ONLINE GAMBLING AND CASINO GUIDE

Mention the name Aztec Inn Casino, and even the most ardent self-professed Vegas-philes will likely give you a blank stare.

Not only that, but if you perform an Internet search for photographs or reviews of the Aztec on major travel sites, you are likely to come up shorthanded.  Sure, you will find a word here or an exterior shot there, but it doesn’t seem as though anyone in the known solar system has spent any appreciable time in the place.

Given the above circumstances, one would probably assume that the casino to which I am referring is in a remote location just north of Bumbletwat, Nevada on US 95, and it would certainly be hard to fathom that the place is actually on the fabulous Las Vegas Strip.

In reality, the Aztec is located north of the Sahara, just south of the Stratosphere, and if you are traveling on Las Vegas Boulevard, it is technically the very first casino you will encounter in the city limits of Las Vegas.

This casino has been around for as long as I have been coming to Vegas, and while I have walked past it hundreds of times, and driven by it thousands of times I have only played here a grand total of two times.

Playing games in places like Caesars, Golden Nugget, and the Bellagio can sometimes get monotonous.   Everybody has been to these places a million times, and everyone knows what to expect.

For these reasons, I sometimes get the itch to take the road less traveled.

As I was returning from Downtown back toward The Strip this afternoon, I realized that it had been at least two years since I had been inside of the Aztec, so I dropped by to see if anything was shaking.

I entered the casino, passed an 80′s arcade game, and took a seat beside another player who just happened to be a panhandler.  This enterprising gentleman was not content to let inflation eat into his “spare change” take.  He was furiously working at parlaying it into something much greater.  Dare to dream.

I played a few hands of Bonus Poker, but the paytables were not really advantageous for this type of property, so I cashed out and re-acquainted myself with the rest of the establishment.

The Aztec Casino floor is basically one large room about the size of an elementary school cafeteria.

It’s strictly a video casino, and there are no table games.  There is a large video poker bar on the far north side,  stand-alone video gambling machines on the other side, a dance floor with a stage on another end, but the most interesting feature of the Aztec Inn is the very out-of-place Internet station in the middle of the floor.

You can actually buy a card for Internet access, and can surf the web in the center of the casino for the low, low rate of only $5 for 20 minutes, or $12 for 50 minutes.

I haven’t paid to use a public computer since the advent of wireless CDMA cards for laptops, so I really have no idea if this is a good rate or not.  Given that I can’t surf with my pants around my ankles in public, I’m not sure if I could make use of it anyway, but if you really need to fire off that angry missive with an IP address that can’t be traced directly back to you … this is your place.

John Hinkley, if you’re reading this, and still haven’t realized that Jodie Foster is not into dudes … then I found the perfect casino for your next love letter.

There are only a couple of banks of video machines near the cashiers cage, and while most of them are older, the more modern ones proudly have a sign over them indicating that they are “NEW”.

There is drink service, and I think it is a nice touch that they explain the comp system to you directly on the machines.  No matter how much you play, they only comp drinks.  Much like the Wynn circa 2005, the Aztec refuses to comp rooms based on play.  This is a shame, because I was looking forward to trying to Royal Flush my way into their Presidential Suite.

If you play $10 or more, you don’t get one of those fancy drinks in a “bottle”, but if you play your cards right, you just might get a “well drink”.

I really could not speak to the cocktail service as the lone cocktail waitress in the establishment was vacuuming the floor during my visit.  Don’t laugh, it’s a big floor.  At the Aztec, job titles are fairly fluid.  Why hire a separate cocktail waitress and janitor when you can get a 2-for-1.

The Stratosphere is only 20 yards away from the Aztec, and offers better odds, better drink service, and … well, better everything.  As does the Sahara another 200 yards to the South.

Therefore, the question begs to be asked:

Why does this place exist?

It’s a tough question to answer.

As almost everyone knows, I never insult a property as a whole unless they do something terrible to me or someone I know.  Snobbery turns me off, and as long as a place has its own thing going on, I can appreciate it for what it is.  I don’t have a problem with offbeat or just outright weird places if the people are decent and nobody throws an axe at me.

Since everyone I encountered was polite and friendly, I really can’t bash the place as most people probably would.

However, is the place a dump?

Yes, it absolutely is … but I don’t say this in a mean-spirited way.

If the Aztec has anything going for it, it is that it makes Slots-A-Fun look like the Encore.  It is quite possibly the most ugly casino ever built, and yes … I include the Western in that assessment.

But … The Aztec Inn Casino knows that it’s a dump, it does not pretend to be otherwise, and from what I gather … it quite frankly doesn’t give a flying frog fornication what you think about it.  It’s the Aberdeen, Washington of casinos.  They should hang a big sign on the front door that says “Come As You Are”, because this is exactly what people do here.

Haven’t bathed in 2 weeks?  Screw it, the Aztec has a seat for you and you won’t be judged.

Still have a switchblade sticking out of your chest from your foray down Baltimore Avenue?  Not a problem.  As long as you play $10, you’ll get a “well drink” as long as the waitress isn’t scrubbing toilets.

The Aztec is The official casino of Naked City, and they are apparently very proud of it.

When you think of what they have … a cab stand, a hotel, a Strip location, a Deuce bus stop, monorail access, proximity to two major casinos, and quick walking distance to the world’s largest gift shop … they really don’t have it all that bad.

Will I go back?

Sure.  In another two years.

I’m still a big fan of both The Stratosphere and The Sahara (despite the faux-$1 Blackjack), and the Aztec just doesn’t have enough going for it to lure me from those properties.

It does fill a niche’ though.  An “almost homeless” niche, but a niche’ nonetheless.

The next time you are near The Strat, by all means, drop by the Aztec.

Play a few hands of video poker, get yourself a nice “well drink”, and fire off a drunken email to your boss from an anonymous IP address.

You’ll be glad you did.

• Keep updated through Newsletter or on Facebook

  E-mail:
  

  Subscribe
  Unsubscribe