ONLINE GAMBLING AND CASINO GUIDE

In what is by far a personal record, it took me almost two full weeks to see a brand new girlie show in Vegas.

I’ve been interested in seeing PEEPSHOW since it opened on April 18th, and I was planning to see it sometime next week, but I jumped at the opportunity to catch the show last night.

It’s hard to describe PEEPSHOW in words, because you really do have to observe it first-hand.

If I were to try to compare it to something that has already existed, I might be able to make the case that it is a cross between Fantasy, Fashionistas, and Folies Bergere.

While it shares similarities with all of these shows, it is anything but a clone of any of them.

It’s not a simple nudie show à la Crazy Girls or Le Femme, rather it is a full-blown production, complete with a live band, frequent set and costume changes, major choreography, and get this … live vocals.

Yes, real live singers. The addition of live music takes the show to a completely new level.  Past that of simple eye candy and into the realm of actual skillful performance.

It is because of this level of showmanship that the show is suitable for males, females, and everything in between.  There is enough music, dancing, and props going on that even if boobs aren’t your thing, you’re still going to have a blast.

This is one of the few skin shows that they could do fully-clothed, and still hold the interest of the audience.  It is very fast-paced, rapid-fire, and there is never a lull in the entire 80 minute production.

What Folies and Jubilee were to the class of 1960, PEEPSHOW is to the class of 2000.  The concept is vaguely similar to the old shows.  Song, dance, and titillation … yet it has been dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century.

Since the girls wear pasties and thongs for the majority of the production, PEEPSHOW is not full-on a topless show … but there are, indeed, fleeting moments of areola.

I would never have considered this a “plus” before, but the buildup to flashes of whole mammary makes the boob-spotting a little more special.  They tease you for 15 minutes, then give you a flash of real nip.  Believe it or not, this actually works.  Of course, It doesn’t hurt that they are prancing around in thongs the rest of the time.

Now, I rarely use the word “stunning”.  Few things deserve that moniker from a heterosexual male, least of all the design elements of a hotel.  I am going to use it now, though.

Every single, solitary woman in this production was stunning.  Good god, while this show is running, I can only imagine that the rest of the planet is entirely void of bangable chicks, because they are all on the Planet Hollywood stage.

I’m not talking “stripper stunning”, I’m talking supermodel, “Deal or No Deal”, drop-dead bone-stiffening stunning.  There was not one marginal chick in this whole production.  Each and every one of them was an 9-10.   When the most hideously ugly chick in the cast is a 9.5, you’ve accomplished something special.

Honestly, these girls were so hot that they could stand onstage and take turns farting the Star Spangled Banner … and I would pay a hundred dollars to see it.  (hey, I just got an idea for a new sketch)

While I collectively chuckled along with the rest of Las Vegas when I heard that Mel B of the Spice Girls was going to play a leading role in this show, I hereby publicly retract my chuckle.  Holy Mother of Mercy, she is hot.  A few square inches of her naughty bits are covered, but there is plenty of spice showing.  If you dropped a quarter onto her ass, I swear the thing would defy Earth’s gravitational pull and ricochet off the moon.

I had to psychically restrain myself at least ten times from standing up and shouting “I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want!”.

To be honest, I was always a Sporty Spice fan myself, but I am going to do some serious soul-searching this weekend because there is a very real chance that I might change affiliations.

At only 33 years old, Scary’s voice is still excellent.  I realize that the SG’s were a prototypical girl band, but they were always able to belt it out.  Their … live … Saturday Night Live performance in the late 90’s was actually when I became a silent fan of theirs.  They could sing,  have fun doing it, and tighten pant sizes all at the same time … and that more or less describes what this show is all about.

Of course, the other “star” of this show is Kelly Monaco, and she is perfect for the role.  32 year old Playboy Centerfold turned Dancer of The Stars turned Vegas headliner.  You would be hard pressed (no pun intended) to find a better “Bo Peep”.  She’s easy on the eyes, and knows how to command attention onstage.

The show does have a plot.  Kelly Monaco falls asleep an innocent woman, and Mel B appears to her in a dream and proceeds to teach her how to become a whore.

