Rex

Satisfying My Downtown Vegas Fetish

July 25, 2009

Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on your point of view), the “party pit” trend in Las Vegas continues unabated.

Last night, I checked out Downtown’s two newest offerings.  The Las Vegas Club’s “Fetish Pit” and The Plaza’s “Aqua Pit”.

Frankly, I did not know that the LVC’s pit even existed until this week.  I was alerted to its presence via a thread on my forums (thank you Chuck R.), and since I had planned on being Downtown on Friday night anyway, I felt it my civic duty to check the place out.

Like many other girlie pits, the Fetish Pit was located at the entrance to the casino in order to snag male passersby.  This tactic seemed to work to reasonable effect, as there was a fairly good amount of men rotating in and out of the tables.  Never underestimate the power of Boobjack.

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

I grabbed a seat at the “naughty nurse” table, and was greeted with a pleasant surprise.  I mean, besides the obvious mounds of female human protuberances.  Fine, the nurses boobs were fake, but it never ceases to amaze me how many women think this matters to us in the slightest bit.

Most adult males will have a good spank to Jessica Rabbit and she is completely fictitious.  I’ve never heard any man say “I stared at her boobs until I realized they were fake, then I turned away”.

As a matter of fact, in many cases fake is absolutely preferable.  If a man’s choice is between perfectly sculpted rock hard silicone, or real boobs with areolas hovering somewhere near the belly button, I assure you that most of us would choose the former.  And by “most of us”, I mean “all of us”.

Ladies, if you are considering whether or not to get fake boobs, allow me to make your decision for you.  Do it.

Don’t do it for yourself, do it for me.

Jesus I’m easily distracted.  What in the hell was I … oh yeah, I was greeted with a surprise at the table.

As I fished out a few greenbacks and checked the table odds, I was very surprised to see that I was playing at a $5 3:2 table.  The Strip really needs to get itself together, because Downtown (which officially includes the Stratosphere) is just crucifying properties like Harrah’s with far superior gaming offerings.

Not only was I playing at a dirt-cheap, full-odds table on a Friday night, not only was I playing with a hot nurse, not only was the pit boss a really nice dude, but I could look up and see the firm asses of a cadre of PG-14 rated strippers throughout the session.

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

You see, I’m an ass man.  And not in the Steve Jobs/Steve Wynn kind of way.  I actually like women in the normal XY chromosomal way.  To be hyper-specific, I like the posteriors of attractive women between 22 and 29 years old who weigh somewhere in the vicinity of 120lbs.  I will concede 2-3 pounds for every inch of height above 5’6, but visually, I’m incredibly superficial.

I do realize that I am nothing to look at, but it’s irrelevant.  I don’t get on podiums and dance around in a thong.  I don’t wear spandex.  Hell, I don’t even wear shorts.  If ugly people were as self-aware as I am, the world would be a far better place.

Fortunately, the women in the Las Vegas Club Fetish Pit did not have this problem.  They were hot.

I struck up a conversation with the naughty nurse, and she told me that the pit has been open for about 3 weeks, and that she was glad I was there.  Looks and friendliness is a hard combination to beat.

Given that she was a nurse, I decided to kill two birds with one stone.  I informed her that I had just turned forty one and that it was time for my annual prostate exam.  I asked for her assistance, and I also told her that I would be perfectly happy to turn my head and cough whenever she was ready.

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

Fortunately, she laughed at all of my stupid innuendo.  You would be surprised by the amount of eye-candy in this town who are completely unaware that they’re eye candy.  About half of the women in Vegas who make a living prancing around in next to nothing actually believe in all of the  “respect for women” mumbo jumbo.  They simply don’t see the irony in it.

Fortunately, the other half are willing to humor people like myself in exchange for higher net income, and these are the type of women that I actually have respect for.  The women who understand the product they’re selling, and who excel at their jobs.

Kudos to the LVC for hiring top quality dealers.  I was dealt to by several women in different costumes throughout the evening, and they all had top notch service personalities … and were damn good dealers to boot.

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

The Fetish Pit in The Las Vegas Club

Since I was doing quite well from a gambling perspective (I roughly doubled up in an hour), since there were only a few women working the pit to split the tips, and since they were all great … I tipped more than usual at the Fetish Pit.  I would have brought home more money had the women not been fantastic hosts, but they did try hard to keep me entertained.  It also didn’t hurt that the cards came out favorably for the women.  I placed 10-15 bets for the dealers throughout the session, and I believe all but one was a winner.

