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Even though I typically don’t leave the central city often, there is one place that I go somewhat frequently when I just want to get away from this cesspool in the desert.

That place is Red Rock Canyon.

By the way, I personally took every photo in this article with my own camera. It illustrates how fearlessly the burros approach a 6′3″ man with a camera aimed directly at them. They have absolutely no fear of humans whatsoever.

Sometimes when I just want to get away from it all, I just go and drive the loop.

Today was one of those days.

The “loop” is the designated paved road which winds through Red Rock Canyon.

It takes anywhere from half an hour to an hour to drive the 13 mile loop, and you actually climb to 4,700 feet along the way.   That’s roughly the equivalent in altitude of the “mile high” City of Denver.

There is no smog on the loop.  There are no crackwhores, no time share greeters, no porn slappers, no gang bangers, no enraged meth addictions, and few tourists.  Red Rock is really the only place in Las Vegas to get away from those things, and this was one of those days that I needed to get away.

I didn’t do any hiking or walking today, rather, I just drove the loop and headed back into town.

It was enough to prevent me from going postal.

Barely.

For the past few years I have held a yearly pass to Red Rock Canyon, and I doubt I am going to give it up anytime soon.

The single entry pass is $5, and the yearly pass is $20, so the yearly pass for locals is really a no-brainer.

Actually Lake Mead is the other quick getaway from Vegas, and I have made quite a few trips there … but it’s my second choice.  It doesn’t look like much in the winter, and it smells like a toilet in the summer.  And for good reason.  It is a toilet.  Lake Mead is the source of our drinking water, and the resting place for our turds when we flush the commode.

And people wonder why I buy bottled water.

Anyway, my one hour getaway of choice is more often than not … Red Rock Canyon.

I don’t usually just zoom through like I did today.  I usually park and walk around the dozens of paths that cut through the canyon.  One of the things that freaks me out a little is the lack of cellphone coverage. Sometimes I catch a bar, but often times I get nothing.  If I break my ankle down on one of the steeper paths while alone, I’m pretty much as good as dead.

I always make sure I am very careful when hiking Red Rock, because I know that Steve Wynn would be very upset if something bad were to happen to me.

While the scenery is cool, my absolute favorite aspect of Red Rock is the wild burros that roam freely throughout the area.  These large donkey creatures are all over the place, and are surprisingly tame.

As a matter of fact, if you stop your car with the window down, it is not uncommon for one of these beasts to stick their head through the window and take a look around.

When I go up to Red Rock, I like to take a couple of apples to give to the burros.  They will come right up and eat it out of your hand. Although there are some shy and standoffish burros, most of them will let you pet them.

There is some controversy over whether or not it is harmful to feed the animals.  Apparently they become too dependent on man, and they can become so tame as to lose their innate fear of humans.  Being that we are a pretty nasty species, evolution dictates that they should fear us.

The way I see it, the damage has already been done with regards to the burros that inhabit Red Rock Canyon.   They are already so conditioned to humans that it just seems cruel to try and scare them away.  If I was out in the desert 200 miles north of Vegas, I would not approach wildlife.  These creatures are almost dog-like, though.  I don’t think my feeding or petting them is going to spoil them any more than they already are.

Also, I’m walking and driving through their turf, not the other way around.   I may as well bring a gift.  It just seems like the polite thing to do.

Of course, this being Las Vegas, it would be nearly impossible not to exploit something … so in 2005 Station Casinos built their crown jewel casino at the base of Red Rock Canyon.

The casino is known as, what else, Red Rock Casino Resort and Spa.

This is hardly an obscure locals casino, rather, it is one of the few off-strip casinos that is considered on-par with the likes of The Mirage or Mandalay Bay.  People actually fly from across the globe to stay 12 miles off-strip at the Red Rock Casino.

I was at Red Rock the day it opened, and when I lived on the west side, I was a semi-regular there.  I played poker there every Saturday and Sunday morning, and we had somewhat of a breakfast club thing going on.

Since moving down here to The Strip I don’t get out there as often as I used to, but I still go out to eat lunch, hang out by the pool, and I still play poker there every now and then.

For those of you who may be baseball fans, Red Rock is actually Orel Hershiser’s home room.  You can find him there many nights playing 2/5 No Limit.  I won’t comment much on his poker playing other than to say that he is a great pitcher.

About a month ago, a buddy of mine lost $750 when he flopped a set of 8’s, and Orel hit an inside straight on the river.  That’s all I’m going to say.

Anyway, Red Rock is actually a decent compliment to the canyon itself.  Since it’s on the opposite side of the hill, it’s not visible from the canyon and doesn’t really intrude into the wildlife itself.

The other cool thing about the casino is that it is at one of the highest points in the Las Vegas Valley.  It’s often a couple of degrees cooler than The Strip, and it is the casino most likely to get snow during one of our improbable snowstorms.

The view of The Strip on clear days is also quite impressive.

When I played there often, I never once had to pay for a meal because the Boarding Pass program was, and still is, the best player’s club in Las Vegas.

I swear, if Stations put a large casino with the Boarding Pass program on The Strip, they would have the low to middle rollers in the palm of their hand.

With the 2x and 3x points they offered during the week, I only had to play a few hours per month to have everything in the property comped.

The Feast Buffet is great, the pool is great, really … other than the aggressive security guards, the place is as good as you will find in Las Vegas.

The remote location is problematic if you like casino-hopping, but if you can bunker down in one property for a few days, Red Rock is damn near as good as any.

I miss the Red Rock, and I may start playing there a little more often than I have in the past year.

As my patience down here wears a little more thin as the economic depression spreads to everyone around me, I will probably be hitting the loop fairly often in 2009.

On my way back, I will stop by the poker room.

Rumor has it that there’s some retired pitcher at the 2/5 table who is almost always good for gas money.

Assuming he doesn’t hit a miracle straight on the river, of course.

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