My Own Private Recession
January 4, 2010
Being VegasRex isn’t cheap.
The Las Vegas Strip
Even though the cost of living in Vegas is relatively low when compared to that of other major cities, it can be outrageously expensive in other respects.
For instance, every time someone you know visits Vegas, they are on vacation with their completely disposable income, and they expect you to act in-kind.
Imagine living in Orlando and having everyone you know want to meet at Disney World every time they fly in. Now imagine that they fly in at least once per week. By the end of the year, the mouse would own all of your money.
The Las Vegas Strip
Vegas is similar.
Be they people I’ve known for decades or people I only “know” online, I can honestly say that not one single night passes where I don’t know at least one person who is visiting our fair city, and I try to touch base as often as I can. It adds up quickly, though. Not only that, but you feel genuinely bad if you don’t treat them — because after all, they have absolutely no idea that this is your 15th such dinner this month.
Locals, stop me if you’ve heard this one:
“No, I don’t want to meet at the Food Court, this is Vegas, Baby! Let’s go to Craftsteak!”
Of course, you can interchange Craftsteak with your favorite restaurant or bar, but you get the point.
People don’t come to Las Vegas to meet up in libraries or public parks. Neither do they come to Las Vegas to eat at Sbarro or nurse a coffee from Starbucks. They come to eat heavily marked up casino restaurant food, drink heavily marked up bar beverages, and to drop generous gratuities in our tip-fueled economy. This is what they should do. They’re on vacation.
Obviously, as a resident, I take more of a measured approach. It’s not that I’m cheap, it’s that I have other things going on and it would be a terrible investment to dine out every, single, solitary day. Hell, even a paltry $10 daily tip is nearly $4,000/year, and the only thing you get in return for that is a smile. At least it used to buy a smile. These days it will buy a grumbling about what a cheapskate you are.
While I have no problem “meeting for dinner or drinks” 18 days each year like a typical Vegas-centric tourist (6 visits x 3 days), 365 days is tricky. More often than not, I politely decline and people just think I’m an ass. This maintains the status-quo because they thought I was an ass anyway, and it also prevents me from going completely broke.
This weekend, however, I made an exception.
Since it was “a holiday weekend” I conceded not once, not twice, but several times to a few dinner/drink endeavors. Be it at the Bellagio Buffet, Sushi Samba, View Bar, or the aforementioned Craftsteak … I was a regular socialite.
Of course, good times have a price, and when it came time for me to play my customary Sunday poker session, I was decidedly short stacked. I knew that I was using my bankroll for raw fish, booze, beef, and tips over the previous three days — but for Christ’s sake, it didn’t hit me just how much I was into it until I opened my wallet after sitting down at the card table.
Ouch.
Fortunately, I quickly remembered that I was the greatest poker player alive.
MGM and NYNY on the Las Vegas Strip
“It’s okay”, I told myself, “instead of one double, I’ll just make a quick hit at MGM and take that money for one more double at the Mandalay Bay. I’ll be back where I started from”.
The great thing about goals is that they allow you to blissfully postpone failure.
Almost immediately after taking a seat, the cards were dealt, and I peeked at mine.
What I saw gave me cause for enthusiasm.
Holy mother of Moses, this was going to be the greatest year ever!
On my very first hand of the session, my very first hand of year, on the very first hand of the decade … I got pocket rockets. American Airlines. Bullets. Sweet Dick Willy. The Flying Albatross.
All of the above being nicknames for, of course, pocket aces. Both of them also happened to be red. How festive.
I bet, and I was called twice.
The flop was 10-8-5 with two spades.
Check, small raise, fold, call. I was now heads up.
The turn brought an Ace of spades. Doh!
This was my very first hand. I had no idea how my opponent played. Not even the slightest clue. Obviously I couldn’t read the guy. I may as well have been playing online. I had a set, but there were three spades on the board. I hate it when I have zero idea what to do.
I thought it out. If he didn’t already have the spades, I sure hell wasn’t going to check and let him catch it. If he already did have the spades, I was going down anyway. I felt my best shot was to push him off of a chase, or to just get the inevitable over with.
I pushed in, and he called.
We unzipped our flies, compared dicks, and his was bigger. Two spades.
The river brought a 3, I congratulated my opponent, and thus represents my Hole’ Em record for the year to date.
To sum it up … in 2010 … I have played exactly one hand of poker, and in that one hand, I lost it all.
In retrospect, I wish I would have had a few more meals over the weekend. I would have enjoyed myself longer, and the outcome would have been exactly the same … a steaming pile of crap.