No offense to Jersey Boys, but this is a frigging plot!

For here on out in the show, Mel, Kelly, and the dream-ettes act out one stereotypical male fantasy after another.  Say what you will about stereotypes, but most of them are based on truth.  These were no exception.

I had some favorite, of course.

In one scene, they put the girls in a giant aquarium filled with milk.  A few ladies jumped in the milk bath, and removed their clothing.  Of course, due to the color of the liquid, you could not see their bodies, but they took turns pressing various body parts against the glass, at which point you could briefly see them.  This effect was actually very cool.  You never knew which body part the ladies were going to reveal next, and this sketch lends itself well to improvisation.

Another favorite of mine was the cheerleader sketch.  The choreography with the pom poms and the short skirts was very, uh, creative … and this is one of the scenes in which the entire mammaries made an appearance. It is probably not necessary for me to elaborate on why this was a favorite.

There was an apparent crowd participation moment where someone was dragged onstage, but much like Zumanity, it was hard to tell if they were part of the cast or not.  I seriously doubt that some random lucky tourist is going to get strapped to a bed while being sloshed with paint while the band plays a rendition of Aerosmith’s “Pink” … but hey … dare to dream.

Speaking of the live band … not only are they very talented, but they played above the stage in plain view. This was a great decision.  Too often when you see a production with a live orchestra or band, the musicians are hidden away and it’s hard to tell whether the audio is live or Memorex.  The omnipresence of the band adds a welcome layer of authenticity to the show.

In the interest of full disclosure, there is some sausage in the show, but fortunately it’s very brief.

Note to all Vegas show producers:  The people who want to see wang are in the Encore or at one of the numerous “alternative lifestyle” bars in Commercial Center.  We’ll forgive you if you leave it out everywhere else.  I promise.

This is the problem I have with putting sausage in nudie shows:  If I already have a Woodward and Bernstein, and the scene cuts to a dude … I have a “Crying Game” moment.  Us dudes feel weird having bone density in the presence of other dudes, so we go to an “evil place” in our mind to soften things up so that we don’t confuse ourselves.

My evil place usually involves Barbara Streisand and Rosie O’Donnel jello-wrestling naked.  I don’t want to go to this evil place during a show.  I want to stay in my happy place.  That being said, the dudes were more for comic relief (a guy uses a rope to emulate his schlong), so it was bearable.  They were also talented singers and dancers, and not Chippendale meat, so the producers can almost be forgiven for putting them in.  Almost.

Before going to PEEPSHOW, I did read a couple reviews of the production, and as is often the case with our local shows, they ran the gamut.  I get the feeling that some folks who roll in for “reviews” don’t really get the point of a Vegas show.  Many of them feel compelled to say something profound, in a venue in which profundity is clearly out of place.  These shows are not supposed to be high art, nor are they marketed as such.  They are supposed to be entertaining.  Period.

I’m going to come right out and say it.  If you are not entertained in this show, then you have no soul.  I would urge chin-stroking critics to stay home and read Oprah’s Book of the Month selection, because I don’t want to meet the person who doesn’t leave this theater with a smile on their face.  It is absolutely the epitome of fun within the paradigm of that which is Las Vegas.  It is also the perfect fit for a property such as Planet Hollywood.

If you like the Pussycat Dolls, if you like playing in the Pleasure Pit, if you just enjoy music, visuals, and T&A, then you are going to like this show.  I honestly don’t see how you couldn’t.

It lacks nothing that you would expect from a show of this genre, and in fact, offers best-in-breed talent.

Planet Hollywood has thrown down the girlie gauntlet with PEEPSHOW, and in my opinion, it is now the “Showgirl” production to beat.

I give this show an enthusiastic two thumbs and one extra appendage up.

Major props go to Planet Hollywood upping the ante and bringing the goods with this production.

We sorely needed the fresh material, and you delivered.

I think I speak for every male in this town when I say “Thank you!”

• Keep updated through Newsletter or on Facebook

  E-mail:
  

  Subscribe
  Unsubscribe