Cocktail waitress attractiveness is a very hard thing to assess.
First of all, there is such a wide and diverse variety of girls in every casino that it can be very difficult to stereotype an entire property as a whole.
Second, what does it even mean to be "best looking?"
It seems self-evident, but it's not as easy to assess as it sounds. Raw physical attractiveness is a component, but costumes also play an important role. For instance, a 7 in a bikini will almost certainly be more fun to eye-hump than an 8 in a nun costume.
Also, personal preference comes into play. Does one like blondes or brunettes? Does the person prefer "classy" women, or do they find the "trashy" look more appealing?
Tall or short? Leather or lace? Real or fake?
Last but not least, judging waitresses solely on looks is shallow and insulting. It reduces women to objects, and it shows a blatant disrespect for the advancements women have made through decades of feminism. It degrades our givers of life. Our nurturers. Our mothers, daughters, and grandmothers. Only the most ignorant and arrogant of unenlightened men would even attempt to rate women on appearance as though they existed for no other reason than to be ogled while satisfying his juvenile and immature male fantasies.
With that in mind, let's get started ...
In purely subjective, inaccurate, and non-scientific order, the following are the best looking cocktail waitresses in Las Vegas:
While not the most interestingly dressed waitresses in Vegas, the quality of the Wynn servers earn them the top spot. A solid majority of girls who deliver drinks at the Wynn could easily be culled from the pages of Playboy or the Victoria Secret catalog. The fact that standard consumer flash units penetrate their uniforms like an X-ray garners these ladies additional bonus points.
2. Planet Hollywood
I'm an ass man. There I said it. I greatly enjoy a nice set of headlights, but I'll crawl over 300 miles of parched desert in the middle of July to catch a glimpse of a perfect apple-shaped (female) butt.
While most properties tend to over-emphasize knockers, Planet Hollywood appreciates a good ass, and they give patrons a solid glimpse of what is going on downstairs.
The boyshorts which adorn PH servers are not as enticing as thongs might be, but they do tend to lift and sculpt the buttmeat into an attractive mass of flesh ... not unlike a bustier.
The Planet Hollywood girls are a fun alternative to the Wynn's high-society, and there's definitely room for both at the top of the list.
Along with the Mandalay Bay, these ladies used to be ranked #1 and #2 respectively. They used to wear pseudo-thongs and were always in the upper echelon of attractiveness.
While the Mandalay has slacked on their costumes in the past few years, the Rio still makes an effort to keep things fresh. The thongs have been covered with black lacy skirts, but they are still more revealing than average.
It also doesn't hurt that many of the waitresses put down their trays, climb atop slot machines, and perform on a periodic basis.
The combination of looks and entertainment keep the Rio women near the top in overall attractiveness.
Palms waitresses tend to be young, well-endowed, and quite striking. What more can you ask for? The costumes tend to be a little "top heavy", but the leather skirts give some hint of what's going on underneath the glory curtain.
The attitudes of the girls can be a bit off-putting, but let's face it, they're not hired for their conversational skills.
5. Hard Rock
There are a lot of crossover demographics between the Palms and the Hard Rock, so it comes as no surprise that they often hire women with the same overall "look and feel".
Low cut tops, leather skirts, and similar "look at my hotness" attitudes. While they are almost interchangeable, I give a slight nod to Palms for bonerific consistency.
I had known about the high quality of the Orleans girls for some time, but when I started going to the Suncoast in 2005, I was shocked to find some of the hottest Vegas cocktail waitresses working in such a far-flung locale.
Not only were they above average, but they also wore Playboy bunny-esque costumes (sans the tail and ears). Over the years, Coast casinos have had a policy of hiring some of the best local talent in town.
More recently, some debate has taken place as to whether or not they still rank highly. Some people allege that Coast is now allowing a more "mature" demographic to transport drinks (not that there's anything wrong with that), and this is evident to some extent, but as far as I'm concerned, these properties still rank near the top.
Yes, I said it. The Hooters chicks are not only generally attractive, but they're also fun. The only problem I have with these ladies is the fact that they should be more scantily dressed. I think it's a tragedy that the girls in the Hooters casino dress the same as they do in a Hooters restaurant in Boise, ID.
That being said, they are still more revealing than the waitresses in some of the other properties. I'm not sure whether or not this is a positive referendum on Hooters, or a negative one about the state of cocktail waitress costume design in Vegas.
Either way, the tacit "go ahead, ogle me" attitude, lack of seriousness, and general attractiveness of the Hooters Girls makes them some of the most fun to watch.
8. M Resort
The M Resort waitresses have just the right mix of classy and trashy to almost deliver the best of both worlds. Instead of trying to be fashion models, they have more of a "hot MILFS next door" thing going on. The skirts are short, the cuts are low, and the majority of the ladies have winning personalities.
Much like your best friend's mother when you were 16, they also seem like they could whip up a mean casserole.
Like the Wynn, the ladies of the Bellagio are intended to have a "classy" look and they meet this goal. They don't show as much skin as I would prefer nor do they wear transparent clothing, but most of them are in the solid 7-9 range.
Of course, this is still the Bellagio, and personality is sometimes lacking, but even after deducting points for congeniality ... they're still among the best.
It seems a bit too early to give the nod to a property that has only been open for two weeks, but they are off to a good start. So far the hiring criteria for Aria seems to be "big boobs, small waist, nice face".
Even though many of the waitresses seem nervous and inexperienced, this is a very much a "looks" contest. Anything can happen as time goes on and inevitable personnel shifts are made, but as of this moment, they are in the top-tier.