The High Cost of Self Esteem
May 24, 2010
“Would you like to buy me a drink?”
Up until this point, my evening was actually going pretty well.
“What?”, I responded to the young lady who had just parked herself beside me. I was hoping that I had misunderstood her but I was sure that I hadn’t.
“I said I’m going to let you buy me a drink”, she reiterated, this time with even more self-confidence than before.
I looked at the woman, this time more intently. She was in her mid 20′s, had light brown hair … and was about a 6.5 on a scale of 1-10.
“That’s a very generous offer”, I said, “but I’m not even buying my own drinks.”
Technically, I was correct. For the first time in a long time, someone else was picking up my tab. It’s not cheap being VegasRex since the money to grace others with my wonderful presence usually comes out of my own pocket. This night, however, I was being treated, and goddamn it … it felt good. I sure as hell wasn’t going to spoil the vibe by fishing out my wallet and paying for someone else’s buzz.
“Are you sure?”, she continued.
“Oh yes. I’m very sure.”, I answered.
I turned around to continue speaking with my sugar daddy for the night, but unfortunately, nothing in life is ever easy.
Tap, tap, tap … I felt on my shoulder.
It was Six and a Half. She was still there, and apparently, she was not enthralled with my attitude.
“Are you gay or something?”, she asked, motioning toward my companion.
Honestly, I couldn’t believe the conversation that I had gotten roped into. This whole interaction was like a scene out of a really bad 80′s movie. I swear, if I could go back in time three weeks, I would march in the Gay Pride Parade just to show solidarity against people like this woman.
“No, I am not gay”, I said, “you are just not as irresistible as you think you are.”
This comment did not meet with her approval.
“You’re so rude!”, the woman said loudly as every head in the place turned toward us. I know what the other patrons were thinking. They were thinking that I had done something terrible.
Think about it. Here’s a big, old, ugly guy next to a small, semi-cute babe-in-the-woods. When she gets offended, you’re naturally going to assume that the old perv asked for a blumpkin or made some other hideously inappropriate comment. Never in a million years would you think that the chick had over-asserted herself.
When Six Five brought her friend over to “talk” to me as well, my companion settled up and we left.
As much as I would like to say that this was a unique occurrence, I would be lying if I did. While this was the most annoying incident, I have been approached by non-hooker women several times in the past year who have been absolutely convinced that they would make my day if they allowed me to buy them a drink and/or they gave me even the slightest bit of personal attention. They have all been incorrect, but rare is the young woman who realizes this fact gracefully.
Now, last night’s conversation underscored something I have been noticing for awhile. I think I’ve spotted a trend, and I think I am in a unique position to spot nation-wide patterns.
Since I live in Las Vegas, and frequent The Strip, this means that I co-exist with a much wider cross-section of America than do most other people.
For instance, if you live in Cleveland, you are surrounded by Clevelandites all day, and you obviously notice certain trends and patterns amongst your fellow residents. After a certain period of time, I think it would be safe to say that you have your finger on the pulse of Cleveland.
As a Las Vegan, however, I spend my days surrounded by people from Cleveland, and Denver, and New York, and Los Angeles, and Dallas, and Miami. As such, I am probably reasonably well-equipped to spot trends which transcend that of my immediate geographical area.
It is from this experience that I am going to offer the following observation:
There is a self-esteem crises among the young women of this country, but contrary to popular belief, it is not a crisis of low self-esteem. From my own experience, especially of the past several years, it appears to me that most young women are absolutely convinced that they are smoking hot, even if they are decidedly average in appearance. In turn, this is causing a widespread pandemic of women who honestly feel that every male with whom they come in contact should somehow be grateful for the privilege.
Women on the Las Vegas Strip
This trend is the source of at least some unnecessary conflict, and at some point, the uber-confident women of this town are going to need to dispel the notion that they are somehow unique and worthy of praise simply for existing.