After finishing up at the Fetish Pit, I headed over to the other west-Fremont party pit.  The Plaza has something called the “Aqua Pit”, and they have one hell of a slick advertisement.  Women in pajamas with huge melons and an F me look on their face.

As I walked to the Plaza, I was fairly excited.  The Plaza is a larger property than the LVC, and if the Fetish Pit was good … I could only image that the Aqua Pit would be even better.

Sometimes it’s better to have low expectations.

When I got to the Aqua Pit, the women dealers were wearing psychedelic tie-dyed t-shirts, and few  people were playing at the tables.  I approached one of the dealers, and asked “Is this the Aqua Pit?”.  The dealer had no idea what I was saying.  She did not speak English.

The Aqua Pit Poster

The Aqua Pit Poster

The Real Aqua Pit in The Plaza

The Real Aqua Pit in The Plaza

The Real Aqua Pit in The Plaza

The Real Aqua Pit in The Plaza

The Real Aqua Pit in The Plaza

The Real Aqua Pit in The Plaza

She motioned for another female pit boss to come over to find out what I wanted.  The pit woman walked up to me, and after I repeated my question, she said to me in a heavy accent “Yes, this is Aqua Pit, you gonna play or not?”  I felt like I was being scolded by my Asian mother for coming in second place in the spelling bee.  I felt like I should apologize for interrupting them.

I was turned off.  This was not erotic.  It was actually a bit rude.  It also illustrates a point that I have made in earlier articles.  It’s easy to increase short-term profits by hiring cheap, unskilled labor, but it costs so much more in the long run.

If the dealers in your skin pit aren’t showing any skin, do not speak the language, and the pit boss is cranky … then what’s the point?

Given that the LVC and The Plaza are owned by the same people, this surprised me.  They certainly seemed to “get it” in one pit, and completely fumbled the ball in the other.

I’m not going to harp on the Aqua Pit too much, because things can and do change in this town from one night to the next, and your experiences can and will vary.  I’m going back to Downtown tonight, and I may drop by the Plaza again to see if it was just an off evening.

As of today, however, I give two thumbs and a third appendage “up” to the Fetish pit, and a shrug of impotence to the Aqua Pit.

Lest I forget, I also have to be honest about one more thing.  While the party pit trend blasts full steam ahead … the novelty is starting to wear off for me ever so slightly.  Perhaps because I frequent the casinos, becoming jaded is simply a normal progression.  You just can’t be awed by the same concept each and every day.  Constant exposure to something leads to natural desensitization.

When I first visited the Pussycat Pit back in 2007, it was great.  The Flamingo X Pit was next, then Planet Hollywood’s Pleasure Pit, then Excalibur’s.   Every time a new pit was established, I was pretty psyched.

However, the uniqueness factor upped the value back then, and when a particular concept crosses the threshold of novelty to omnipresence, it risks becoming routine.

Right now, all of the party pits are PG rated.  Last night, I actually spotted several baby strollers making their way around the Fetish Pit.

While I really do like the concept of the pits, I think they need to be taken up a notch and made more “adult”.  Bustiers are great, but topless would be better.  It’s a well-known fact that the more aroused men are, the more willing they are to part with their money.

Las Vegas needs to get over its inner-prude, and start living up to the “What Happens Here” hype.

That being said, as these novelty pits proliferate, at the very least … the trend is promising.

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12 Comments »

  1. Written by SPRUNT on July 25, 2009 at 12:07 pm

    If the fetish pit wanted to live up to its name, they would Make the stage a bit bigger and have a Hot girl in a leather or vinyl bustier and thong whipping another hot girl in similar dress, coupled with a table with a dominatrix-style dealer that insists that you call her “Mistress”. They would have a hot chick sitting above a table who was able to deal with her feet. They would have a dealer in a latex nun habit. They would have a dealer with fuzzy cat ears and a tail that disappears into their skimpy bottoms. They would have a hot midget.

    For the ladies, they would have a hot guy who sounded like Casanova dealing at a table where the seats had a bump in the center and every time they won the seat would vibrate, and every time the deck had to be shuffled, the dealer would fold laundry while a machine did the shuffling.

    Not only would this lend more credence to the name “Fetish Pit”, but it would also give you a little insight into the players based on the table they choose.

  2. Written by tully on July 25, 2009 at 12:38 pm

    Sprunt, I like your thinking—something for the women, too. Or the gay men, I guess.

