
Written by edzeplin on June 2, 2010 at 4:18 am
I like the entrepreneurial aspect of selling or buying shares of players. Staking gamblers in games of skill has been around for a very long time. I’ve made some decent money staking pool players into tournaments, and they were happy to split the winnings. It’s a pleasant surprise that the Rio is allowing these deals to be made within public view.
This thing lasts more than a month, and I’m sure even the best players have some investors backing them in some way. It’d be even more interesting if there was a Calcutta type of auction for each of the smaller events. Unknown players could buy themselves at a very low cost compared to the hitters, but events with entries this large, a Calcutta for each one would be impracticable.