Look, I am no prize pig. To the contrary, I’m a very visually repulsive person. I’m old, ugly, and I wear clothes from the 99 cent store. This being duly noted, one of the harsh realities of life is that men don’t have to be attractive to get some sticky on their icky. If you are a male, and you play a sport, play an instrument, make a reasonable amount of money, or are in the public eye in any capacity … you will be able to torpedo much punani. For Christ’s sake, Larry King (of the trolls) has been married 8 times, and each of those times his brides have been quite cockslappable. Just because my face looks like the unshaven ass of a rabid sloth, it does not mean that I am enamored by every skirt that walks by.
Ladies, if you are reading this, allow me to tell you something with absolute certainty:
Regardless of what you look like, I have nailed way hotter women than you. I promise. Yes, even if you are the prettiest woman in your Jazzercise class back home. Regardless of how cute you are, or have been told you are, there is nothing you have that I haven’t seen before, and the chances of me being smitten by your beauty are damn-near non-existent.
This does not make me gay.
Young women of today simply don’t seem to be able to wrap their minds around this, so I will try to illustrate the point in another manner.
Have you ever seen a newborn puppy? For the first year of their lives they follow you around, nip at your heels, piss themselves with glee every time you bend down to pet them, chase birds, and are genuinely enthralled at the sight of just about everything.
Now, fast forward 15 years. You have the exact same dog, but very little impresses him anymore. At this point, he’s urinated on every light pole, fucked every bitch in the neighborhood, and has played fetch enough times to realize that it is a pointless game with no clear winner. He doesn’t get excited when you pet him, and when he sees the local cat walk across the front yard, instead of giving chase, he just thinks “I hate goddamn cats” and then goes back to his nap.
Well, I am going to be 42 years old next month. I am the old dog.
Fortunately for the high self-esteem girls, there are still plenty of puppies in Las Vegas. They can usually be found in places like the Hard Rock, The Palms, or driving around Rochester, New York in a grabber blue Mustang.
Don’t get me wrong, I like looking at hot women as much as the next guy, but I view them as living models. They are works of art. I photograph them, and use them for my own personal bonerific objectification. The more attractive and scantily dressed the female, the longer I will enjoy the view, but looking is really the extent of the interaction that I wish to have with them. I take hundreds of pictures of the Stratosphere each year, but I don’t want to fuck it. I don’t even want to talk to it. I want to admire it and move on.
Therefore, to all of the 21-35 year old women out there perusing the city; so as not to have any awkward or rude moments; allow me to take this opportunity to pre-issue the following responses:
No, I will not buy you a drink.
No, not even if that drink will make you do “crazy things”. (I once had this line shopped to me)
No, I am not gay. (not that there’s anything wrong with that)
No, I am not here on vacation.
No, I don’t dance.
No, I don’t care that the DJ is “playing your song”. (it sure doesn’t sound like your voice)
No, I don’t find it fascinating that you got a lapdance from a stripper last night.
No, to everything else you might ask. With one exception.
Yes, you may show me your boobs.
I said I’m old, not dead.
Written by SPRUNT on May 24, 2010 at 10:14 pm
Her- “Would you like to buy me a drink?”
You- “Would you like to accept my penis in your mouth?”
Her answer to your question will often be your answer to hers.
Written by J. Louise on May 24, 2010 at 10:40 pm
Rex–This is actually a pulitzer prize-worthy article! Thanks for the laughs and the reality check.
Written by Paul on May 24, 2010 at 10:55 pm
I agree, excellent article. It made my day reading that one. I especially love your description of your face as looking like an “unshaven ass of a rabid sloth” lol. Thanks Rex.
Written by Charlestongirl on May 24, 2010 at 11:18 pm
Hysterical and right on target as usual!
Written by haxt0r on May 24, 2010 at 11:58 pm
Wow, now I wonder what women really think when I ask to buy them a drink?
–hax.
Written by ColinFromLasVegas on May 25, 2010 at 12:08 am
Thanks for the laugh.
Just wanted to add to your article. Something I have seen. And I’m sure you have too.
Tourists that come to Las Vegas get caught up in the mystique. That Sin City, anything goes thing. Even the women that come here.