Written by ScottChompson on January 4, 2010 at 11:28 pm
“The great thing about goals is that they allow you to blissfully postpone failure.”
Look at the bright side, you’re only one double up from breaking even for the year.
Written by Pipeguy on January 4, 2010 at 11:39 pm
Well, at least you started 2010 with a bang on the amusing side of things:
this comment alone will be hard to top all year long:
“We unzipped our flies, compared dicks, and his was bigger. Two spades.”
LMAO!!!! i’ve said it countless times: you are one of (if not) the most gifted bloggers on the net…if i was Ruppert Murdoch you’d have your own show on fox or your daily column in all my newspapers, and you’d be stinking rich and you’d have no need to deal with poker bad beats.
cheers
Written by BigRedDogATL on January 5, 2010 at 2:00 am
Hey, I’ve been to Vegas many times and not once have bothered you and asked for a meet-up. And if I did, I wouldn’t expect you to pay since I was doing the invite.
Case in point, on my last trip I met with another blogger who happens to live in Vegas. We met for dinner and dessert and I paid for both of us. Then we went up to my room and I gave her lessons on her new camera and shot photos of the strip from just a few floors below the Fountain Room. Only thing it cost her was the gas in her car to get there from her house.
Best way to treat it when someone asks to meet up, say “hey if your buying then I’ll be there”. If they really want you along then they should be willing to pick up your tab. If not, then who needs them anyway.
Now it is a different story if you contact the person and invite them. For example if Rex said to me, “hey lets meet up at the Luv-It Custard Stand”, then I would expect him to pay for the Greg Ferguson special.
Moral of the story is that the person who invites should be the person who pays. (Only expection is the brothels in Pahrump)
Written by ColinFromLasVegas on January 5, 2010 at 4:12 am
Hell, Rex, I’ll buy you a cup of coffee and a bagel or somethin’ at Starbucks. It’s on me since you’re a broke ass blogger now.
Written by Limey on January 5, 2010 at 11:08 am
Next time I’m in Vegas I will treat you to the best meal in town. On my last visit before Christmas the best meal I had was from the Chinese counter in the food court at the factory outlet south of the strip.
It was the tastiest, hottest and cheapest meal I had in the all time I was in Vegas and I didn’t have to tip for smile……Limey
Written by philipS on January 5, 2010 at 2:12 pm
I think BigRedDogATL nailed it Rex. While I come to vegas 2 to 3 times a year and will be in the my “disneyland” later in January, I don’t think it is approprate for a reader of your Blog to ask you to meet and they respectfully wait for you to pay.
I was always told that if you invite someone to dinner, then pick up the freakin check. although I have never been invited to pahrump, I do hear that it might have to be dutch……
who knows Rex – maybe we will run into each other at a poker table this trip.
Written by doubledownnow on January 5, 2010 at 2:56 pm
Rex, like the other poster said, if some tourist invites you to join them when they’re in town, they should at least offer to pay for your drinks, meal, etc. That’s just proper etiquette!
Written by barfine on January 5, 2010 at 2:59 pm
I can understand that. If I was one of your friends of family members, I’d only want to go shooting with you as I’m and amateur photographer. I was there a month a go with one of my best friends, and only had the chance to take a few pictures, which wasn’t near as many as I wanted to take. I was cool with it cause he is one of my best friends that I only get to see once every few years. Yep, If I were in your shoes, I’d probably handle it in a similar way.
Written by working in Vegas on January 5, 2010 at 4:33 pm
I tell you what Rex,
If I can ever get out there as a traveler RN, I’ll buy you dinner, your blogs are awsome. Plus maybe I can get some great pictures.
Written by FleaStiff on January 5, 2010 at 10:37 pm
Okay, so he had five spades in no particular sequence and that beat your three of a kind, but there is still the famed Keno lounge awaiting your professional skills.
And the year is still young…
who knows maybe you will learn to mooch off the visiting dignataries and insist that they spring for the Slots a Fun hot-dog or something.
Think of the great advantage you now have… you’ve started the year off by not getting over-confident.
Written by Aaron on January 6, 2010 at 11:58 pm
the book says, “you’ll either win a small pot or lose a big one….” with pA’s. My only question, is, if you’ve seen 2 spades on the flop why wait until the turn to push in? (if you are in fact going to push in at all) T00he only one that will call you is the one that has you beat. IMHO, by pushing in on the flop, you at least had a shot of the guy folding his draw.
Written by Jason A on January 7, 2010 at 3:59 am
That’s what you get for waking up in Vegas
Written by LizzieGirl on January 9, 2010 at 2:16 pm
Any restaurant – your choice. On me. Any time. ANY TIME.