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Anyway, since he got such a weird reaction from the crowd, I stood in place as he walked in my direction so that I could give him some affirmation. He was a Hispanic guy, maybe mid-30’s, with the iPhone in one hand and two kids flanking him. The kids were clamoring for a peek at the device and he was grinning from ear-to-ear. When he got about 10 feet away from me, I said “Congratulations!” and I threw my hands in the air signaling a touchdown. He smiled widely and flashed the phone at me. I was genuinely happy for the douchebag. Contrary to popular belief, I’m really not a dick. I’m actually pretty nice, and this goes double if you are sort of an outcast.

Now, this entire time, I noticed that a security guard had been walking behind the iPerson … following him by about 10 paces. I really didn’t think anything of it, though. Just as I was getting ready to ask iDude to pose so I could get a shot of him with the phone, the guard caught up to him and bellowed “Are you leaving??!!!”.

“Yes”, said the iPerson, in a completely calm and collected manner. He then turned away from me and began briskly walking toward the exit.

“Good!”, said the guard, “I don’t want you in the mall!”

The iPerson looked back and seemed confused, and his kids seemed confused, but he continued walking toward the exit. He didn’t exchange words with the guard, he seemed genuinely taken aback. As the family walked on, the guard then stalked … yes … STALKED the family through the mall. He walked closely behind them, circled them, and began talking into his walkie-talkie. I’m not sure exactly what he was saying, all I heard was the word “disorderly” at one point.

The problem is, the iPerson was not being disorderly. At all. The guard was also Hispanic, so it clearly wasn’t a racial thing.

Here is a man with his young daughter and young son making their way back to their car, and a guard was following him and trying to bait him into reacting to verbal abuse. The guard’s mannerisms and aggression were completely bizarre, and they were posing a clear and present threat to the family. If the iPerson had clocked him into next week, it would have been completely justified and I would have testified before a jury that it was self-defense. There were three uniformed Metro PD officers nearby, and this is the main reason I kept my distance. iDude was alright with me, but I didn’t know him well enough to get shot in the head by Metro.

To summarize, a Fashion Show Mall guard waited until a guy was 100′ from the Apple Store, accosted him and his children when they were doing nothing but walking to their car and grinning over their new phone, and the guard overtly tried to provoke an attack by the customer.

Seriously, how big of a pussy do you have to be to try and bully a man in front of his kids?

And for what? For the high crime of celebrating his iPhone purchase?

All the man did was cheer and do a happy dance in front of the Apple Store. What the F**K is wrong with that? Why was this not a good thing?

The guard’s behavior was just so … creepy.

Remember, this guard is the guy who is protecting you from “terrorists”. This guard is the guy who almost certainly takes the “See Something, Say Something” program too seriously. This guy also proves everything I have been telling people for the past several years:

Our security personnel, from full-time law enforcement to lowly mall security guard are out of control. Completely and utterly out of control. They are perpetually looking for a fight, an altercation, an excuse to hurt someone … and more and more often, they are finding it. Over the weeks here, we have had a couple of officer-involved shootings against unarmed men. Now, it seems that the rent-a-cops are getting in on the action.

Imagine, if the police department refuses to hire smart people because they might get bored, how f**king stupid does a security guard have to be in order to get the job? These people aren’t 98ers, they are 75ers, and they are in charge of you. They can detain you, lock you in a cage, shoot you, and when it comes time to tell your side of the story, a jury of fellow 75ers will decide who was right and who was wrong.

The guard in this photo has no business working any kind of “security” job, anywhere, at any time, and he should almost certainly not be allowed near any environment in which kids are present. Judging from what I saw yesterday, I have zero doubt that this man is a predator. Pure and simple. What I witnessed was a disgrace and affront to any rational person. In my opinion, the Fashion Show Mall is sitting on a ticking time bomb by allowing this man to stay on the job, and last but not least … it’s a pretty shitty way to treat a customer.

Before someone chimes in with “there are always a few bad apples”, I must say that these situations cannot be exceptions to the rule. I see this kind of guard behavior all the time, all over town. Hell, I had a cop yelling at me while I was losing consciousness on the way to the ER. I had a guard go off on me at the Strat when I asked for directions. Officers were dicks when I tried to point them toward an unconscious man. I’ve never had a positive experience with any of these guys.

I think it’s pretty clear that Las Vegas is a place which appeals to stalkers, predators, and those of unstable personality … and it’s also very obvious that it is these very people who are most drawn to “security” positions. It’s a problem, and in my honest opinion, it’s getting worse by the year. Las Vegas is a dangerous place, and the problem is exacerbated by our wolves dressing in sheep’s clothing.

Anyway, the iPhone 4 is officially here, and iPeople all over town are rejoicing.

If you got yours, congratulations.

If not, may I suggest an Android?

We can make video calls from anywhere, we can hold our phones with our left hands, we can actually use our wireless internet connections, and best of all … our app store has boobs.

Think different.

Read: Happy iDay Part 1 (Part 1/2)

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