ONLINE GAMBLING AND CASINO GUIDE

For those of you who do not live in the United States, today is a national holiday in our country.  It is a time where everyone takes the day off from work and school to study the writings of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

In 1492, Martin Luther King died for our sins on Plymouth Rock.  After being reincarnated three days later, he proceeded to discover electricity by flying a kite in a thunderstorm, and later became our first President.  Over the years, Doctor Reverend King cured cancer and taught full contact origami to a small band of Central American freedom fighters.

You can see why he is a national treasure.

Seriously, I don’t know exactly what he did, but I’m  not a huge fan of MLK’s “kick my ass and I’ll sing songs” tactic.  I wouldn’t have gone into battle with the guy.  I would have sided with Malcom “By Any Means Necessary” X and the Black Panthers.  Those brothers didn’t take any s**t.

I think MLK is shopped to the black community ad-nauseum as a role model to encourage them to make useless feel-good speeches instead of taking up arms and forcing change by, uh, any means necessary.  He’s the less threatening black advocate.  He’s the government’s choice and the status-quo will always choose the weakest opponent.

I digress.

In order to show my love for diversity this weekend, I did what I thought would best convey this philosophy.

Gamble.

I dare you to look at a deck of cards and tell me that’s not a diverse group of characters.  Kings, Queens, Jacks, Fives, Sevens, Reds, Blacks … everyone gets along, just like I dreamt.

Except for the Jokers.  Joker discrimination must end.  By any means necessary.

Anyway, I started off the weekend at the Golden Gate.  Unfortunately, the Gate has ended its 99 cent shrimp cocktail special.  It’s now more than doubled in price to $1.99.  Fortunately, not even I am cheap enough to care about the whopping $1 price bump.

The cocktails were great as usual, although I felt that they skimped on the sauce a bit this time around.  When I got halfway down the glass, I was eating raw shrimp.  Not bad, but I like the sauce.

After consuming two of the concoctions, I made my way East on Fremont Street.

Once I got to Binion’s I ducked inside and decided to drop a few bones on the Blackjack tables.  Now, If I have but one regret, it is that I did not include the Binion’s girls on my list of best dealer pits.  I go to so many casinos on a monthly basis, that one is bound to slip my mind, and this is exactly what happened here.

Binion’s is far from opulent, but I still very much enjoy this pit.  The girls have the peekabo butt pants, trend toward the very friendly side, and the odds and limits are generally decent, offering normal $5 Blackjack most of the time.

I played some $5 cards for about half an hour, and I won even.  “Winning Even” is a term I coined to describe a mildly successful BJ session in which all of the profits go toward tips and I leave as much as I sat down with, give or take 10%.  I don’t mind winning even.  It pays the dealer’s a decent hourly rate, and is thus a net benefit to the casino without costing me much of anything.  Winning even is free entertainment.

Had it been a poker session, I would have been dissatisfied, but I never, ever play house games for profit.  I’ll take a big win if I can get one, but I’m happy with mindless entertainment without losing my bankroll … while contributing to the house.  I’m aware of the economic realities of Las Vegas, and I am aware that I need to give to the house to keep the casinos solvent and people employed.  I do get a weird sense of satisfaction when I win even and distribute the house’s money directly to the employees.  Kind of like a gambling Robin Hood (it’s my fantasy, let me have it).

After cashing out at Binion’s, I took my non-winnings over to the Fitz.

Fitzgeralds is somewhat famous for their all-day $2 Blackjack, but this game comes with the usual 21st Century caveat.  It is 6:5.  If I’m going to play Fakejack, I would just as soon play the $1 Sahara version, so I went ahead and played the $5 version of the real game at the Fitz.

I would really like to see every place Downtown completely abolish 6:5 and leave that nonsense for The Strip.  When people come Downtown, it’s usually for an alternative to Strip gaming odds and limits.  If I were to make my first pilgrimage Downtown and spot any 6:5, it would be a terrible first impression and I might wonder what the point was.

Alas, nobody takes my advice because the highly-educated beancounters are convinced that they know better than I do, despite a preponderance of evidence to the contrary.

What can you do?

Unfortunately, the Fitz was not as lucky for me.  I got dinged for about 25% early, and I packed it in and decided to save the bankroll for another day.

All-in-all, it was another pleasant weekend Downtown.  It’s rare that I go to Fremont and don’t casino-hop and enjoy myself, so this was par for the course.  I just wish I had stayed at Binion’s.  The eye candy was a little better, and so was my luck.  You’ve got to spread the love, though.  Everyone needs the business right now and I have a civic duty to give what I can.

Now if you will excuse me, I am off to celebrate this sacred day with the real black community.

They are over at the Flamingo throwing ping-pong balls into plastic cups.

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