October 30, 2008
The idiosyncrasies of this town really never cease to keep life interesting.
For those of you who are not aware, we have gaming machines everywhere. They are in 7-11, K-Mart, gas stations, the airport, and yes … even grocery stores and pharmacies. Pretty soon we will probably have them in doctor’s offices, maternity wards, police stations, and methadone clinics. I mean, it makes sense to go ahead and prey on people’s addictions … it’s the Las Vegas way.
Anyway, I recently decided to walk over to Albertson’s to pick up a few things.
Believe it or not, in Las Vegas there are actual human beings who still require food and water for sustenance.
Yeah, I’m as surprised as you are.
Most people think we are just stupid, conniving, filthy creatures who feed on the misery of others … and while true to a certain extent, we also like the occasional peanut butter and jelly sandwich every now and then.
Those of you who don’t live on the West Coast may not be familiar with the store, but here in Vegas … Albertson’s is one of the largest grocery/drug store chains.
On this particular day when I headed over to the store to procure some food, I witnessed something that I have never witnessed in all my years of living and visiting here … or anywhere else.
A man hit a $20,000 Royal Flush … in the grocery store!
I’m not kidding … and I have the first-hand pictures to prove it. These photos were taken with my very own cellphone camera.
Living in this town really is like jumping through the other side of the looking glass and living in a parallel reality.
Where else in the world can you drop by the store to pick up a loaf of bread, and leave $20,000 richer?
This is something that I might expect at the Bellagio or the Venetian … but at Albertson’s???
The man was older (I would estimate in his early 60′s), and I spoke with him for a bit after his jackpot. He was quite happy to discuss it.
He informed me that he had stopped by the store to buy his lunch.
While I was speaking with him, he actually had his lunch sitting right next to him in a plastic bag, and because he had already gotten his lunch, he sat down to play the machine only for a brief period of time. After hitting the Royal, he said that he no longer had an appetite, and that his five dollar lunch was going to waste.
For the record, I will gladly sell anyone a sandwich for $20,000.
I just wanted to float that out there in the event that anyone might want to take me up on it at any point.
But I digress …
The man had put $100 into the machine, quickly worked his way up to $150, and then hit “bet max” for the first time of the session … then he hit the Royal Flush.
He was just wasting a little time, and playing the machine for the novelty factor.
He also told me that he had just moved to Las Vegas, and had only been here for a few days. What a welcome!
There was a large amount of chaos when the gentleman hit his Royal. It had never happened before at this particular store, and the cashier did not have anywhere close to twenty thousand dollars in cash to pay him.
While she was furiously making phone calls to come up with the money, the man purchased a disposable camera from the nearby film counter to capture the occasion … and I imagine to use as evidence in case they tried to pull the “What Royal Flush?” routine on him by unplugging the machine. Given that grocery store machines aren’t meant to pay out, it sure as hell wouldn’t surprise me if they tried to stiff him.
However … I got the evidence too, with a cellphone camera. So if I hear about some guy getting stiffed at an Albertson’s video poker machine, I’ll bring my evidence forward.
I’m sure that the owners of the machine will never let it happen again. Something about those convenience and grocery store machines always struck me as not being 100% legit. Especially when they don’t have the cash on hand to pay you.
To the man who won big on the grocery store machine … Congratulations!
And for those of you who still do your gaming in opulent casinos with speedy drink service … you may want to reconsider.
The hell with the Wynn, the hell with the Palazzo … the real action is in the produce aisle … right next to the zucchini and squash.
Don’t say that I didn’t give you a heads-up.
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