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Everybody loves America, and everyone wants America to be secure.

Except for the 96.1% of the world’s population who do not live in the USA … who are all by definition … insane madmen.

If you don’t love Big Macs and Monday Night Football, you are a spawn of Satan. It’s in the Bible. Look it up.

That being the case, when the President signed H.R. 4954 … the “Safe Port Act” into law on October 13, 2006 … what God-loving American in their proper terrorist-hating mind would object?

I mean, I want our ports to be safe. I guess. Truth be told, I never gave it much thought … but now that you mention it, not allowing weapons-grade plutonium to be shipped into our country and sold as shampoo seems to be a reasonable enough goal.

This was what our President said shortly after signing it:

“We’ll do everything we can to prevent an attack, but if the terrorists succeed in launching an attack, we’ll be ready to respond.”

Hell yeah! We kick ass! We don’t take no shit from no stinking terrorists!

Of course, as is usually the case, the devil was in the details.

Sure, we were given authorization to make cool high-tech detection devices that allowed us to inspect cargo containers without opening them … but there was something a little unusual in this “Safe Port” bill.

Apparently, funding online gaming accounts with credit cards, checks, or electronic fund transfers to make wagers online were also of grave threats to the security of our ports.

How?

Well, nobody really knows.

If we knew, then Bin Laden would know, and he might use that knowledge to fund his next terrorist operation by hitting a flush on the river and using his winning to ship exploding dildos to the USA or something equally as nefarious.

Far be it from me to question the motives of my government, because they obviously know more about this “national security” stuff than I do. It only took them 6 years to find all of those weapons of mass … well, they will find them. Of that I am sure.

Anyway, the nation as a whole learned two years ago that funding gaming accounts electronically was evil, and while the new bill did not make online gaming illegal for U.S. Citizens per-se, it certainly made it more difficult for the average person with a credit card and an Internet connection to play a little Texas Hold’Em.

Title VIII of the Safe Port Act contains the language that outlawed large parts of online gaming money transfers, and this section of the bill became known as “The Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act of 2006” or UIGEA.

Since the act contained exceptions for lotteries, fantasy sports, and horse racing … this act was seen as a direct attack on online poker players.

Online Poker

Online Poker

Oh sure, there was public outcry, but when the answer to every question is “9/11”, you eventually stop asking. If I have learned anything as an American … it is futility. We have the illusion of control through duopoly elections, but we pretty much do as we are told, or get thrown in a cage.

However, people have remained angry about this bill.

Since that fateful day in October 2006, there have been rumblings here in the states about having the bill overturned. It seems to gain a little momentum for awhile, and then it drops off a cliff.

This year may be different, though.

We are changing Presidents on January 20th, and rumors are swirling that the new administration will actually step up and overturn the non-security provisions of the Safe Port bill. Apparently, the new administration does not support the UIGEA.

Not only that, but opposition to the UIGEA has found a new ally.

Las Vegas.

Sort of.

Because of the tanking economy here in town, Las Vegas Casinos want to expand their operations online, and allow people to gamble in Las Vegas properties from the comfort of their own homes.

Online Gambling Website

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Of course, if Vegas is able to overturn the UIGEA, they will do everything they can to have Congress regulate online gaming to the favor of US-based casinos, while trying to keep overseas operators out of the market … creating somewhat of a “U.S. corporate monopoly” for online gaming.

What does this mean for the U.S. online gambler?

It means that we may be able to wager freely online again, but before yo know it, we will be playing 6:5 Blackjack from the comfort of our own homes instead of being able to play at the online gambling venue of our choice … which may have more favorable odds and promotions.

It doesn’t look as though things will go completely back to their pre-2006 existence. In a country where laws are bought and sold to the highest bidder, it is unlikely that online casinos from overseas will have a seat at the table during the discussion, and any overturning of the UIGEA will almost certainly be accompanied by strong regulations preventing our gaming dollars from leaving the country.

I this good or bad?

It completely depends on your perspective.

While online gaming may be able to save our local casinos, I don’t think a lack of competition is a good thing. Just look at what it has done to our fair city.

We’ll probably get poor odds and poor promotions compared to what the rest of the world is privy to.

I should be able to gamble my online dollar wherever I damn well please, and so should you.

On the other hand, it would be nice to be able to game online without having to jump through ridiculous amounts of hoops as is often the case now.

Honestly, it is a shame that we are dictated to in this manner, but that is the current reality of geopolitics.

If you are an online gambler in the U.S., you should keep a close eye on the UIGEA in the near future, and at least make your opinion on the matter known.

I’m not saying that anyone will listen to your opinion (unless you have enough cash to bribe off a senator or two), but you should still give it a shot.

It looks like 2009 has the potential to be a very, very interesting year for online gaming.

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