Barfing Into a Traffic Cone
December 8, 2008
A strange title for a post, but that is exactly what happened.
After checking out the marathon yesterday and the new parking lot at the “Welcome to Vegas” sign, we headed north on the Boulevard.
When we got to the light at LVB and Trop, a car one lane over to the left opened its passenger side door.
The sequence of events that followed were bizarre.
First, a traffic cone emerged from the car.
The Traffic Cone
A traffic cone?
Some lady was holding the bottom end of the cone, and I honestly had no idea what was about to transpire.
Before I knew what was happening, she put her head outside the car, and began hurling into the traffic cone.
barfing into the traffic cone
The End Result
This begs the question … who in the hell carries a barf cone in their car???
I mean, I am fully aware that airlines put barf bags into the seats on their aircraft … but “barf cones”?
What the hell, man?
How much barfing do you expect will be happening, that you need to carry around a giant cone in the car just to collect the vomit?
This is a strange fucking town.
It also brings me to a larger point.
Puke in Las Vegas.
Ask any maintenance worker in any Vegas hotel how much vomit they clean up on an average night, and they will need a slide rule.
I had my scanner on the other day, and heard barf calls all morning. I am close enough to The Strip that I can actually pick up the housekeeping channels of a dozen major casinos. Every time I roam onto their channel, someone is being dispatched to clean up regurgitation.
Look, I don’t mean to sound preachy. I am the last person on earth to pull the “just say no” crap. I’ve probably consumed more booze than everyone reading this combined, and have done more than my fare share of everything else that is out there.
I am not an abstinent person, and think that people should take what they want, to feel as good as they can.
That being said … regardless of how much of what I consumed … I could generally handle my shit. Not always, I’ve had my days like everyone else, but after a certain age, I was always quite functional.
I knew what combinations of what I could consume and still be where I needed to be without projectile vomiting all over those around me.
It is becoming more and more apparent lately that the average Vegas tourist is no better in control of themselves than a 16 year old girl at a High School party when her parents are out of town.
Seriously, if you are going to become so drunk that you don’t even remember where you went the night before … why not just stay in your hometown and go bowling instead? Not remembering bowling is a hell of a lot more economical than not remembering a night on the town in Vegas.
If you are going to drink to the point that you make yourself so ill that you cannot hang out in Las Vegas the next day, then what is the point of coming to Vegas?
You book two days, and one of them is spent in bed in the hotel channel surfing.
Really?
Be sick at home!
It is zero fun to be sick on vacation.
Some people go on vacation and get the flu or have some other problem, but drinking until you blackout and are physically ill should be something you should have been long passed by say … age 25.
Look, I realize that the “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas” nonsense is still the calling card of the city … but just destroying yourself to live up to the phony marketing hype isn’t cool in my opinion.
The whole thing implies that people are no longer responsible for their own actions, and when they find themselves face down in a pile of their own puke without knowing how they got there, and fight to stand up, shrug and say “What happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas!”, then everyone has a good laugh.
Except me. I don’t get it.
If I fly across the country … or world … to go to a unique place to have a vacation, I want to remember it. I don’t want to be fighting migraines and the stomach flu.
Sure, the casinos love it. You don’t know or care how much money you are losing, but if you don’t want to remember the fun you had while losing your money … create an online account and play from the comfort of your own cone while drinking a $3 forty ounce from the local 7-11. It’s cheaper, and it has the same effect.
Every night I see it … fights over nothing, inebriated assholes, people throwing chips at poker dealers, people stumbling and falling on their faces, people hurling in elevators. And these are grown adults.
People are always saying “I hate children in Las Vegas!”, but I rarely see 8 year olds making the asses of themselves that I see down here on a nightly basis. I think we should start welcoming children so they can teach the adults how to frigging behave.
See, I knew it would come off preachy, but it really wasn’t supposed to be.
I really like to see people having fun and enjoying themselves.
I dig people getting their buzz on and forgetting their troubles for awhile. That’s the point.
But, I hate seeing people falling down, throwing up all over the place, and wasting their hard earned money doing what they could have done at home … getting blind drunk, getting robbed, and remembering none of it.
Hell, you can do that on MLK Avenue in your own home city.
When you come to Vegas, try to actually remember your escapades, and try to enjoy every day of your vacation here without being extremely ill.
When people start carrying gigantic barf cones around Las Vegas, it’s officially become a problem.
Written by Magnumdf on December 9, 2008 at 10:32 pm
Seriously, if you are going to become so drunk that you don’t even remember where you went the night before … why not just stay in your hometown and go bowling instead? Not remembering bowling is a hell of a lot more economical than not remembering a night on the town in Vegas.
If you are going to drink to the point that you make yourself so ill that you cannot hang out in Las Vegas the next day, then what is the point of coming to Vegas?
You book two days, and one of them is spent in bed in the hotel channel surfing.
Really?
I agree! After reading some of the comments about the attendees of RexFest, I was thinking the same thing.