I swear I have seen young women come here. They’re from Kansas. Rural part. Go to church every Sunday. Follow all the rules. Dress conservative and nice and up to acceptable social standards for that area. They never cuss.
Then they come to Las Vegas. They see the lights. They see the people. They see the neon. They hear the beep boop of the slot machines. They look at everyone else. They look at the buildings in awe.
I give them a day or two.
Then they’re dressing like hookers, no underwear, wearing as little as the law allows, getting drunk and swearing worse than me (a retired Sailor).
I’ve seen this.
It’s shameful, I tell you.
But God, I love this town. You’ll have to use a crowbar to move me out of Las Vegas. I swear…..
Written by Justin on May 25, 2010 at 12:34 am
This article is perfect. I’m sending this to every six that think they’re tens.
Written by Gene on May 25, 2010 at 12:45 am
Thanks for the laugh Rex you rock!
Written by donnymac on May 25, 2010 at 1:20 am
And I always thought that line meant she was interested in my old fat ass! Thanks for the laugh Rex.
Written by james h on May 25, 2010 at 3:32 am
if you wonder if the hot young woman smiling and talking to you in the casino at 3 am is a hooker…well, if she is smiling and talking to you, then she IS a hooker…look in the mirror, you are probably not that great!
Written by tully on May 25, 2010 at 3:51 am
Oh god—LMAO.
Is this perhaps some sort of scheme just to get drinks? Guy buys Miss Persistent a drink, she says she’s gonna go to the restroom or something similar, then disappears.
Once that drink is finished she hits up another guy for more booze.
So buying the drink could actually make the woman go away. Given Strip drink prices, it would get kinda pricey, though.
Written by Dean on May 25, 2010 at 4:14 am
I’d rather buy a drink for a 6.5 that’s going to suck my dick than buy a drink for a 9.5 that’s not going to “work” for her drink.
Written by Shaver on May 25, 2010 at 5:24 am
Ounce again REX is on the mark with true and funny stuff. Well done.
Written by huddler on May 25, 2010 at 1:08 pm
I dont mind buying drinks at bars. But if some woman just approached me without saying anything other than asking me to buy her a drink, I definitely would NOT do it. I would ask her to show me her tits if she wanted a free drink, or something similar.
Written by Jinx on May 25, 2010 at 1:25 pm
I get being mildly agitated at her actions at the bar and I’m in agreement with you, today’s women is far more aggressive and believes she should be catered too based on her looks. I do have to ask though, is this really a bad thing, on one side we bash the fact that Vegas has become a bit of a sausage fest or that there are hookers everywhere instead of real women. On the other, we don’t like it if they think they are hotter then they are or how they act.
I don’t think your wrong Rex, on the new attitude of many women, I’ve had a women at a blackjack table after doing a shot of Patron openly discussing with her friend, who she was going to single out for sleeping with. She was a 6 or 7, but in truth would it matter for most guys if they chose her. If they want to indulge in exploring their confident sides I don’t see a big problem with that. I realize that some are going to be a pain in the ass if you reject them, but so I’d almost rather have that then the pretentiousness that exist with most.
Written by Train on May 25, 2010 at 2:16 pm
It’s rare to find such elegant use of the term “cockslappable.” I applaud your mastery of the language!
Written by philipj on May 25, 2010 at 2:21 pm
I enjoyed your article and thoughts.
Some years back we started to have more commercials, and TV shows doing put downs to husbands/males. From that it seems some females have taken it to them selves to live the roll of the putting down & teasing woman. Thus “you may buy me a drink”. A friend responds with “why is your shirt buttoned?”.
Written by Chad on May 25, 2010 at 3:01 pm
To me it looks like a cleaner, somewhat sexier, version of “Hey buddy can you spare some change”
Written by dan on May 25, 2010 at 5:18 pm
Young women are often despicable and clueless. Older women are just despicable.