    Might be tough to find a woman who can deal BJ with her feet, tho.

  3. Written by SPRUNT on July 25, 2009 at 12:41 pm

    I think they could find a hot amputee who could deal with her feet. That would take care of another fetish right there!

  4. Written by blueboar on July 25, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    Damn! They must have opened the Fetish Pit right after my last visit. A buddy and I wandered in that place one night. Wasn’t expecting much, but they did have a couple of hot chicks dealing (no “Party Pit” though) and the people were friendly.

    Sprunt, I like the way you think.

    Rex, don’t sell yourself short. I’ve seen you on a stripper pole before, and you can work it. (Although just the mention of you and a thong in the same sentence makes me want to gauge my eyes out. No offense meant, but damn.)

    As for The Plaza, they should just implode it. Immediately. It’s probably the only way to get rid of the smell in that place.

  5. Written by catherine on July 25, 2009 at 1:09 pm

    I haven’t been to those party pits yet, but after reading your article, I will avoid the one at the Plaza and will definitely check out the one in LVC with some of my girlfriends. The women in the photos look very friendly with most of them smiling, looks like a good time. Not sure if they did it on purpose but from your pics all the women at the aqua pit are Asian, was that coincidence? LOL, the fetish pit should hire you SPRUNT! Very creative, you must have first hand experience ;p.

  6. Written by ColinFromLasVegas on July 25, 2009 at 10:09 pm

    I just realized why I like Rex’s blog here. And the comments fortify it.

    All y’all are sicker than I am. And by the way, that’s meant as a comment. I’m in esteemed company.

  7. Written by FoolsGold on July 26, 2009 at 2:04 am

    Perhaps the Aqua Pit signage was perfectly adequate and the end of the shift was nigh, so tempers were a bit short, but Aqua Pit does already have a core clientele and appears to be less of an “attraction”.
    The locals may become overly satiated and want “European Style Dealers” but the Gaming Commission doesn’t want that, nor do casino owners want more money going to the girls than the drop box. The Fetish Pit will satisfy tourists and many locals. Thats enough. (Unfortunately).
    Nice that they were dealers first and hot babes second. And yes, 3:2 is a lesson Harrah’s needs to learn since the 6:5-tolerating tourist pool is drying up, having been sucked dry by the night club prices and the general economy.
    English language lessons would help just about any casino’s bottom line but it won’t start happening until the casino managers start to realize just how much of a turnoff it is to have an encounter with someone who smiles helpfully but can’t speak English at all.

  8. Written by briguyx on July 27, 2009 at 11:36 pm

    So the one thing I’ll never understand: if Rex won’t even wear shorts, how is he able to stand hanging out at these pools? It’s gotta be horribly hot and without taking a dip every so often, it would be intolerable, especially for a person who’s admitted he can’t stand hot weather. So what’s the deal?

  9. Written by 9th Island on July 28, 2009 at 3:11 am

    Hey Rex, in the 9th picture up… are the girls kissing in the background?

  10. Written by jinx on July 28, 2009 at 7:55 am

    Great report on LVC. Very good too that the dealers they chose were personable. Such a lost trait in many in the casinos and the good ones are way outnumbered by the bad. Just have to say wow to the dancers at the LVC. Seriously those were some attractive women. I’ve seen whre they’ve put dancers up that weren’t quite the outstanding quality at other places and I just have to say kudos to LVC for hiring some seriously wankable material.

  11. Written by Broadway Al on September 9, 2009 at 3:50 pm

    Two things here actually..
    The party pits are created to be fast paced … pushing more hands per hour and speeding things along to encourage the customers to make mistakes in their haste.

    The second is the propensity of places like the Plaza and the Golden Gate to hire non-English speaking Asians is quite annoying to me as a customer. In a gambling situation it encourages me to stay when there is some friendly conversation.. especially if I am losing. Instead I too have experienced either the blank stare or the rude cold shoulder while they are willing to take my money. There are too many places like Fitzgerald’s and the Fremont where the courtesy and friendliness is high.

  12. Written by Nayely on January 13, 2010 at 7:58 am

    I love your article Im actually one of the gogo dancers in a few of those pictures at LVC and all the dealers are real close friends of mine. Im glad you enjoyed yourself at our pit. its changed a little since we’ve opened but almost all same girls and new gogo dancers exceot for myself and one other. But thanks for the article and great pics too!

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