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After a nearly four month hiatus, The World Series of Poker continued today at the Penn & Teller Theater in the Rio Hotel and Casino.

This is the second year that the tournament has had the “gap” format of play, and I haven’t personally warmed up to it yet.

When I was younger, I hated “to be continued” television episodes, and I typically didn’t watch anything with a soap opera format.  I remember the the whole “Who Shot J.R.?” fiasco, and I remember openly wondering why anyone would care.

To this day, I don’t watch shows like “Lost” or “Prison Break”, because I need closure to be satisfied.  I simply cannot commit an hour of my life each week to be teased and unfulfilled.

I don’t understand the appeal of cliffhangers.

Imagine sitting on a massage table, and 10 seconds before your happy ending culminated, the masseuse told you to come back in two months.  Who would find that appealing?

Imagine if the Super Bowl halftime break was three months long.  How many people would stick around for the end of the game?  How many people would even bother watching the first half?

If the “Final Table” was a playoff-style championship game where the players started out with an equal amount of chips, I might be able to get into it as a completely separate game, but this is not the case.

The final table will be comprised of people known as the “November Nine”.  Chip leader, Darvin Moon, has $58 million in chips, and the short stack, James Akendhead, has $6 Million.  This is a ninefold difference.  It’s like the Patriots leading 63-7 in the third quarter.

I know that Poker is a somewhat different animal with more players, and the potential for comebacks are greater, but the unevenness of the playing field coupled with the tight spread of payouts take some of the excitement out of it.

For example, 9th place pays $1,263,602 – 8th place pays $1,300,000 – and 7th place pays $1,404,002.

After taxes, it’s not a huge difference and the prizes don’t exponentially gap until places 1 through 3.

Fortunately for the promoters and the network, Phil Ivey has made it to the final table, but he is only starting out with $9 million in chips.  If he pulls out one hell of a comeback, the November episode has the potential to be interesting to a large audience.  If not, well, it becomes like watching any other game comprised of people you’ve never heard of.

Since I won’t see the Final Table on TV (I have neither a television or cable), I headed over to the Rio this morning to check out the goings-on in person.

When I got there, I was extremely surprised by the length of the line to get inside.  It stretched from the P&T Theater all the way back to the convention halls.

Unfortunately, there was not much to see and do outside of the theater itself.  The festivities were scaled down a great deal from the July event.  There were not may exhibits, and the action consisted of huge numbers of people looking to catch a glimpse of their favorite poker players.

I saw several players that I didn’t recognize (I don’t follow professional poker players closely), but I did recognize Jesus.  He looks exactly like he does in the Bible.  I remember watching this guy a couple of years ago on a televised special about card tricks, and I saw him slice a banana with a playing card by throwing it from several feet away.

Given that he used to part the Red Sea, turn water into wine, and walk on water, I always felt this particular trick was a bit beneath him.

I was a little excited that I finally found Jesus, though.  People have been telling me forever that Jesus loves me, but I always respond that I didn’t swing that way.  I was also never convinced that they were telling the truth, so I decided to just straight-up ask.

As he was standing in front of me, I asked “Jesus, do you love me?”, and all I got was a quick dirty look.

This confirms what I’ve always known.  Christians are full of s**t.

After my spiritual encounter, a bunch of unusual guys came running through the lobby shouting something unintelligible in unison.  I haven’t the slightest idea what they were chanting, but feel free to try to figure it out on your own.

The live turnout was much heavier than I expected.  I’ve no idea why anyone would wait in a quarter-mile line to watch some guys play poker, but these people probably have no idea why I sit in a dark closet and cry for three hours a day.

Some things we just weren’t meant to understand.

The format this year will be slightly different from last year in that there will be yet another cliffhanger added, albeit a far shorter one.

Play began today at noon, and will continue until two players remain.  Instead of finishing the game on the spot, the top two players will get a day off to rest, “do press”, and they will re-convene on Monday Night at 10pm to play the heads-up match.

The finale will not be broadcast live on TV, rather, a recording of the heads-up game will be televised Tuesday night on ESPN.

With all of the start-stop action, it almost feels as though the WSOP promoters have hired The Pixies to choreograph the event.

Whether or not this translates into increased ratings remains to be seen.

It goes without saying that most everyone in Vegas is rooting for the WSOP to be a commercial success as it has been in the past.  It’s one of our signature events, and one might even opine that it’s our own personal Super Bowl.

I’m not a personal fan of the new cliffhanger format, but at least the promoters are getting into the game and mixing it up a bit.

Now if you will excuse me, I’m off to the nearest search engine.

I just realized that it’s been nearly 30 years, and I can’t for the life of me remember who actually did shoot J.R., although I have a sneaking suspicion that it was Maggie from The Simpsons.

Congratulations to whoever wins the WSOP 2009, and congratulations to Harrah’s and ESPN for what appears, at least in person, to be a crowd-pleaser.

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