Written by Jessica on May 26, 2010 at 3:44 am
i think you may be biased in your observation of this trend because you are only exposed to this type of woman. think about it, only the overly confident women will try this crap. so you’re over exposed to these wacky women. you’re never introduced to the modest/shy/low self-esteem woman because they simply wouldn’t do this. i just think it may seem like this is a new trend, when in reality i think it’s about evenly divided between overly confident women, average/modest women, and women with low self-esteem as it always has been
i think that since i am a woman, i am exposed more to the women with low self-esteem. it’s really sad actually. i wish more women would have more confidence. but there is a difference between confidence and arrogance. your article was hilarious! i think i have pretty decent confidence, but i would NEVER be so presumptuous! it makes me wonder, is it difficult to date on a serious level when you live in vegas?
Written by Hawaiianmark on May 26, 2010 at 5:31 am
“punani”
Good job.
Great, true as shit read.
51 y/o old fut approved!
Written by ohdio on May 26, 2010 at 6:02 am
I could be wrong, but I’m thinking that the trend that you’re seeing stems from, 1. years of self esteem being taught in the schools (YOU are the most important person in the world) and 2. Several seasons of Sex and the City. I’m from the low self-esteem camp, so of course I cant imagine approaching anyone like that….but have often observed herds of male douchebags with the same “ain’t I hot” attitudes…which is scarey because these people all get drunk and breed with each other.
Hope you ended up having a decent visit with your friend.
Written by VaMark on May 26, 2010 at 6:31 am
What bar was this at? No one ever talks to me when I go barhopping.
Written by Alisa on May 26, 2010 at 8:54 am
A lot of young women certainly are more agressive these days. As a woman, I’m all for self-confidence and taking initiative. However, taking such actions means there’s a chance of rejection, regardless of how irresistible she is (or perceives herself to be).She shouldn’t have been such a drama queen about it, just get over it and move on! Personally, I’ve never asked a guy to buy me a drink like that, I find it so crazy- but that’s just me.
Written by Ken on May 26, 2010 at 4:45 pm
Possible reply: “I’d love to buy you a drink honey,but right now I’m talking to my parole officer”.
Written by Tyler Durden on May 26, 2010 at 6:09 pm
I would reply “My name is Mattley and I own a Mustang that looks like a fucking autobot!”
Written by Ted Newkirk on May 27, 2010 at 12:08 am
Funny this comes up because I’m on a diet. I own a mirror. I know what I look like. I am not yet trim. You are not going to see me at a dayclub in board shorts.
Yet you watch TV and see women who need to lose 100 pounds and have dropped their first 20 running around like they are a supermodel now. When in reality, they are still porky (to put it politely) and they still have 80 pounds to go. And are not yet hot.
I’m not sure if it is society raising self-esteem or women actually believing the stuff guys tell them to try to get them in bed, but there seems to be a serious increase in the number of women who think they are a LOT hotter then they are. And then (you are so correct) they think we are gay or something when the reality is that we can simply do better than what is in front of us.
The drink buying thing is simple:
If I have no interest in them, I just tell them that I’m really busy right now .
If they are acceptable or cute, I say:
“I’ll tell you what: You buy the first round, I’ll buy the second”.
Keeps the women who will take their free drink and run at bay. And if they actually have some interest in you (and would commit the time for a couple of drinks), they are paying first to show that interest.
After all, ladies… you fought for equal rights. Can’t get any more equal than splitting the cost of the drinks while we talk! And a hell of a way to weed out the women with no interest in a guy beyond his wallet.
Written by FleaStiff on May 27, 2010 at 12:23 am
>a hell of a way to weed out the women with no interest in a guy beyond his wallet.
ALL women consider men to be animated vibrators with wallets and rudimentary conversational abilities. Don’t ever expect more than that… it will never happen.
Written by Disco Stu on May 27, 2010 at 6:52 am
The line, “driving around Rochester, New York in a grabber blue Mustang” is a nice little reward for those of us who participate in your forum. That is truly funny!
Written by StevenOfBaltimore on May 27, 2010 at 2:54 pm
Love the dog analogy. I’m going to remember that.
Written by Frank on May 27, 2010 at 9:40 pm
You can always use what I said to the last woman to ask, “Are you gay?”
If you are the alternative, I am now.